Ant and Dec (4)

When I read this article in the Daily Fail  my piss started to, boil at truly scalding levels!

I often watch morning news on ITV and BBC whilst enjoying my morning cuppa in bed but I fail to see why a rampant talentless left wing loon like Sussanah Reid gets paid £1.1 million a year for sitting on her arse reading an autocue and interspersing it with own propaganda driven drivel.

But that’s not the point of this cunting. Scroll down and your piss will really boil. Two talentless Georgie ex children’s TV presenters have signed a £40 million three year deal with ITV to arse around presenting shite TV shows like “I’m a has been, please relaunch my career”, “Saturday night shite” and now a new quiz show “Limitless boredom”

Yes, you read that right. Ant and Dec are going to cream in £6.6 million a year each for fucking about on telly as only they can.

FFS. The world has gone truly fucking insane…

Nominated by: Dioclese

 

Extinction Rebellion (11) and the Justice System

A dual cunting for XR and the British legal system. We could even make it a triple cunting by including the Anglican church.

In line with the current rule of law, a number of “climate protestors” have been found not guilty, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Meanwhile, Mr T Robinson (not sure of his real name, but perhaps I may be able to get it from the media), gets harangued for trying to speak the truth about Muslim grooming gangs.

What the fuck is wrong with this country? What the fuck is wrong with the church? I used to be a fairly regular, if infrequent, church goer. Whatever shite was going on in my life, I knew it was unchanging. Now it is run by a fuckwit (Welby) and full of self-serving cunts like these two. I now haven’t set foot in a church for almost a year, and I think I have lost religion.

Anyway, that’s an aside. The downward spiral of the legal system is very serious. It won’t be long before the rule of law breaks down. It is already the case that peacefuls and dark keys are untouchable, and can do what they like. It seems we can now add cretinous white old fools like this, if they believe in the climate bollocks.

Cunts to a man. I hope one of these old religious fuckers tries to stop me going about my lawful business as they may find themselves under the front wheel of my Triumph, then I’ll head-butt the cunts with my lid on. Just look at Phil Kingstons little face and tell me you don’t want to beat it to a bloody pulp with a crow-bar – I do.

BBC News Link

Nominated by: Lord Cuntingford


And this from Komodo

The Law is a Cunt.

Or, at least, whether it’s a cunt or not, it’s no longer effective:

LBC News Link

Taken with the Bristol Four Cunts case, the clear message is that if you are upset about something, you can break the law (trespass, criminal damage, you name it) with impunity. Or that juries have the right to make up the law as they go along, which used not to be the function of juries.

And I’m still awaiting the fallout from the attempted destruction of Gill’s bloody awful statue* on the grounds that he wasn’t a very nice person. Sledgehammer man will have to establish that he is a vegan transphilic BLM supporter to get away with it – any hint of a white van with a St George’s cross and he’s had it – and this could be popcorn material.

*It really is a bloody awful example of Thirties Selfconsciously Modernist art, and would not have been out of place in Moscow or even Berlin at that time. Right action, absolutely the wrong reason. Next stop, Leonardo da Vinci?


And there’s more, this time from Sick of it

Another fucking outrage

The Shadwell Three. ‘A calling from God’

The old farts have been cleared by another woke jury of blocking a train line when the twats climbed onto a train as one of the Extinction Rebellion protests.
Two were full time god jockeys and claimed it was a calling, so that’s it if god says yes then the law comes a distant second. Good news for all the peacefuls who stab and bomb in the name of Allah, it’s fine carry on ‘it’s a calling from god’

This is just a week or so after the Colston four got a free pass

Welcome to Anarchy in the UK.

Daily Mail News Link

Help wantedj

Are you a regular, long standing user of this site?
Are you honest and reliable? (of course you are)
Can you spare a little of your time?
Are you a bit of cunt (maybe just a little bit)?

Many regulars feel that this one of the few bastions of free speech on the interwebby thing, so if you want it to continue and prosper, and –

if your answers to the above are ‘yes’, we ask you to consider joining our small admin team.

Please send us a confidential message via the contact form.

(This message will be displayed top of the list for a few days. New posts will still appear below it)

Guinness is Piss

A couple of nights ago I met up with my old pal Big Al for a proverbial “swift half”.

On entering the pub I headed to the gents for a slash, and on approaching our table, I saw to my dismay two halves of what looked suspiciously like Guinness sitting there. “What” says I, “is that?”.

“That”, says the Big Man, “is one of my New Year resolutions. I’m determined to educate your palate in the appreciation of the black nectar. You just need to acquire a taste for it”.

“We’ve been through this before Al”, says I with a sigh. “I told you the last time you tried this. To me this stuff’s as bitter as fuck, and right sickly to boot. It tastes like a burning tyre to me. How do you ‘acquire a taste’ for that? It’s bloody rank”.

“I reckon it was badly pulled last time” says he. “Go on, indulge me. Take it slow”.

So for the next twenty minutes or so, I struggled to neck this noxious brew, but had to give up. “Sorry Al” says I. “It still tastes you got it from a farmer’s cesspit to me”.

“Gaaahn you jessie” says he, “yer ‘opeless. What d’ya want then?”.

“A malt. Glenfiddich if they’ve got it” says I. “I need to get rid of the taste of that muck from my mouth”.

“Guinness is good for you”, the adverts used to say. Yeah, that’ll be right. Good for giving you the shits, more like. I’ll pass.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

The Norman Conquest

The so called “Norman Conquest” and what a load of nonsense it really was.

It has been alleged by some so called “historians” that William the Conqueror scooted over the English Channel in 1066, did a bit of invading and took over the Country.

I have often suspected this was nonsense made up by Frenchies who are jealous of our burgeoning deodorant and shower products industry and hate the fact that the British are taller, better looking and harder.

And it turns out I was correct – I was recently skulking around Sir Fiddlers vast Country estate stealing turkeys and Christmas trees when in an abandoned building I happened across some ancient documents written at the time by “Kev ov Hastings” and a newspaper report from Ye Daily Mirror clearly stating what really happened – a drunken German accidentally wandered across the border into France, the dreadful smell of the place being temporarily obscured by the strongly flavoured “Schnautzerhimmel” sausage he was stuffing himself with at the time.

Upon seeing him the entirety of France immediately surrendered with a few of them, all coincidentally called “Norman”, being so scared they stole some boats from Ye Olde Dinghy Invaders and scooted over to Hastings. They went to a bus stop to ask for directions to the nearest garlic farm, were bitten by a Staffie called “Tyson” and all went home. I have interroga, er, “chatted with” several people named Norman and they all deny taking part in any kind of invasion so that’s good enough for me!

I am glad to be able to perform a public service by sharing this vital and historically correct information with you and as I am now putting the word “FACT!” in upper case letters I believe under IAC law this correction of history can now never be questioned!

However, a caveat – I believe my malevolently magnificent mind may be slipping – while I was finding out the info I kept imagining hearing a voice saying “Please help me – my name is Gemma, I am being held captive, please contact the police and my agent – I have money, lots of money”..

Nominated by: Vernon Fox