The pope Is Still Dead

Not Francis’s fault, poor old devil – titter ye not, but the 0500 hours news on Wireless 4 this morning led yet again with the story of the ghoulish visitors in Rome, so intent on seeing the poor old gent, they kept the museum open all night so they could shuffle past. Some of the bleeders even took photographs on their mobile phones, a cross in one hand and the iPhone in the other.

Then there is the exciting news that our atheist Prime Minister Keir Rodney will be at the funeral , no doubt crossing himself animatedly, so he looks like one of those dancers on Top Of The Pops in 1965 (or Top Of The Popes), and no doubt pleading that Anthony Blair should be the next Pope. Kweer will be “laser focused” and “crystal clear”

Those ghastly, grisly photographs of the dead Pope make me feel sick – it looks as if they didn’t put his teeth in. On Saturday it will be interesting to see who looks deader – the Pontiff or Dame Keir, with his white make-up on.

There have been hundreds of acres of newsprint, God alone how many hours of TV and radio, but perhaps the most egregious article (apart from the sentimental rubbish in the Daily Mirror and other tabloids yesterday) is this one, which fair put me off my Spotted Dick on Monday (I knew I shouldn’t have gone anywhere near Mandy!):

Daily Fail

Nominated by W C Boggs.

Tragedy

”Trans people ‘seeking asylum abroad after Supreme Court ruling’

Yes, the totally illogicals decision that people are born with their biological sex has sent the woopsies into a spin.

”Trans people are seeking asylum abroad amid fears for their safety after last week’s Supreme Court judgment, a Labour peer has claimed.”

Yes, as soon as this judgement came out the streets were thronged with bigots looking for drag queens to murder. The fellas dressed up can no longer hang around womens changing rooms and the women dressed up can no longer piss in urinals.

Lord Cashman is appalled. But what this has to do with gay rights is debatable. Unless you accept that a trannie is a homosexual with mental problems. If you think a trannie can choose gender then you must also think that anorexics are fat. Stands to reason.

Oh dear
Too bad
Never mind.

MSN

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble.

Dead Pool [359]

Congratulations to Shaun who has won Dead Pool 358 by picking the Former Uruguayan President Jose Mujica known as “Pepe” who has died aged 89 just seven days before his 90th Birthday.Mujica was a guerilla fighter who served 14 years in Prison before becoming a senator then cabinet minister in Uruguay.He assumed the Presidency in 2010 and served a 5 year term and was recognised I believe by Guinness World Records as the poorest president in the world using his 1987 clapped out blue beetle whilst in office and donating his salary to charity.He was also a farmer and lived in a small farmhouse unlike most world leaders.

On to Dead Pool 359

The rules

1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will conk out next.No duplicates and its first come first serve.You can always be a cunt and steal someone elses nominations from the previous pool.

2)Anyone who nominates the worlds oldest man or woman is a cunt who we will ignore.

3)You must nominate a famous cunt we have heard of.

4)No swapping picks mid pool unless your pick has already been taken.

5)Hits are awarded based on chronology of death reporting not necessarily in chronology of death.

The Isle of Man TT

This event started in 1907, only stopped for the two World Wars. 2025 will run from May 26 to June 7, featuring 11 days of racing action, but the cunting here, is the number of people, that over the last 117 years, have been killed. Riders, sidecar pilots, marshals & spectators. There were two, that lived near me, one was killed on a Triumph 500 in the early 50’s, the other on a Yamaha in the 80’s. Some bad years were 1970 & 2005, where the average death rate of 2.5/year was exceeded. So why do they do it? Barry Sheene crashed here riding a 125 in 1971, & became a critic, citing its extreme danger, & never rode the T.T. again. In those days it was on the Grand Prix calendar, so it was compulsory to compete. Sure some things have improved, like G.P.S. trackers are now fitted to the bikes, so that paramedics can get there quicker, in the event of an accident, but that won’t help if someone has hit a tree, a pub, or someone’s front wall at speeds of around 200 M.P.H. It will be a mixture of concentration, courage, skill, knowledge of the track, an element of luck & a bit of pure madness. The bikes are getting quicker, & the average speed record now stands at 136.35 M.PH. set back in 2023, meaning that the 37.73 mile course was completed in just over 16 & a 1/2 minutes. There have been bird strikes, & I guess many other forms of fauna, have contributed to accidents over the years. There has been talk of having a similar set up on the Isle of Whyte, but nothing further to add on that one for now.

wiki

Nominated by Lord Scunthorpe, Link provided by Cuntemall.

BBC Pidgin (2)

Notwithstanding reporting on all manner of depraved African pantomimes and feral chaos at every turn,it reads like a pîss take by Ali G( before he became a woke snowflake)..

“We dey watch in brief for di family of di deceased. We no dey here for di defendant and dis na serious mata of national importance and we dey here to see say dem do justice.”

What a treat,like reading a transcript of David Lammy’s latest Cabinet meeting.

Fortunately it’s all paid for by taxation fuck your winter Fuel payments,pay for a lunatic with a bone through its nose to give you the “news”..

Hopefully Sam Beau is available to clarify the mess..

bbc p

Nominated by Unkle Terry.