Dead Pool [310]

Congratulations to Lord Biryani who correctly predicted the death of the legendary US comedy Producer and screenwriter Norman Lear who has died aged 101.Lear was best known for making the Jeffersons , All in the Family , Maude and many other classic sitcoms in the US usually tackling the subject of race (much like Johnny Speight did in the UK before him)

Onwards with Dead Pool 310. You know the rules:

1) Pick 5 famous cunts you think will conk out next. It is first come first serve and no duplicates are allowed. You can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s nominations from the previous pool.

2) Anyone who nominates the world’s oldest man or woman is a cunt who will be ignored.

3) It must be a famous cunt who we have heard of.

4) No swapping picks mid pool unless already taken.

5) Hits are rewarded based on the chronology of death reporting not necessarily chronology of death.

Let the game begin!

Omid Scobie


Now let me see… thermos of coffee, check. Cheese and ham sandwiches, check. Camping chair and blanket, check. Book…

Oh excuse me, didn’t see you there. Don’t mind me. I’m just having a final run through to make sure I’ve got everything before I leave the house. It’s for the all-night vigil outside the bookshop. I want to be the very first to get my hands on a copy of Omid Scobie’s new book ‘Endgame; Inside the Royal Family and the Monarchy’s Fight for Survival’.

I’m so excited that I’ll piss myself if I’m not careful; perhaps I should take a pair of incontinence pants along just to be on the safe side. Well it’s only natural to be excited, isn’t it? Apparently the book is what’s known as ‘a bombshell’. Mr Scabies’ no doubt meticulously researched tome will surely bring to light previously unheard facts and deep insights into the lives of the Royals, and will scupulously avoid any material which could be considered remotely contentious or sensationalistic.

If this new work even remotely compares in quality to the creepy-looking Mr Scoobie Doo’s previous megaseller ‘Finding Freedom’, I can confidentially see a Pulitzer Prize for an outstanding contribution to journalism landing in his lap. I’ll have absolutely no truck with those who accuse him of muck-racking for a fast buck, or putting the boot into the royals on behalf of his puppet-masters, the Duke and Duchess of Nutfux.

Well that’s me. Better get off so that I can get right at the front of the queue. The place is sure to be absolutely mobbed. Ta ta for now.

Standard

Nominated by Ron Knee, link by Minge Juice Bottler.

More from our Royal Reporter Ron Knee follows.

The Royal Racist

“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s Royal correspondent Ron Knee speaking. Our followers will be aware that the publication of weirdo Omid Scobie’s new book ‘Endgame’ is again leading to speculation over the identity of the so-called ‘Royal Racist’. I’m joined by a senior member of the Royal Family, who wishes to remain anonymous, in order to set the record straight on what actually happened. Now, your…er…”

“Good afternoon. Please just refer to one as ‘X’, my good man”

“Well, your Xness, perhaps you’d care to give us your recollection of events”

“Certainly. One recalls that members of the family were taking afternoon tea in the drawing room shortly after the announcement that Meghan was (as dear Philip might have put it) ‘up the duff’. Naturally conversation turned to the er, physical features that might appertain where the child was concerned, that jolly old sort of thing, you know; all quite harmless”

“I see. Please elaborate”

“Mmm… someone raised the question of whether the child might be a ginger after its dear papa, and if a male offspring, whether he might fail prey to premature balding in later life. At that point, one ventured to wonder (quite innocently, I must emphasise) whether or not there might be a touch of the tarbrush there”

“Goodness. What happened next?”

“Well, one was immediately made aware that one might have put one’s foot in it. Her Majesty (who had graced us with her presence) pulled a face as though a malodorous guff had just been let orf under her nose, and huffed that ‘one simply didn’t make that sort of remark nowadays’. One was instantly mortified”.

“Oh dear, what an awkward moment. What happened next?”

“As you say, an awkward moment indeed. One is afraid to say that a deafening silence ensued, until a certain personage, who one shall refrain from naming, attempted to change the subject by making a speculation on Aston Villa’s prospects in something called ‘the transfer market’, one believes it was”

“How extraordinary. Did the atmosphere then return to normal?”

“Well, luck then favoured one with a most opportune distraction. One of HM’s corgis chose that moment to drop an enormous whoopsy on the carpet, necessitating the summoning of a lacky to remove the offending item. One was able to withdraw hastily to one’s private apartments for the rest of the afternoon”

“Naturally I’m sure that IsAC’s many followers will conclude that such speculation was merely the sort of thing that any family would engage in when faced with an addition to the family. All innocent and completely harmless”

“Indeed, all completely innocent and harmless, and that Scobie creature has no right to suggest otherwise. Storm in a teacup and that sort of rot. Fellow’s obviously a wrong ‘un…”

“Thank you Your Xness, for taking the time to set the record straight. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”

Mirror

One final dose on this nobody from Norman below.

Omid Scobie (and Harry and Megain) are colossal cunts.

Scobie, the chief Markle arselicker, has claimed there has been an ‘error’ in the Dutch edition of his royal sleazefest ‘Endgame’.

This ‘error’ apparently names the senior royals who were so ‘racist’ to the G-List Trailer Trash Opportunist. Of course, we still only have Megain’s word that this even actually happened, and I believe her and Hewitt’s word about as much as I believe in Father fucking Christmas. But an error and not meant? My arse. This whole thing has been arranged by those two self serving devious bastards and their author acolyte. They will now cash in on this ‘revelatory error’ just like they cash in on everything and everybody else. Only, the fuckers will deny they let the cat out of the bag and blame Scobie or the Dutch publishers. Milking it for all it’s worth, still slandering people, while trying to appear blameless and playing the victim. That is Megain and her pet Orangutan all over. Cunt, all three of them.

Bianca Williams (2)


Oh dear me. Another cunting please for Bianca Williams.

Wannabe sprinter , Olympic hopeful, Ha. And race baiting cunt.

More information has come to light regarding this poor fucker who made such a noise over being stopped by traffic plod that the officers lost their jobs.

It now transpires that on three occasions she refused to identify who was driver her car that had been seen committing traffic offences. That she already had 11 pts on her driving license. Following her latest court appearance she has been given a further 18 pts and a 6 month driving ban. Hurrah for small mercies.

Thankfully the magistrate refused her request to keep her license. She said it would cost her undue hardship. Tough shit, race baiting twat. Will any of this it get plod their jobs back. No of course it won’t.

What a self serving race baiting awful motorist this Cunt is.

Sky news

Nominated by Everyonesacunt.

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George Pooter is of the same mind with this 

Bianca Williams, cuntess of cuntox.

Olympic hopeful,Ms Williams formerly stopped for driving offences which ended with her shameless yet inevitable production of ‘The RaCe cArd” and the dismissal of two police officers on the grounds that they couldn’t prove they smelt cannabis, has finally got her come uppance:

BBC News

The fact that you denied two men of earning a crust on the spurious grounds of non-reflective racial bias has come back to bite you on the arse hasn’t it?

You’re a professional runner you say ? Well fucking run to your future appointments in Londonistan, it’s got to be quicker than vehicular transport and when the inevitable ‘stabber’ pops up you’ll be easily able to put distance between you.
You entitled sack of shit.


And more of the same, this time from Sick of it

A karma catching up with you cunting for the race card throwing cunt Bianca Williams.

On this occasion the card was denied and so she tried to toss in the Olympic hopeful card but unfortunately for her she was told to fuck off.

She was requested (police) in writing to identify the driver of a vehicle involved in a traffic incident three times but failed to do so and paid the price with her driving licence being loaded with 18 points (to add to the 11 already there) and a six month ban

It seems that, even though she lives in London, she can’t survive without a car and it will mean going to training will be difficult, ah well never mind.

What is the betting she will carry on driving while banned in the true form of her breed 😂

Metro News


Oh dear! Poor old Bianca. Here’s this from Pontius Cuntus

Bianca Williams, she’s a bit of a cunt isn’t she?

Not content with being a race baiting old tart who got 2 policemen fired, she also went on to say how disgusted she was with the amount of money which had been raised on a Go Fund Me page for said police officers.

Well it turns out she forgot to tell them who was driving the car, 3 times. She has also gained another 18 points to go with the 11 she already had.

Now call me a cynical cunt but why would she already have 11 points if she was such a good driver? I think the police said they pulled the car up because of the erratic way it was being driven.

Makes you wonder why the Met Police believed her and not the officers involved. could it be………….. I will leave that one for you.

BBC News

Modern ‘visionary’ Film Directors

(Old school film directors – Day Admin)

Never has the term visionary been so misapplied as it has to these cunts.

M. ‘Night’ Shyamalan – Had a couple of hits but since Signs has produced cringeworthy shite. Signs was marred by aliens being allergic to fucking water, on a planet covered in fucking water.

J.J. Abrams – made a career from copying Spielberg for one film then Michael Bay for the rest of his career without ever mastering how storytelling in films actually works.

Helped destroy both Star Wars and Star Trek, simply by rehashing plots of previous films of each property (not a ‘franchise’, you goddamn dirty Yanks) and making them for fans of The Fast and Furious films.

Rian Johnson – Made a decent science fiction film with Bruce Willis in Looper, but fucked up the middle of the new star wars trilogy and went on to direct Knives Out, another film that cheats the viewers and doesn’t seem to care.

Colin Trevorrow – yet another one-hit, one -tit monkey who made a middling indie film about time travel (Safety Not Guaranteed) and was given Jurassic World to play with. Effectively a special needs remake of the original that American geniuses lapped up, and a betrayal of the series created by Michael Crichton.

Trevorrow is another cheap no-mark drafted in by Disney to write and direct the last chapter of the Star Wars films but it didn’t meet Kathleen Kennedy’s warped expectations so he was given the boot.

Josh Trank – Another one-hit indie wonder who was hired by Fox to reinvigorate their mostly unadaptable Fantastic Four property but he ended up going nuts in his hotel and making no improvement on the relatively solid efforts of Tim Story in the noughties.

Understandably, more has come out as to what led to Trank’s unravelling during production and it seems the studio were making things much more difficult than as previously revealed.

Still, one decent Indie film about kids gaining superpowers is not a reason to throw wunderkind at him.

As for the subject matter, will a stretchy genius, a Brooklyn heavy made of bricks and a woman who turns invisible but gets a lot of revealing nosebleeds ever belong outside of a comic book? The character with the most cinematic ability (the human torch) has the least interesting personality..

A film of the fantastic Four should’ve been made when Dean Jones was still driving Herbie.

Joss Whedon – creator of Buffy; The Vampire Slayer and destroyer of the art of dialogue. Raked money in for Marvel with the Avengers but ultimately created the trend for soulless billion dollar cartoons-posing-as films.

Turns out this male feminist treated actors like cunts when working on the set of Buffy, and to think the bastard attended Winchester College.

Oh, so did Seumas Milne and Rishi Sunak!

As for cinematic visionaries there’s also James Gunn who ‘caught lightning in a bottle’ with his entertaining cartoon Guardians of the Galaxy but has put nothing but more spandex dross since.

Last and perhaps least of the irritants is Zack Synder. known for his over the top, hyper-stylised adaptations of comic boo… sorry, ‘graphic novels’.

Snyder has stayed with the trusted formula but things fucked up for him as Warner brothers tried to copy the success of Marvel and Disney and created such bloated, moronic CGI epics of their own as ‘Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Fuckpigs’ and ‘Fuckpig League’, the latter of which fell into disarray during production for all sorts of reasons too boring for most cunters and all too embarrassing for the actors and studios involved although the one that is most ridiculous is worth explaining; in one of these films Superman has a CGI top lip because Henry Cavill wasn’t allowed to shave his moustache as he was filming Mission Impossible with not-gay micro-tyrant Tommy Cruise.

One scene depicts Superman being brought back to life with a light-up Rubik cube. It made me think, ‘if only these ‘visionary’ cunts all perished so that Tony Scott could return to the living, the entertainment industry would be all the better for it’.

I include this link for reference, and because it made me laugh…

Screenrant

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

(Just a quick note to say there will be an additional and highly topical Nomination at 11am today. Thanks – Day Admin)

Nigel Farage (5)

 

If we accept the fact that 95% of politicians are control freaks, liars or whores, the behaviour of publicity hungry Nigel Farage is especially egregious.

If we take for granted his enthusiasm for Brexit is genuine, the rest of the man is totally fake, as fake as Starmer trying to pretend he is working class.

Forever retiring then un-retiring, popping up on TV, trying to position himself as the next leader of the Conservative party(!) – they might be desperate but not THAT desperate – Farage has now reached his nadir by appearing on the TV show run by two 50 year old teenagers

¨I´ḿ A Nonentity Get Me Out Of Here¨, the home of desperate old slappers, pansy TV personalities and failed soap stars.

The silly cunt though still thinks he has a future as a serious politician. As if!

Msn.com

Nominated by W. C. Boggs.