Customer Service [2]

Shite customer service needs a cunting, nothing boils my piss more than cunts who make trying to buy something more difficult than it needs to be, I doubt I will get ant sympathy for the one, but cunt companies and cunt policies need to be dragged kicking and screaming into the daylight.

This is the well known high end shop in Knightsbridge in Londonistan with the green and gold logo.

There was a watch I wanted to get and there is a waiting list and the policy that they won’t post it, so needs to be collected in store, so 11 months after putting my name down I get an email to say God has smiled on me and my name is at the head of the list, goody, goody thinks I.

The trip from South Wales to Londonistan is a pain in the ring, I’m super busy, my aging 5 and a half litre Merc isn’t allowed in without paying shit loads of charges risking violence from Greenpeace and then I have to park the fucker and walk to said shop without being mugged by moped gangs or accosted by faggots. So I think I will have someone pick it up for me easy,,,, fucking hell these cunts won’t take a card payment over the phone, bank transfer, no, WTF cash no, fuck it OK I will come over on fucking Sunday, oh we only take payments between 12.30 and 1.00, WTF do want to sell this watch or what, on top of that these cunts don’t ring back when they say they will, don’t email, don’t answer the fucking phone to the point we’re I thought stick the watch up your arse cunts, you have now really pissed me off, fuck you I’m going to buy a different watch in Cardiff.

Never have I ever dealt with difficult cunts on this level, I don’t believe all the usual camel fuckers that frequent this place usually have to put up with this bollocks…. Fucking Unreal, Aldi’s customer service beats these fuckers hands down…..

Nominated by: Fuglyucker

101 Police Number

On Sunday me, mrs miserable, the dog were on our way out to a pub in the peaks.
Walk the dog, sunday dinner, and a few pints at the start of the Pennine way.
Missus is driving, and Infront of us is a pickup,
Hes got a half ton bag of gravel in the bed of the pickup and is swaying all over the fuckin place.
I told the missus to hang back a bit as he was obviously a knobhead.
Anyway he nearly hits a parked car swerves onto the other side of the road and smashes into a incoming car, and carries on driving!!
I tried all evening to phone the police as I had the cunts registration.
Left a voice mail, (never contacted me back)
At one point I got through but the cunt transferred me to a recorded message.
Its a waste of time!
101 is fuckin useless.
In the end I popped in a police station, they weren’t interested.
Should of said he was driving in a homophobic manner?

Nominated by: Miserable Northern Cunt

Gareth Wyn Jones

It appears that some people can dish it out but not take criticism back.

In this case, Gareth Wyn Jones is quite the celebrity in Wales, he’s a farmer who lives in the wilds of North Wales, but he also thinks the world owes him a living. He constantly mouths off about vegans (who I also incidentally despise), and on this occasion he criticised a vegan cafe for not serving non vegan food.

Now if you have a vegan cafe, that generally means that they cater for a small minority of people who are also vegans. But after goading the owners of the cafe, Gareth received some rather vile “death threats” from a nütter claiming to know the owners of said cafe. In the messages he threatened to “end his bloodline”.

Now this is truly awful and must NEVER be condoned, but I will say, if he kept his trap shut and not goaded these nûtcase cunts, he probably would not be on the receiving end of these hate filled messages.

So in summary if you’re going to wind up people, don’t be a thin skinned cunt when they bite back, you daft fucker!!!!

(I don’t know how to add a link but it was in the North Wales daily post)

(Saved from the bin by Miles who provided a link and a little tutorial about how to include links, then fucked up the link. I didn’t bin it just for the comedy value – NA)

Nominated by: Captain Quimson

Channel 4’s SAS: Who Dares Wins

Who Dares Wins

Never seen it but it needs cunting for virulent Islamophobia.

Fuck me, some link.

Anyway a muslim woman entered and was discriminated against.
The food wasnt Halal
She was called a Gym Bunny, apparently a racist term (??)
She didnt have muslim toilet facilities. I thought that was the left hand but perhaps a bidet was required.
She had to keep wet clothes on because, as a Muslim she couldnt strip them off in front of others.

We look up to the SAS and their ilk and all the time their training regime has been racist and Islamophobic. The scales have dropped from my eyes.
The cunts.

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

..and on the subject of C4, here’s this from Smugcunt

If your an over the hill comedian or a wanker with a tach or a bird with odd mishapen tits, how do you make money?

Easy get a program on Channel4 so you can have a Chateau, or a glamping load of bollocks paid for by mugs.

Channel 4 is corrupt!

It always has been!

It was created to remove vast amounts of money from tax payers into the pockets of a closed shop of producers with one view. Their programs are shit quality because the money goes one way.The Groucho club is a bent bunch of cunts controlling whats acceptable. (I think I’ll throw in the odd “allegedly” here – DA)

Never buy anything on this shit channel. Cunts.


Fruit Flavoured Beer

The backstory is that I bought some booze on a whim. Sounded alright, the blurb on the side made it sound a bit like Corona with lime in it.

A light beer with a slight citrus tang (sorry if I sound like the real ale twat from Viz).

A change is as good as a rest and all that.

The reality is it tastes like Grapefruit with a strange lager/grapefruit after-taste.

Drank one can.
The rest went down the drain.

£6 for the liberty of trying one and pouring the rest away.

If I want a tropical fruit drink, I’ll buy a can of Lilt.

Lesson learned.

Why did this become a thing?
Beer which is bitter to varying degrees, mixed with citrus fruit.

Corona with a slice of lime does work though.

I’ll stick with my favourites in future.

Nominated by: Harold