The next British government will be a cunt

Some might say he had the right idea! C.A.
Oh yes sirs it will. It doesn’t matter whether it is a Dame starman Labour government or a Risky shithat Tory one. It will be a total cunt. Useless and unfit to fulfil the wishes of even half half the population.

Now I am not being a prognostic soothsayer in making this proclamation but using history from the end of WW2 to the present to make this odds on prediction.

The last great government we had ended with Sir Winston Churchill’s election loss in 1945. Old Winston knew how to run a country without his leadership we would’ve lost to the Hun. He also knew of the dangers posed by Russia the Bear and the peaceful gang. Sadly none of those who have followed him have heeded his warnings.

Clemente Attlee was a terrible wasteful socialist and by increasing wages without productivity and increasing taxes and introducing the NHS (not a bad idea; but run badly from the start, and now a fucking waste of money on an biblical scale).

Churchill had a go at stopping the decline when he returned to office in 1951 but the rot had well and truly set in and he was an old and ill man and failed to achieve his governments manifesto. He was also stabbed in the back by his successors, whom all were tory wets, especially Eden.

Boy was this cunt a cluster fuck the Suez crisis lost Britain a lot of influence around the globe. Side note it would have been far worse without the Queen then a young woman smoothing many an international faux pas.

Three Tory PM’s after Churchill’s second stint in charge were as I say wet upper middle class tory wets. Appeasers.

Then we had the Huddersfield mathematician Wilson. He did try But during his reign the pound halved in value the old pipe smoking cunt had too many cabinet closet communists in his government to ever succeed Foot , Ben two obvious ones.

Heath another upper middle class self anointed one that had us working a three day week and part time electricity. FFS he should have met the miners half way soppy twat.

A brief period of stability then occurred during Mrs T’s turn at the helm. Though even the “Iron Lady” struggled with policy at the start and back stabbers at the end.

Then what the Grey man T Bliar, camacunt Boris, (thought he might have been better, but sadly too stupid not to get caught out on probably the most ridiculous ousting of a PM in all time..

No history shows that without a shadow of doubt that the next British Government will be a cunt.



Nominated by Everyonesacunt.

Adidas (2)


For fuck’s sake!

Even after the bud light and nike debacles, these daft three striped cunts are now using men to advertise women’s

This has royally pissed me off as i have always been rather partial to Adidas gear, especially their trainers.

Maybe i’ll buy Reebok trainers now as they are no longer owned by Adolf, or maybe his brother’s Puma

How can these companies be so thick?
It’s almost as if they can work out the financial hit and then decide the publicity, good or bad, is worth it.

If this trend keeps up and people stick to their principles, most of us will be reduced to walking around with a
fig leaf.

Thanks for educating me Adidas, fortunately i have alredy been educated, by a qualified biology teacher at school
and the real objective world outside.

Thought i would use a link containing the lovely miss hartley brewer (not just for the horn section!) and no she’s not
wearing the swimsuit, unfortunately.


Nominated by Polite Cunt.

The Gravlax cunt


We seem to be in another crisis, folks. It hit the stage in September 2022 and to this day, the cunt is still abusing UK households on a daily basis.

The advert is for 3 communications and is branded as : “life needs a big network.”

At first, this advert was just annoying. The stupid Wallace and gromit-esque gormless cunts expressions, his lispy weak chinned pronunciation, and the frequency of the advert. Nothing sinister just really annoying, but it will be OK: persevere and it will fuck off and be replaced by a more annoying advert 3 months later.

Fast forward to May and we have nearly had 3 financial quarters of this bullshit. Over the last 2 weeks I can’t escape the Gravlax cunt. I get him 3 times a day, across the TV, iCunt and mobile phone. It’s almost like I am being forced to have a homoerotic relationship with Mr Gravlax.

However, watching it under a different lens and I found another issue with it.

It’s the lack of ambition and aspirations that his mixed race in laws have… You know the score. Stupid honkey cannot order anything other than burger, chips and beans.

The 2 cunts are so impressed that he orders the Gravlax with such a solid conviction. Fantastic, now I’ve ordered a salmon dish, I’m good enough to bang your daughter… Cheers.

And of course they are right to question his lazy privileged honkey ways: the daft cunt doesn’t have a fucking clue what Gravlax is, and 3 has to step in and save him from his privilege colonising background.

I won’t let this get to me anymore… Now where did I put the lemon rind, white peppercorn and freshly picked dill sprigs…


Nominated by Cunt Executive Officer. A refreshingly original cunting CEO, C.A.

The Response To ‘Bullygate’

‘Oh no, those poor dogs!’ Oh no, the Met are horrible! Mark Rowley is Satan and Hitler rolled into one!’ ‘Justice for the two dogs killed by the Met!!!!!!’ Fuck off you whining cunts, the fact is the idiot owner allowed those two dogs to attack that woman’s dog. That means that, by definition, the dogs were out of control. The Met were incompetent and definitely overreacted but contrary to what these deranged ‘fur parents’ think they hardly acted in cold blood. This silly cult of worship surrounding dogs – and the outrage surrounding efforts to protect the public from dangerous ones – has got to stop.

Dogs Today Magazine Link.

Nominated by : OpinionatedCunt

Flies [4]

It’s that time of year. The thermometer in dear old Blighty has finally moved off “second ice age” and we have got a balmy 15degC or so. What happens? The cunting blue-bottles are out in force.

Where the fuck do they come from – I know it’s maggots, but where are the fuckers?

Are they fast asleep in my carpet, just waiting to emerge as fat, annoying bastards.

Either way, flies are cunts.

Nominated by : Lord Cuntingford

Assistance provided by : MMCM

A link on Calliphora Vomitoria to help this nom on its way –

Ugly fuckers and a complete pest.