Peter Hitchens describing plod as useless, not wrong C.A.

Have long puzzled at the lack of Old Bill when you need them. Rapid response times for traditional crimes? I hear you laugh – these days you have to post hurty words online to get that. Perhaps the thin blue line is now so stretched it has become invisible. So what does the policing of major events tell us. Eg the Ann Widdecombe murder. After the event the scene is crawling with Old Bill and their vehicles all standing prominently with arms akimbo in bright yellow high viz anti-stab gear. Poised in the act of nabbing villains or at least issuing parking tickets? Not really – they are posed under orders to reassure the public.

So stop quaking in your beds and be reassured people. Fear not the flood of perverts, psychos and career crims out on early release. Stop and share a joke with the latest grinning tableau of Old Bill at your local crime scene. Why not take a selfie with them. Capture for eternity all those flowers and cuddly toys and be reassured – Old Bill is at a photo opportunity near you.

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Nominated by Sir Limply Stroke.

Apparently, new guidelines are being put in place for television coverage of wimminz athletes.

Broadcasters are being advised on how to show more sympathetic angles of female competitors so as not to sexualise their movements. Because we all remember knocking one out over Fatima Whitbread, eh fellas? All joking aside, it’s apparently very serious and can lead to…Yep, you’ve got it.

“serious long-term effects on athlete’s mental health.”

Oh dear.

Well let me put your minds at rest my lovelies. I’ve yet to come across a single doable female track and field athlete, so I wouldn’t worry your ‘pretty’ little heads about it. If I want images of some young girl in her gym kit, I’ll ask one of my local park key taxi drivers.

BBC News?

Nominated by : Field Marshal Cuntgomery

Paul Powlesland is the leader of a group of volunteers called the River Roding Trust.

Futurism.com.

Over a 10-day period, they cleared 200 bags of rubbish from a creek called Alders Brook. The EA has now sent Paul a notice informing him that he is under investigation for ” permitting and waste offences “, which could result in a 2 year prison sentence, if successfully prosecuted.

The EAs main complaint appears to be that the dredging was significant enough that it constitutes a flood risk.

Let me get this right. Ignoring numerous requests over a period of years for a clean up, and allowing the dumping of billions of litres of sewage by Thames Water and waste by fly-tipping criminals didn’t constitute a flood risk, but a 10-day clean up by volunteers did?

It’s true that no good deed goes unpunished, isn’t it? Especially by jobsworthy cunts ( looking at you, EA ).

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

No shit, Sherlock!

Here’s a headline from BBC News that is either stunning in it’s naivety, or a fine example of how things are being dumbed down further and further on a daily basis .

bbcnews

Really, criminal gangs responsible for illegal dumping? There’s me thinking that it was all down to the vast army of DIY home improvers out there.

Who writes these headlines? Is it the night editors daughter, on work experience?

Unfortunately, this kind of thing is not only confined to the BBC news, some headlines I’ve seen recently, particularly by the Daily Suppress, are just as bad, or even worse.

There was one recently that read something like ” Burnham to close residents allotments ” , with the crowning of the new King looking fair to take place shortly, the implication was that Andy Burnham intends to take away the places we keep our whippets and pigeons.

Not so, it was referring to some place called Burnham on Sea.

It’s shabby, shoddy, lazy and downright deceitful. Do better!

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

is a cunt.

Yes, it’s probably been too hot for many of us but, by and large, we managed to cope.
But according to the BBC, the warm weather means death and destruction.
Not content with their recent claim that the weather was the cause of deaths to teenagers by drowning, they’ve now upped the ante considerably.
“More than 2,700 people may have died in exceptional May and June heatwaves in England and Wales”.
Well. Did they or didn’t they?
The article doesn’t have explicit post mortem evidence, but is based on non proven theory.
It gets even worse.
“UK heatwave to intensify in second week as wildfires burn across UK”.
Because vegetation naturally self combusts because of climate change and it has absolutely nothing to do with the possibility of discarded cigarettes or rogue bbq’s.
And finally, this utter drivel.
“Why heatwaves hit women harder”
So now it appears that the weather is sexist because wimminz have hormones and, as everybody knows, men don’t.
Fucking grow up you bunch of bedwetting cunts!

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Nominated by Field Marshal Cuntgomery.