Engine engineers LTD and Jamal Ahmed MANNAN


So the old war horse was getting a bit tired so what better than to give it a new lease of life with a reconditioned engine?

After trawling the internet and registering on various sites, the above mentioned popped up with a reasonable quote for an engine rebuild quoting a strip down and turn around in around 14days. So after receiving photos of my vehicle in bits an additional sum was demanded for spares (which is standard practice) but paid on the nail. Shortly afterwards further communication was received stating that one of the reconditioned parts was not up to par and needed re doing, but whilst they were doing so the gearbox and injection system needed attention?

At this point alarm bells rang as the injection system is regulated by the ECU that is currently not connected to the engine so rather a doubtful claim. A quick look at companies house and above mentioned has made a move to be struck off the register and wishes to cease trading whilst actively encouraging me to trade with him and extort money under the pretext of offering a warrantied product.

Next move is to get trading standards involved only you cant because they do not deal with the public anymore? You are required to go through some do gooder at the CAB, which to be honest I cant currently be arsed with. Likewise the police have farmed out fraud to “action fraud” a library of cunts and misery similar to this, so not much joy there.

So You sir are a cunt, not only have you taken my car, but you have taken my money and I am very displeased.

Nominated by : Lord Benny

Amazon’s Suggestions Algorithm


On March 6th, one Jeezum Priest posted on this site about a promotional mail he’d received from Amazon.

“Just had a marketing email from Amazon assuring me that I can find all my needs for Ramadan and Eid on their website”, he reported.

Only minutes after reading his post, I checked my own Amazon account about an overdue book.

(A 2000AD reprint, ffs), .. when the unasked-for ‘other books you might like’ suggestor ribbon threw at me …. a simplified/’simple english’ quran!!

I looked at it’s description. Not out of a modicum of positive interest, more a wtf? mixed with a ‘know your enemy’ notion.

The last line of the description finished with …. ‘to help you, the reader, find a commonality with 1.6 billion of your fellow human beings.

Not in a fucking million years is there anything in my online carrying-on in the last quarter century that should ever, EVER put such unadulterated shite in ‘my’ recommendations. And *I* will decide who my ‘fellows’ are, thank you very much, from the 8.2 billion people I would consider mostly cunts on this earth… and nary a single one of the 1.6 billion alluded to in the blurb is gonna get near the shortlist.

2 otherwisely unconnected gentlemen who post a bit on a niche site both being softly groomed for muzzie indoctrination in the space of an hour or two?

Something fucking stinks about that. Do the cunts reckon they have enough of a foothold to initiate the big push at this juncture? Anyone else on here being gently pressganged by Bezo’s software at all?

Nominated by : Cuntemall

The E.U. [6]


A nice cunting for those little penpushing wankers – the height of pomposity and self-importance, of overweening stupidity and delusion, who occasionally like to pretend they are making history when all they are doing is making an ineffectual noise. It looked ridiculous yesterday – Starmer and the rest of Europe with that daft looking Van Leyden woman, who looks like an alcoholic schoolmarm, who has just shat herself, getting together to discuss Ukraine with great war leader Zelensky, still in his fatigues, like Charlie Chaplin’s walking stick, a ridiculous overused prop. He must sleep in those clothes, a good job they are black as it hides the piss stains, for a war leader he spends a lot of time prancing round Europe, looking for photo-ops. Starmer and co looked like the Parish council at Little Widdling OnThe Green having their monthly chinwag, over weak tea and Rich Tea biscuits. Kweer Rodney looked like the treasurer, who spends his spare time as Choirmaster at St. Mandy’s, coaching the young boys to reach the highest notes and cottaging in the railway stations of nearby towns. All very little fish in a very big pool.

Britain, in particular, has no money to help the elderly or the vulnerable, and Rachel From Accounts is busy seeing how much more misery she can inflict with the help of Liz Kendall and Ed Miliband – to extract every last penny out of working people so they can support the illegal immigrants in their 4 star hotels and private health schemes for them.

But Europe as a whole is so deluded they think they can take on Russia and America – and win. They really should consult psychiatrists. Whatever you think of them, do they really believe Donald Trump and Putin give a fuck about what Europe “thinks”?. I imagine their view of the little minnows of the EU, is akin to what the bosses of Tesco think about Mr. Patel’s corner shop in Bradford. – nothing.

Like most of us, the USA and Russia probably regard the EU as a joke – an expensive joke sadly for it’s members and it is clear the toolmakers son is doing all he can to crawl back in bed with them and suck their collective dicks. Obese old men and frustrated flannel bloomered old virgins – that is the EU:

The Grauniad.

Nominated by : W. C. Boggs

Opal Fruits


My local Morrisons is selling the classic 70s fruit sweets, in their original packaging and their original flavours (Starburst my arse).

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love ’em. Always did.
But the wrappers are a pain in the arse.

The paper is stuck to each one, and opening them becomes a sticky and annoying mess. Opal Fruits. Made to make your hands sticky.🎵
(Bit like Mayfair & Penthouse then? – NA)

Mind you, they taste as good as ever. That lime one again after all these years.👍

Mars.com

Nominated by : Norman

Glastonbury [5]


Although it has scraped the barrel in recent years, the poshos cunt festival will plunge to new lows this year.

As Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Stone Roses and The Smiths have turned those Eavis cunts down yet again, Farquar and Jocasta will have to pay offensive amounts of money to watch something like a rock ‘n’ roll scrapyard.

Top of the bill? The nepo pussies and Greta-ite load of crap that is The 1975. Is this really the best they can do? I am no Oasis fan, but they tower over these cunts. Whatever our views on Oasis, they were massive. A festival is supposed to create a buzz of excitement. Hendrix, The Who, CSNY and Creedence at Woodstock. Or Dylan, The Doors, Free and Hendrix at the Isle of Wight. But, The 19 fucking 75?! One can imagine tumbleweed and a quiet whistling wind through a Western ghost town. I mean, for fuck’s sake. Is it the worst top billing of all time (after Stormzy, of course)?

And, the rest of the line up? The antique that is Neil Young. And a creaking croaking decrepit Rod Stewart. I have no doubt the upper and middle class tosspots and student bellends will not know one note of any classic Faces material, or anything off his first early 70s albums. Yet, they will think they are cool and postmodern as they sing along to ‘Da Ya Think I’m Sexy’ and ‘Sailing’. And I have no doubt that ‘The Killing of Georgie’ will be played to appease the LGBTQ Gestapo.

Needless to say, I hate ‘Glasto’ and all it stands for. But, even by is own dreadful standards, this year’s line up is the pits. And Alanis Morrissette as well? Jesus Horatio Hornblower H. Corbett Christ.

Glastonbury Festivals.co.uk.

Nominated by : Norman