Christmas in July

 

is a cunt.

Morrisons need a cunting.

They have barely got the Back to School merchandise on the shelves ( poor kids hadn’t even broken up for the Summer ), but at least they anticipated it two weeks before the Summer break started

But I’ve been to my local Morrisons today with Younger for our weekly shop, and was gobsmacked to see Christmas selection ‘boxes’ by the self-service checkouts.

I was even more astonished, when I took the basket back, to see a fucking chocolate Advent calendar for sale.

They haven’t even got the Halloween shite on display yet, but Santa has already made an appearance!

I think I’m going to have to boycott Morrisons. Cadburys chocolate is shite anyway, but to have it right by the tills in July, well, it’s a “No, No, No” from me, mate.

aol

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

Tavia Watts


“During the heatwave, I’ve got a high level of anxiety all the time and I’m pretty much useless,” she told the BBC. “I’ve had to leave bedtime when my husband reads [my kids] stories to have a little cry and to calm down, because it’s just too hot in their room and I’m afraid for them.”

Tavia has “Climate anxiety”… A 2022 study from the University of Bath estimates that about 4.6% of people in the UK have climate anxiety, which is recognised as a form of mental distress by professional bodies and the NHS. Young people and women are among the groups most at risk, according to a study published in 2025.

Tavia goes on,and on,to say”you can try to do something. I sign petitions during a heatwave; I organise climate community events; I run a free children’s clothes swap shop. During the last heatwave, I finally became vegetarian, because then I can tell my kids at least I tried.”

A Triumph of common sense indeed.

BBC News?

Nominated by : Unkle Terry

Posthumous Promotions

 

are a cunt.

Speaks for itself, really. I just spotted it for the 2nd time in a short while … and as per link rule am attaching the story, though NOT to belittle the dead woman… who was described as Sergeant so & so in the opening sentence in the link ; but died NOT ever having been referred to as ‘Sergeant’ while alive. So, what’s the point?

‘What a lovely gesture’, some cunts might proffer.

What a twee, easily distracted species, I’d counter.

Reading between the lines of the account of how she came to be ex-alive, I suspect there may not very much of ‘The Sarge’ in the pine box.

So this promotion, then. Just a variation of using ‘passed away’ in lieu of ‘dead’ so everyone involved feels a little better? .. Like how what used to be called ‘death notices’ in local papers are now called ‘family notices’.

Keys-jangling for the lesser-thinking?

Anyways. Surely this nommed behaviour is only an army thing. Wouldn’t it look silly if some assistant manager at a McDonalds choked to death on a Big Mac, and they posthumously promoted him or her to ‘manager’ before the funeral?

Odd.

cbsnews

Nominated by Cuntemall.

American Fast Food Lettuce


“US fast-food chain Taco Bell is removing lettuce from its menu in some states after investigations found it could be linked to an outbreak of explosive diarrhoea caused by a parasite”

I’ve never liked lettuce and can’t see the point of it,furthermore I’ve always suspected that it causes the shits and luckily the boffins at Taco Bell Laboratories have proved me right,again.

“Do not eat food items with shredded iceberg lettuce from Mexico served at Taco Bell locations in Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, Ohio, and West Virginia,” the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) said..

Which just goes to show lettuce,particularly Yank lettuce,which appears to be from Mexico thus adding to the problem,is a cunt.

Although the evils of lettuce have only recently been proven by the eminent scientists at Taco Bell,we should all be grateful for their pioneering work in this dangerous field.

I’ve also heard rumours that some kebabs have lettuce in them but Taco Bell have so far been silent on whether this can also cause explosive diarrhea.

BBC News?

Any suggestion that lettuce has caused Lord Siddique Khan to look like he has just been dug up has been refuted the Green Party.

Be On Your Guard.

Nominated by : Unkle Terry

Trampolines in gardens

 

are a cunts for cunts.

common isn’t it?
if your kids/ grandkids have a trampoline in the garden then they probably also have nits.

As well as screaming hey we’re chavvy as fuck
they’re dangerous.

100,000 accidents in A&E are tramp-o-line related.
I’m not arsed about that,
find it funny,
no, I’m concerned with how
‘council estate ‘ it is.

plant a tasteful flower bed
have a pond and water feature
show some taste.
Let little Teagan and Chardonnay burn off their ADHD in some state sponsored kids gym.

ps dont get me started on bouncy castles.
vulgar.

youtube

Nominated by Miserable Northern Cunt.