“Raising Awareness” Campaigns

The excellent rule of thumb when dealing with most issues nowadays is Cui Bono? Who benefits? Not the people these campaigns claim to ‘help’.

Everybody with a working set of genitals and more than 2 braincells knows you can’t go banging random slappers without running the risk of unwanted pregnancies, clap or the AIDS. I am already aware of those facts. I do not need some patronising, dungaree-wearing, lezzer-looking munter with a Hitler haircut and a Government non-job to tell me it’s a bit risky.

AIDS awareness? If you play ringpiece-roulette long enough, sooner or later you’re gonna get a double zero.

Knife crime awareness? I’m sure the victims of this menace are more than aware of the dangers of Leeroy waving a Rambo knife in their faces as he demands reparations for colonialism. Those that think mugging and gang war are a rather unsavoury way of earning a living already choose not to carry a knife. No awareness is needed. Those that do carry knives will stick your awareness up your arse, right before they slice you up and take your cash.

Sickle cell anæmia awareness. Why do I need to be aware of a disease I can never suffer from?

Rainbow laces, multi-coloured ribbons, plastic wristbands, scholarships, bursaries, grants, techni-coloured flags, leaflets, ad campaigns, charidees and so on … and on and on.

Aside from the Government cultivating and nurturing a constant climate of fear, guilt and virtue signalling, there are an enormous number of organizations and individuals that benefit financially from this bullshit.

How about a ‘Mind your own business, get your hand off my wallet, your claptrap out of my earshot and go and fuck yourself’ awareness day?

The Atlantic News Link

Nominated by: Termujin

Women’s Football Inequality

Women footballers find kicking a mens ball and playing in mens footbal boots a bit too much for their feminine bodies……apparently.


You will note, this story has been somewhat ‘hidden’ in the lesser viewed health section of the BBC website, rather than also appearing on the more regularly visited sports pages.

Apparently womens football wants to be some much more inclusive to compete with the mens game, that not only to they want to compete seperately in different leagues and tournaments….and only with other women in a team- they are now suggesting they should play with a beach ball and in slippers, so they don’t hurt their- quite obviously unequal to men- bodies.

Equality when it suits…. eh ladies??

Nominated by : Chuff Chugger

The Ubiquitous Martin Lewis (5)

Martin Lewis and news reporting.

I am sick of seeing this man’s face. It seems like 4 or 5 out of 10 online news stories are about our Martin.

Daily Record Link

Don’t get me wrong. He does try hard to steer people in the right direction, regarding getting a pound or so out of the fat cats. Indeed, his bank switching advice has netting me over £2k, which I’ve spent on booze and party nibbles, but for the sake of my sanity Martin , take a long holiday somewhere obscure.

Sun News Link

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

Doctors Playing God

The first rule of medicine is do no harm, now for some reason this has gone over the head of our esteemed NHS.

A number of years ago I was diagnosed with PADs (PAD Terminology – Day Admin) which if you check on lower limb you will find it is inoperable, bit of a bastard but fuck it that’s life.

So to add to it I was hit with a DVT (DVT Terminology – Day Admin) in the same limb, given a paracetamol by the nice chap at AE and told to fuck off.

Obviously things got worse and I ended up being referred to a consultant who said that they could do better. A bypass he said!

Now I am thinking fuck me, NICE guidelines say that this is not possible, but as the man says “things have moved on” and I went for it.

So after a rather extreme operation where spare parts were stripped from one leg and put in the other, I woke to have a pulse in my leg, first time in 4 years, truly a miracle of modern science!

it lasted 3 days, next thing you know I am writhing in agony as the transplant fails, they tap pencils on their teeth and decide whether to re intervene or not, decide they will go for it and then cancel at the last minuet saying that the chances of the graph blocking again is too high so they wont do it.

Now for the fucking punch line, the consultant (some twatty hospital one) says, well we have tried and I am afraid there has been no change, you are back where you are.

At this point I am supposed to say “Well thank you doctor I know you tried your best” apart from I didn’t.

Now I have just r-eread Nice guidelines, and it has been updated in 2020 so things have changed, stents are ok and bypass is ok, where as they were not before.

Thing is I was not the only one, there were 3 of us who failed last week, so that is 3 of us who now have two fucked legs each, we have lost mobility to these actions.

Stop playing god and sort your shit out.

Nominated by: lord benny(not quite deceased, but close)

Office Workers and Loud Cunts and their Phones

Have been spending the last few days working at a customer-site sorting out some of their IT infrastructure, most of which needs some serious upgrading.

Anyway, during my time there I could not help but notice that a lot of the staff were pissing about on their phones and tablets rather than focusing on what they’re paid to be doing (it’s a credit ratings agency of about 70 employees).

Because their datacentre has glass panelling, I can see right into their main office of about 30 people and most of them were fucking about on their phones, standing around by colleague’s desks taking selfies and constantly staring at their phones.

There is no adjoining offices for the bosses, but if they saw what I was seeing they would be giving their entire team a right royal bollocking (unless they themselves were tap, tap, tapping away on their own devices)

This isn’t the first time I’ve been to customer sites and seen similar activity. It wouldn’t be quite so bad if it was during a tea/lunch break, but quite a few people are quite brazen about it.

Such low productivity seems to be de rigueur these days and is it any wonder a lot of cunts still want to work from home!

Therefore, when you’re trying to contact customer services by phone, this is what they’re probably doing while your 76th in the fucking queue.

Nominated by: Technocunt

And speaking of cunts on phones, here’s another from Captain Magnanimous

People who talk into their mobiles on loud speaker are cunts, aren’t they.

Furthermore, if you hold the phone at an angle to speak into the bottom to seem like you’re important, you achieve bonus cunt points.

If you do this, you probably have a man-bun. You might even have a circle beard. You definitely vape. You could also be one of those crass mothers in a dressing-gown dropping the brat off at school. Alternatively, you might be a mortgage broker attempting to seem important. You definitely wear Crocs.

They probably brush their teeth before eating breakfast.

These people are crass idiots. Why do I not only have to hear your mundane, inarticulate opinion, but also your equally banal, fuckwit mate’s response? If only the airbag would open whilst you did this driving and scatter your wretched teeth around the car.

You look like a cunt shouting into a piece of toast.