are cunts.

We all know it’s difficult to get a dentist appointment and going private is jolly expensive so many people, in search of those bright white teeth seen on “celebrities” such as has been Simon Cowell etc now regularly jet off abroad for cut price cosmetic dentistry.

Alas, sometimes it doesn’t go very well..

As in the case of one Leanne Abeyance who says she “wants to chop her head off and start again”, after the operation led her nose to collapse and a life of constant pain..

Luckily a head transplant wasn’t available as Ms Abeyance burdened Guys Hospital with an implant removal operation.

Furthermore…She had started using a prosthetic nose but had to stop after suffering an allergic reaction.

Whoops.

“Abeyance admits that she probably should have waited for reconstructive surgery instead of opting for a prosthetic nose.”

So in summary she’s now a morphine addicted hermit without a nose and likely a burden to the Nanny State for life.

bbcnews

Nominated by Unkle Terry.

are cunts.

I haven’t cunted for a while, as been busy with work. However, that period is coming to an end and I thought I would look around and see if I could find some part-time work to keep me during my impending retirement. Not looking for much, few days a week doing some nonsense. Easy peasy I thought – someone must need an old git who can still do some half decent maths and English. Obviously I haven’t dipped into the world of work for a while.

Oh dear and fuckity-fuck – what a bunch of cunts the whole job hunting thing is and, especially, agents and agencies. I saw a part-time job at a local college – basically baby sitting students. Ideal I thought – I’ll just send my cv in and Bob’s your uncle (or dad or sister here in Norfolk). How wrong I could be: you have to apply through n agency. Have to register with all sorts of details, then this common as muck slag calls me – all matey and smarmy. She then sends me some crap form to fill in online. IT went on for ever, had to watch shit videos about safeguarding, and prevent and FGM and….well, I lost the will to live. And then I finally got to the last page and it wants two references from recent work – FFS, I’ve spent 25 years self-employed. I don’t have any references from previous “employers” because I have employed myself! So I sent said slag an email – needless to say they can’t be arsed to reply.

How the fuck anyone gets a job nowadays I don’t know. I’m going to go to doc and say I’m depressed and get PIP – it will be a damn-sight simpler.

bbcnews

Nominated by Lord Cuntingford.

Can be cunts.

Being nosey like all women, the wife can’t resist peering over my shoulder when I’m at my laptop, just to see what I’m actually looking at. So she just caught me again, pouring over images of, er, Rachel Reeves. ‘Christ’ says she, ‘you’re weird, you’ (which is good, coming from the woman who gets hot under the collar watching that cunt Monty Don polishing his prize cucumber on ‘Gardener’s World’).

In all honesty however, I have to admit that she’s not wrong. The fact is, I hate Rachel Reeves the Labour politician and all she stands for, on top of which, she has to be the most useless Chancellor of the Exchequer of all time. The problem is that in spite of that, and in spite of the fact that she’s absolutely no looker, I find her as sexy as fuck; don’t ask me why, I just do. I reckon that he’s hotter than a navvy’s armpit.

It’s a strange attraction right enough, and I can’t explain it. I was seriously thinking of cunting myself for this perversion, but then I started to wonder whether such a taste was actually all that odd. For instance, my pal Big Al once owned up that he ‘wouldn’t say no’ to Nicola Sturgeon (yes, I know). Then there’s a very old female friend of mine who admitted (as we were on our third bottle of wine) that pug-ugly Geordie lad Jimmy Nail would be in luck if the chance ever presented itself. ‘Bloody hell, he’s really rough’ I said. ‘Yes’ she replied, licking her lips lasciviously; ‘really rough in an Armani suit’. Then there’s another old friend of mine who owned to fancying (get this) Gordon fucking Brown. ‘I want to be re-incarnated as his underpants’ she admitted, and she wasn’t joking; honestly, I kid you not.

So I’m wondering if I am indeed odd, or pretty much the same as everybody else. Are strange attractions a cunt? Come on cunters, what do you think, and who will you own up to having a weird hard-on for, under cover of the anonymity of IsAC? Tell your Uncle Ron all.

bing

Nominated by Ron Knee.

is a cunt.

A Liebor Councillor sitting on Oxfordshire Country Council has apparently “sparked outrage after she urged police to “lie in wait and nab the b*******” responsible for attaching Union flags to lampposts.

The comments from Susanna Pressel came during an Oxfordshire County Council briefing on January 6.”..

Union flags have since appeared on the street where Ms Pressel lives.

Speaking on Wednesday, the councillor condemned those responsible, describing the flags as “racist” and “intimidating”.

Indeed…unfortunately not everyone is a wóg loving traitor Susanna,so please do expect the Union Jack to fly over your street for the foreseeable.

GB news

Dear me,what a cunt.

Nominated by Unkle Terry.

is a cunt.

the irony of this warmongering lying cunt is now in charge of negotiating a ‘peace’ deal in gaza.

peace is the last word I would use when referring to Blair…..having drawn the UK into the middle east sand dwellers arguments with the non existent weapons of mass destruction bollocks, and then his and browns ‘open doors’ immigration policy which has resulted in the shithole the UK has become today, he is now put in charge of peace……..after stoking the coals in the middle east previously.

a cunt for bringing the UK to its knees and turning us into a third world country, whilst being promote as a peace envoy. maybe as there’s so few raggies left in the middle east he could negotiate for us lot to fuck off over there. seems safer than London.

bbcnews

Nominated by Chuff chugger.