Fellow cunters, just to warn you that you only have until 5pm, Friday 25th September to preregister for your tickets for Glastonbury 2027.

I’m sure you all missed the event of the year tremendously, and are looking forward to attending next year at a mere £408 (+ postage ) per person.

Glastonbury Festival.

Your ticket price includes use of the designated camping areas, so you can buy a cheap tent from Lidl and leave it behind, as usual, for someone else to dispose of, along with all the rest of your rubbish, as usual.
However, campers and caravans will incur an additional charge of between £225 and £300 depending on size. Book early to avoid disappointment, spaces are limited.

Oh, the anticipation and excitement!
Who will perform? Who will headline?
Will you have heard of them, ever?

Will Hollow Wobbletits and Clairol Voldemort make their usual pilgrimage to worship at the alter of celebrity?

I can hardly wait…for the inevitable sad tale of how some muppets with more money than sense got ripped off!

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

Cats, annoying furry cunts need a cunting.

Spend a bastard fortune on their favourite treats for them to then start giving it “I don’t like it” like the guy in a wheelchair off Little Britain.

Buy em a scratching post, yeah they use it then decide the furniture or bed needs to be a scratching post.

Lie in, like fuck they descend purring and demanding feeding like illegal gimmegrants arriving in Portsmouth. Get fed then disappear as fast as said illegal folk avoiding the Home Office.

Carry on I’ll be donating them as fast food for some dodgy dingy wallahs fast food emporium.

New Scientist (Link provided by Unkle Terry)

Nominated by : Paul Goddard

“The alarm wakes you with a shock, the summer holiday is over and it’s time to face that inbox full of unread emails.

This time last week, life was very different. You enjoyed late nights, lazy mornings balancing family fun and you time.

Even if you enjoy your job, the transition from holiday to work can be hard, particularly in September as the days begin to shorten.”..

Luckily our State Broadcaster has some handy tips on how to avoid this catastrophe,and it’s not by resigning and living on the dole..

“Tara Humphrey, a primary care leadership consultant, advocates keeping her out-of-office on for her first day back.

“It’s about hiding, if you can, just to give yourself that bit of headspace.”

Very nice.

“It is not just the holiday itself that makes them so enjoyable and beneficial, the anticipation of going also plays a key role, says Dr Mark Williamson, chief executive officer of Action for Happiness, a charity.

And what type of holiday or how long you go for can make a difference to the overall impact.

Williamson points to what he says is “genuinely surprising” research , externalwhich suggests physically active holidays may be better for wellbeing than simply lying by the pool.”

Chief executive officer of Action for Happiness,a charity unsurprisingly..thanks for that and thanks to our BBC where nobody does fuck all of any importance.

Cloud cuckoo land cuntery from a world leader in it.

P45 Oven.

BBC News?

Nominated by : Unkle Terry

This local authority is in debt,no surprise of course,every council has stacked up the overdraft on vanity projects and assorted rubbish.. but

Woking is in debt to the tune of over two billion pounds.

Two billion.

Who has oversight of this lunacy?

Why is everything rubber stamped by paper shuffling cunts ?

Why the fuck is every last corner of govt bureaucracy completely out of control?

Two cunting billion.

That’s a whole new carriage on the Gravy Train,all aboard..

https://woking-corruption.uk/

Nominated by : Unkle Terry

A quick waterlogged cunting for the incessant shit shovelling of the frogs and our own Border Farce holding hands with the RNLI.

This cunting isn’t so much about the well worn disaster that is an open border and open taxpayer credit card for wógs..

It’s about the entirely organised,casual and very very expensive transfer of human trash between France and England..

“Around 140 migrants in a single dinghy have been rescued in the English Channel.

The people on the inflatable vessel, which launched from the Normandy coast overnight, requested help in UK waters and were picked up by two RNLI boats, the French coastguard said. They will now be taken to shore in the UK.”

How comfy for all concerned.

“The dinghy launched in Bay of the Seine and was shadowed for around 10 hours by French rescue boats in case it got into difficulty. The French coastguard said it was not safe to attempt to stop the dinghy on water.

It reached UK waters at lunchtime and the people on board were met by lifeboats from Bembridge and Yarmouth.

French authorities said it was unusual for the migrant boat to depart from the area – 170 miles away from the usual launches around Calais making the crossing to the UK significantly longer.”

How pleasingly convenient for all concerned.

A well-oiled machine indeed.

bbcnews

Nominated by Unkle Terry.