Have I got News for You (4)

 

is a cunt .and why it won’t be around in the next 18 months or so.

HIGNFY….used to be a staple diet for me on a Friday evening many years ago…I even went to a recording of it when the London studios were a thing and Eddie izzard was the guest captain as Merton couldn’t make it for some reason. This is the time when Izzard was (for me anyway) A. very funny, and B a man who just liked wearing a bit of lippy.

Now, though it would seem it’s days are numbered. A few years ago the BBC brought out a rules that said panel games must include at least one woman….funny or not, they had to be there. Start of the decline IMO.

Now, this week we have had a report whereby 2 (yes, just two) viewers were in some way offended that Victoria Beckham was potentially being referred to as a cunt by the host of HIGNFY….that unfunny cunt Katherine Ryan. She never mentioned it directly, but merely inferred it.

Too much clutching of the pearl necklaces for two viewers who complained, and was upheld……..back in the day HIGNFY was far more cutting edge and no one complained. Tub of lard…anyone? Ripping the shit out of Boris, Ken Livingstone…it all went on, and that was for the better of the show. Now, though the sensitive cunts who watch get offended that Ryan may think Beckham may be it bit of a cunt. The BBC should grow a pair and tell them to fuck off, but I dare say the two complaints were from two employees, so the BBC can use them as an excuse to kill it off. It’s all gone a bit woke in recent years anyway.

bbcnews

Nominated by Chuff Chugger.

Dormeo Octasmart Memory Fresh Mattress Topper



 

Is a cunt, probably though I haven’t a clue what Sir limply is cunting C.A.

The Dormeo Octasmart Memory Fresh Mattress Topper

These foam replacement mattresses have been punted around for a decade or two mainly on the telly and the proposition usually includes a fifty day money back guarantee and a running permanent discount. No I take that back – a special online offer now includes a 200 day sleep trial – if you don’t like it return it ….so how does that work? Ah well it is very well hidden in the blurb but the punter has to pay return carriage of £45 and the mattress must be as new and in its original packaging. If the mattress is accepted then the carriage is deducted from the lucre you have paid before you get your money back.

Now on to online reviews. As has happened to an old character of my acquaintance it appears that Dormeo or their agents do not sterilise the returned bedding before reselling it hence the tight coiled black pubic hairs embedded in his cover. Nice.
A typical review from TrustPilot
May 10, 2026. Note the recycling.

“I just this product but it on a bed i definitely not the bestt…
I just this product but it on a bed it was fine after a few weeks of using it noticed mattress and pillow started to come apart had a look inside both and was disgusted to see that was made up bits of old material the mattress springs if you can call them that were degraded and not looking that good the pillow was just full of bits and material left over definitely would never use or buy again”

trust pilot

Nominated by Sir Limply stroke link Unkle Terry.

Carefully Hidden Racism in Alternative Music


“Growing up in Wolverhampton, Stephanie Phillips says she was initially pretty much into the same chart music as her friends.

But alongside TLC, Aaliyah and Destiny’s Child, she developed a passion for rock, indie and punk.

“It was music that meant a lot to me as someone who was very shy and needed an outlet,” she said. Yet she felt compelled to keep that passion hidden.

“There was always this idea that black people weren’t really into alternative music, or punk,” the musician, journalist and author told the BBC.

“When I first got into alternative music I felt like I was betraying my race, and had to keep my love of rock practically secret,” she writes in her new book.”

“Black recalled that a famous 1980 photograph of her alongside Debbie Harry, Poly Styrene of X-Ray Spex and other leading female artists, featured on the cover of New Music News magazine, was billed as representing “the women in rock”.

“And I suppose they needed a couple of black women in there as well,” she said.

“But it was interesting they couldn’t put one woman on the cover.”…

Even today, Phillips argues black artists were often forgotten, overlooked or deliberately excluded.

She cites Nova Twins, who took out a bank loan to record their debut album which received rave reviews but they still struggled to find a label, she said.

The issue is personal, she added, recalling the challenges of securing support for Big Joanie’s early releases.

“You do have to work harder. It can be exhausting.”…

Yes it’s vital that this immense conspiracy to suppress blek music is exposed and artistes compensated for this hideous outrage..

Or maybe it’s all in your head luv because you are a mental and your music was shit?

BBC News?

Nominated by : Unkle Terry

Treasure Island TV Series


The blacks hate our culture but the darn jam spoons just can’t stop appropriating it. They have g*llied up everything from Tudor England to Regency London and now its the turn of Long John Silver, the iconic pirate from Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island.

I was expecting to see the BBC’s sticky fingers over this but its a joint shit show from MGM+ and Paramount+ casting David Oyelowo as Long John Silver. This is the 18th century for Christs sake, shouldn’t he have been on a plantation somewhere not plundering booty? In my opinion once you have a main character who sounds like a Yardie and more at home robbing smartphones in London on an E-scooter with a zombie knife the rest becomes irrelevant no matter how good it is.

You very rarely if ever get this historical vandalism from other races. A Chinese English pirate? Oh herro, Rong John Silver here, you wanna flies? Ridiculous. Why do they have to shoehorn themselves in to other peoples history? Is it because their own is nothing but one long whine about ‘muh slavery’

Robinson Crusoe will be next or should that be Robertson Crusoe, with Idris Elba and his race-swap Man Friday played by Benedict Cumberknob.

YouTube.

Nominated by : Liberal Liquidator

Special assistance at airports

 

A cunt or not a cunt?

Some while ago I cunted getting trough airports for the many different stages which passengers had to go through, horrendous queues, Diego cops, facial recognition finger printing and a several mile walk carrying the same weight as a SAS Bergen in the Brecon Beacons on their selection March.

I was sick of it and decided that I to would allow some person to wheel me in a chair through all said obstacle’s and allow Mrs E/C to carry the afore mentioned Bergen or pack less fucking weight.

I wrote on here that it went well breezing through checkpoint Charlie and all the other ones involved, sometimes skipping the eye recognition and finger print stages altogether just because I put on a gormless face, dribbled from my mouth and used an inhaler.

A few weeks ago I buggered off to the canary islands for a post summer holiday. Did the wheeze work as well?
Our plane was delayed for half and hour because of the large number of assisted travellers on board. Oh dear. Biggles then made up the time by burning up more fuel and speeding, the naughty boy.

On arrival at EMA a woman collected me and wheeled me to the meet and greet parking lot and then onto my car. What a woman. 10/10
Thank goodness she fucked off before I opened the boot where my golf clubs where lain. So yes I’m a cunt but assisted travel is brill.

Nominated by Everyonesacunt.