Although it has scraped the barrel in recent years, the poshos cunt festival will plunge to new lows this year.

As Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Stone Roses and The Smiths have turned those Eavis cunts down yet again, Farquar and Jocasta will have to pay offensive amounts of money to watch something like a rock ‘n’ roll scrapyard.

Top of the bill? The nepo pussies and Greta-ite load of crap that is The 1975. Is this really the best they can do? I am no Oasis fan, but they tower over these cunts. Whatever our views on Oasis, they were massive. A festival is supposed to create a buzz of excitement. Hendrix, The Who, CSNY and Creedence at Woodstock. Or Dylan, The Doors, Free and Hendrix at the Isle of Wight. But, The 19 fucking 75?! One can imagine tumbleweed and a quiet whistling wind through a Western ghost town. I mean, for fuck’s sake. Is it the worst top billing of all time (after Stormzy, of course)?

And, the rest of the line up? The antique that is Neil Young. And a creaking croaking decrepit Rod Stewart. I have no doubt the upper and middle class tosspots and student bellends will not know one note of any classic Faces material, or anything off his first early 70s albums. Yet, they will think they are cool and postmodern as they sing along to ‘Da Ya Think I’m Sexy’ and ‘Sailing’. And I have no doubt that ‘The Killing of Georgie’ will be played to appease the LGBTQ Gestapo.

Needless to say, I hate ‘Glasto’ and all it stands for. But, even by is own dreadful standards, this year’s line up is the pits. And Alanis Morrissette as well? Jesus Horatio Hornblower H. Corbett Christ.

Glastonbury Festivals.co.uk.

Nominated by : Norman

The pure brass of the Labour party has been caught with her knickers down again – not this time to insert her jiggle balls and dildo, but, like so many others in that abomination of a political party, she has been lying about her work prior to her glittering political career. Not for her pretend soliciting, like that derelict Jonathan Reynolds, or pretending she was a “trained economist”. No, our Ange likes to do things the Kweer way, and play down her achievements, like Uriah Heep on an especially helpful day. She has always liked to give the she was a “home help”, no doubt to back up her claims that she was a poor but honest unmarried mother at 16, trying to earn an honest crust, wiping old ladies bums and putting the Mr. Sheen round the old dears commode (like Auntie Kweer picking up stones on a farm). In fact she was a Unison official (agitator?) and was sitting on her arse all day no doubt earning far more than the pittance that is the lot of a genuine home help.

Can nobody in that decrepit party ever tell the truth about anything?:

Guido

Nominated by W C Boggs.

American statesman Benjamin Franklin is credited with the statement that ‘in this world nothing can said to be certain, except death and taxes’. Ain’t that the truth.

This morning that latter excresence intruded into my life once more, in the form of a communication from HR Revenue & Customs which kindly informed me of my income tax coding for financial year 2025-26. As cunters will imagine, I’d been awaiting this document with a mounting sense of apathy for months.

This is routine crap from the tax man, the sort of bureaucracy we all have to put with in learning just how much of our money is going to be syphoned off this time to keep illegal immigrants and benefit loungers in the manner to which they’ve become accustomed. It’s inevitable, I shouldn’t get worked up.

I shouldn’t have got worked up, but I did, and what caused this to happen was the legend inscribed on the cheap and nasty brown envelope, which stated ‘your tax service-here to support’. Now the word ‘service’ is defined as follows; ‘the action of helping or doing work for someone’. That’s right people; the Revenue’s now a ‘service’ that’s here to help and support you as it takes your cash.

This all makes me feel so much better, knowing that the Revenue’s got my interests and welfare at heart. I’m sure it’ll make you feel a lot better too when you see YOUR cash taken and poured down the drain of net zero, foreign aid, and migrant hotels. And the REALLY great news is that only death can free you from it. Be happy; the taxman’s here and he’s on your side.

Nominated by : Ron Knee

Just to prove there are no depths that the Labour party won’t stoop to grovel to the Muslim “coomoonitee” in the UK, along comes along the MP for Luton = well known for it’s diversity, a silly tart called Sarah Owen, half Chinky (which half I don’t know). Quite recently we read about a Muslim woman convicted criminal who was quite upset because her police mug shot showed her without her veil. She was so offended the police obliged and issued a new one with the gob coverer.

Well pour Sarah has had a ripping wheeze – she wants to make it a criminal offence to take a photo of a Muslim woman minus covering, without her consent:

Daily Fail.

How much more will Labourites stick their noses up the arse of Islam?

Nominated by : W. C. Boggs