If you are going to write a song or make a film involving simple science, at least get the fucking facts right. You might argue this is a somewhat pedantic cunting, but it`s just plain irritating.

Here are 3 embarrassing examples …

Film: The Wizard of Oz
[After the Wizard gives the Scarecrow his diploma, he says,] “The sum of the square roots of any 2 sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.”
■ I would suggest the diploma awarding body needs investigating and the qualification withdrawn.
(The actual formula relates to a right angled triangle. Furthermore, the formula, as stated by our old mate Pythagoras, says the sum of the squares of the lengths of the two shorter sides equals the square of the hypotenuse (the longest side). Not the square roots and not an isosceles triangle. You’re welcome – NA)

Film: The Shawshank Redemption
… Andy is crawling through the sewage pipe, Red, in his narration says that he crawled through 500 yards to the end of the pipe … “just shy of a half mile”.
■ Yep, about 380 yards just shy.

Song: 9 Million Bicycles …
“We are 12 billion light years from the edge”; although to be fair, Katie Melua did issue an amendment …

YouTube.

Bonus: Anything that gushes out of Diane Abbotts mouth connected with numbers. Or anything else, for that matter.

Over to you cunters …

Nominated by : Sam Beau

A nom for ‘Insomnia and deaf signing’.

Being an insomniac and only ever sleeping five-ish hours, I often find myself awake at 5am and, not having to leave for work until 6:30 have an hour or so to kill.

If you watch an otherwise regular program at that time of the day, there’s often a sign language person intruding over about a sixth of the screen. What irrirates the fuck out of me is not the signing, it’s the unnecessarily mọngy facial expressions they always pull. They look like Harvey Price eating his dinner and presumably they’re flinging saliva this way and that.

Stop gurning and get off the screen…subtitles are available for a reason.

Nominated by : Thomas the Cunt Engine

Hi everyone, I want to cunt Tyce Erickson, another weapon crazed yank cunt, this cocksucker kills a Kodiak bear because he has a small cock and thinks he is a hard man, I bet the cunt would be different in 30 feet of sea with a thresher shark or bull shark, another mentally ill cunt who needs removing from the planet, as ricky Gervais once said, if you kill animals for pleasure, you are a cunt, I rest my case..link provided.

“Hunter poses with enormous, 1,000lbs Kodiak Island bear in Alaska and reveals how he fought off the ‘charging’ beast | Daily Mail Online”

Daily Fail

Nominated by Sidthesexistsforeskin.

Only a few days into the Starmer administration (five as I write) and the pansy/Commie word jugglers of New New Labour are already it. Flabby bottomed Rachel Reeves, she of the shiny slacks and costermonger voice, waddled into her “big speech” yesterday, declaring she was ripping up the planning rules in order to build more houses to house the many gimmigrants who arrive here via the RNLI taxi service. Suddenly to not look quite the ignorant philistine arsehole she really is, she has painted the greenbelt grey so that any hint of greenery in our filthy overcrowded towns can be torn down, and blocks of flats built for the scum that they intend to import more of.

I have little doubt this subterfuge came not from her, or Dame Kweer, (they have barely a brain cell to rub together) but is yet another of the tricks of Anthony Blair and his duckie friend Mandy. It has their intellectual dishonesty marked all over it, like the shitstains on AnalEase Dodd’s bloomers:

bbcnews

Nominated by W C Boggs.

I used to have a soft spot (well, actually not so soft if I’m honest) for Carol. She always struck me as a proper lass, someone you could have a drink, a flirt and a laugh with down the pub.

This last year or so however, she seems to have mutated into a ranting gobshite masquerading as a ‘political commentor’. It’s not an attractive sight, and it’s pretty boring to boot.

Of course you’re entitled to your opinion ducks, but honestly, your political ‘insights’ are shallow and your demeanour is both unpleasant and vindictive. Do us all a favour love, and stick to doing what you do best; that’s flashing your arse for the tabloids instead of talking out of it.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Ron Knee.