This afternoon reminded me of the reason i don’t really enjoy a buffet or spread, even with family.
Unfortunately my brother is prone to sniffles and sneezes over anything, my foghorn sister-in-law coughs loudly and obnoxiously (there is very little she does that isn’t obnoxious) and my dad coughs, sneezes and splutters over anything with a kick, be it white pepper, horseradish, mustard or chilli.
I decided I’d had my fill after a plate of this weekend’s offerings after the family had been in the kitchen, coughing, spluttering and sneezing.
No dessert thanks. I don’t care how nice it would’ve been, or that I paid for half the food. it’s now covered in droplets of sputum.
As the relatives on my dad’s side are all quite greedy (they have always been keen groakers at family meals), i wonder if it is a way of marking the food they intend on ingesting later in the evening. All I can say about it is it’s fucking disgusting, and the main reason i never use buffets in restaurants.
It also seems those who use the buffet, particularly those who frequent AYCE emporia/barns on the outskirts of large provincial towns are malnourished members of the underclass, strangers to green coloured food (they probably eat more blue food than green – wonder if there’s a ratio of green to blue for fat cunts on mobility scooters NHS dieticians have developed) and thus prone to coughing, spluttering and sneezing from a lack of vitamins, and in turn, infect each other via ladles of lurid sludge steeped in MSG.
Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime