Jamie Oliver

Jamie Oliver

Cunt. Every fucking recipe I’ve followed of this jumped up little shit turns out as a disaster. Roasted a whole topside beef following this thunder cunt’s recipe. The outcome of the recipe was a topside beef that was drier than an 80 year old nun’s snatch. Waste of cunting time and money. His gravy recipe to accompany the disaster turned out like diarrhoea after drinking a dodgy pint of Guinness the night before. It had been soaked in the pool of excrement to even make it chew-able. Turns out it wasn’t chew-able enough and I almost choked to death on it, then I had to watch my elderly relative remove her denture to pick the bits of beef out.

Merry Fucking Christmas.

Fuck Jamie Oliver.

Nominated by Stumpy Mc-Cunty

 

Gillette (the best a soyboy can get)

Gillette

What a bunch of snowflake cunts. The latest ad appears to condemn all men as nasty bastards, and we need to change to make us acceptable to the Feminazis.

Well fuck off Gillette – I’m growing a beard,so you can shove your overpriced “improvement” aids up your arses.

Cunts

Nominated by Big Al

— Fairly Urgent Topical Cunting Incoming —

Just as I lay my sub-normal head down on the pillow for some much needed rest and perhaps a few wet dreams involving that fat milf who used to be on New Tricks, I get hit with an advert so fucking deplorable that it has already set a high benchmark contender for cuntlord company of the year – it is none other than Gillette, the cunts behind overpriced, plasticky razor blades for men too lazy to do a proper shave.

Just sit back and watch this incredible piece of work, my esteemed friends:

In less than two minutes, Gillette’s massively misjudged PR stunt to appease the SJW ‘woke’ fucking generation of left-wing walking cancers has backfired enormously across all forms of online media. This video essentially preaches to all men to stop being evil, oppressive fucking tormentors and learn to be ‘good’. To teach young boys that they should not grow up to be evil bastards like their father – cue Hollywood hamming-up emotional pastiches of catcalling, #CuntToo, fighting in the fucking street and of course, totally unwarranted aggression to anyone on two Christing legs. You know, the fucking usual.

Aside from the anger that we have yet another fucking company preaching left-wing ideology to customers – who in this case are obviously predominantly men – we also have to endure once again the tried ‘n’ trusted doctrine that being a man is inherently wrong; somehow, by default, that all men are bad and that boys are seen as needing to be ‘fixed’ to prevent them becoming masculine. Burn to death you utter fucking cunts.

How in the name of Jesus Harry H. Corbett Christ can Gillette believe that it is totally worth shitting all over the people who actually buy their crap, just to appease the feminists and the soy-infused, low-testosterone cuckolds who do feminist bidding – the latter of which won’t make Gillette any money of course, by virtue of the fact that they need only one fucking Mach3 blade to last them an entire lifetime.

Now, speaking as someone who has been hacking away at his mug with a Muhle safety razor and loose blades for over two decades, I am thankfully not a buyer of Gillette products. I would however implore cunters who use them to switch to anything other than Gillette – there are a good few cheaper alternatives now – teach these fucking pricks a lesson and hit them where it hurts: the profits.

At time of writing, their propaganda-laden abomination on Youtube has 10k likes versus 100k dislikes. Here’s hoping their left-wing pitching goes just as disastrously for them as it did for Superdry, Ben & Jerry’s and Electronic Arts when they too went for the social justice option.

Gillette – the best a man can cunt.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Gillette deserves an Uber cunting for leaping on to the #Metoo bandwagon and immediately alienating the majority of their customer base.
I’m sure most men are sick to death of having this rancid feminist agenda rammed down their throats at every turn, being branded sexist by simply being male and having our masculinity stripped at every opportunity.
This festering turd of an ‘advert’ removes itself from simply advertising the product and shifts squarely into the current social justice tidal wave of feminist bollocks, assuming it’s customers are all would be sex-abusers and misogynists. Can you imagine the backlash if Always portrayed their customer base as irrational and emotionally unbalanced every time they were on the blob?
Well Gillette you can take your piece of shit advert and the snivelling feminist apologist cunt that directed this utter wank and fuck right off. This is the last time I will be purchasing any of your products. Let’s hope a consolidated effort from your customer base will lead to whichever fucktard thought this a great idea losing their job. Fucking cunts.

Nominated by Bellendiousmaximus

Thank You Thursday

Thank You Thursday (TYT)

No not a character name for an indigenous Bond Girl (but if it was doubtless you could write your own screenplay for that one) but yes, another Yank Wank idea to part you from your hard earned with a dose orf guilt and syrup. Has been aroinde in Yankland for some years now, on a par with Father’s Day and Mother’s Day and intended to flog crap Hallmark TYT cards, boxes orf foul Hershey TYT candy and similar shite. Idea is you bang some orf same in the post (or use an extortionate bespoke delivery service) as a mark orf delight at the tat some cunt at the last minute has remembered to give you for Christmas. Now as ever the tawdry concept has been dumped very second hand on poor Blighty’s heaving shores. Reports orf snowflakes agonising over what to write and etiquette sites appearing advising you how to.
Yours Truly’s advice? Punt the self same crapola back at the cunts from whence it came withoit comment and withoit stamps so the cunts are suckered in to pay excess postage. A further steer from YT. Do not give away any sign orf your identity so the cunts have to work oit to whom the shite was given.

Fuck Orf Friday anyone? For a modest fee (plus expenses) YT will regale your loved one(s) with a personal message orf Yuletide and Noel Joy any Friday after Christmas.

 

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

Neckbeards

Neckbeards.

Flaccid, flabby (not necessarily fat) young men unable to manage decent stubble growth due to low testosterone, who address their close friends as ‘sir’ and ‘madam’ and in other overly deferential terms . They usually have dirty, long unstyled hair, and go on about wearing monocles and cravats and spend their social life snorting and hooting about the latest shit memes and the comedy of Richards Herring and Ayoade at the back of a Games Workshop branch, but have never visited a pub, raised their voice beyond their bedrooms or wargaming club, or a pint glass.
Can’t make eye contact with a woman who isn’t their mum, or whatever obese, shrill and mentally ill blue-haired thing they call a girlfriend, even when merely ordering food or drink, mumbling and murmering their order to the increasingly appalled barmaid/waitress, who the neckbeard is now convinced hates him.
The neckbeard has trouble holding down even a minimum wage job or working full time. He finds ‘traditional masculinity’ (which he abbreviates to ‘trad. Masc.’ offensive (threatening) and doesn’t speak to his father. He is careful to avoid contact with any older male who looks like they ‘work/worked for a living’. He is also hugely resentful of men his age with well paid, full-time employment and good-looking girlfriends, who he will denounce as a ‘normie’ or ‘chad’, if his involuntary celibacy has completely crippled him to such a sorry, infantile state.

Fucking neckbeard cunts.

 

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

Ze Krauts [2]

As if we don’t have enough meddling bastards in our country keeping on remoaning the fucking Germans are at it now:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-46918009

One of the letter writers to The Times in the picture that accompanies that article looks like a lezzie and the other a poof.

Why don’t they keep their meddlng snouts out of our affairs. Germany just wants another mug – us – to share the bills and the immigrants they don’t give a fuck about us.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs