Robert Peston [4]


This smug bizarrely annunciating pain in the gonads has been riding the BBC gravy train for years. The egocentric economics commentator cunt is currently stamping his little piggy trotters trying to hissy fit his employers in to paying him loads more moolah (a very good reason not to pay the licence fee) and threatening to take his talents elsewhere. Well fuck orf Peston I say and let us take a look at what the cunt has to offer.

The ugly tosser’s ego is legendary and precisely complemented by a scruffy and poorly dyed barnet. His mangling orf the Queen’s English is a crime against humanity so naturally the BBC PC Brigade has the cunt popping up all over the place. Had an ancient 2CV on the farm that would stutter to a halt like that in the rain then suddenly shoot forward full power without warning. Got £40 scrap for it. Peston’s manufactured pauses and strangulated vowels are the egocunt’s attempts to mask the simple fact that he does not know what the fuck he is talking about.

Pay the man another £Mill a year.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Dozey WAGs


I’d like to nominate ‘female cuntishness’ or more accurately the perpetrators thereof………

I’m sure they do it to wind us up and they do it on purpose, that, or they are in league with the purveyors of blood pressure medicants.

Allow me to illustrate:

Sunday afternoon, Biggin Hill Air-show on the goggle box; the surround sound is wound up and flexing the windows. Enter honeybunch
“Loud isn’t it!” Strike one. That’s why I turned it on you dozy cunt, is what I wanted to say, but I let it slide.
“Now listen; this is what it’s about lass: a Spitfire.”
“Sounds just like any other engine to me.” Strike two. You fucking soulless harridan!

Michael Clarke announces his retirement and gets emotional:
“Aw.” She says “I feel sorry for him, don’t you?”
“No!” “He’s a baggy green Aussie bastard, which is as hateful a frenchman (No! Fuck off spell-checker he’s not having a capital F) without an English arrow sticking out of his chest. I hate the bloody convicts; they hate us so why should I feel pity for him”
“But it’s only a game and you shouldn’t get so angry, it can’t be good for you.” Strike three through twenty-three.

See what I mean. They can never attain cuntitude, but by the fuck the know about cuntishness and how to twist it when it’s in up to the hilt.

Of course you could never trump Cuntishness with Cuntitude or you’d never get your shirts ironed.

Sneaky vindictive cunning Cunts.

Nominated by: King Cnut

Stuart Lancaster


England Head Cunt Coach Stuart Lancaster. A former PE teacher for Christ’s sake, the half jocko arsehole stuck out a loser and pillock the second I clapt me eyes upon him. Far as I can make out the little turd just wants to carry orn as if nothing has happened.

Lancaster you cunt, after this humiliation your arse is now owned by the aussies so time to do the decent thing, scrum down with the Wallabies, drop your pants and take it like a man.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Quitting smoking


Quitting smoking is a cunt…

I’m trying to quit again and its just fucking hopelessly difficult to do. I feel there’s a little satan over my shoulder going “Come on light up you know you want to, everything will be better buddy once you do” and theres a bit of truth to that.

Cigarettes does go good with music, drugs, sex,porn,coffee, relieves stress(kind of) and its a time killer when bored. If I didn’t have such terrible anxiety, depression and adhd I’m positive quitting smoking would be very easy to accomplish…

Nominated by: Titslapper

Grieving England Rugby Fans


As I’m just back from Aussie, I confess to to a little unpatriotic fervour this morning on hearing that they knocked England out of the Rugby World Cup.

Let’s face it – England got hammered so it gives the griefjackers an opportunity to show just how distraught they are. Well, here’s my message to them all :


Nominated by: Dioclese