Seann Walsh


The ‘comedian’ Seann Walsh needs a cunting. The single most unfunny cunt on the planet, and this planet has Russell Howard and Omid Djalili on it so he’s done very fucking well to top that mountain of cunt.

Did you see that monk thing on BBC he was in? Jesus Fucking Cunt it was abysmal. The cunt seems to think telling a really meandering, shit, ultimately unfunny story from his (probably annoyingly good) life, then realising he is getting no reaction, shouts and swears in a cunty manic way until the audience nervously and uncomfortably snigger at him constitutes stand-up. In all honesty the lad needs to die.

That cunt John Bishop needs to fuck off too.

Nominated by: Cunt O’Macunto

Kevin the painter


I crave your indulgence, dear reader but I’m afraid I just have to get this off my chest. I desperately need to cunt Kevin the painter…

How long do you think it takes one man to paint a five bedroom house? A week? A bit longer? No – how about two weeks and a day. Picture this: Kevin the Cunt rolls up in his van at 8:30 and sticks it on the double yellow lines. There’s plenty of legal parking, but that means he’d have to walk ten feet further. Literally. Kevin the cunt knows best. “PCSO’s can’t issues tickets” he tells me when I suggest he parks in the drive belonging to the house’s he’s painting. Two days later, a PCSO gives a ticket. Result.

Anyhow, it’s 8:30 and Kevin doesn’t start work before nine, so he sits under my fucking bedroom window with the radio blaring while he drinks tea, reads the paper, and plays with his phone. At 9 o’clock the props come out – ladders are leaned against the wall of the house, then Kevin fucks off to make a few phone calls and drink some more tea. In his fucking van. Under my fucking window.

Of course, whilst all this is going on, he leaves a radio blaring away on the next door back lawn so the people inside think he’s working. In fact, Kevin the Cunt likes his radio. He leaves it blaring all day. Even when he’s not there. Because he’s fucked off to his van to make some more phone calls.

Kevin’s phone is omnipresent. I can only assume that he’s got a contract with 10,000 free minutes a month on it and he’s fucking desperate not to waste any of them.

Anyway, it’s been nice and sunny for the last couple of weeks and you wouldn’t want to waste the sunshine, would you? Well, Kevin the Cunt certainly doesn’t. Because he doesn’t like to paint more than half a window frame at a time without taking a ten minute break lying on the customers back lawn – and of course it’s a perfect opportunity to make a few more fucking phone calls.

Even when he’s two stories up the side of the building on a ladder with a paint pot in one hand and the brush in the other, he’s rabitting into his bloody phone which is tucked under his chin. I found myself praying he’d just lose his balance because at least while he was in hospital, we’d get a break from his radio. And his fucking phone.

I have met some fucking lead swinging bone idle bastards in my time, but this cunt takes the fucking biscuit. What I haven’t worked out is who he’s conning. He’s self employed so if he’s skyving then who’s he robbing but himself? We reckon the only explanation is that he’s quoted ten days for the job and doesn’t want to finish under that in case the customer complains at the cost.

But at the end of the day, is he a good painter? Well, I saw him paint half of a window sill and then move the ladder to paint the other half. Shame he rested the ladder against the half he’d just painted.

So my advice is if you’re looking for a painter, don’t give the job to fucking Kevin!!!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Shaun Wright

David Crompton_Shaun Wright

Shaun Wright, Police and Crime Commissioner for South Yorkshire, is an incompetent cunt who presided over children’s services for Rotherham Council from 2005 until 2010 during which time we now believe some 1,400 kids were sexually abused.

If he had any shame at all, he’d fuck off and let someone infinitely more suitable do the PCC job – or has he got something more to hide? I think we should be told…

Nominated by: Dioclese

I hereby cunt anyone culpable for the Rotherham child abuse scandal. Black, white, civilian, copper, Christian, Muslim, MP, whoever you fucking are.

Where the fuck to start? 1,400 kids abused over years. Hundreds of people knew and either turned a blind eye or simply denied it. Words fail me as to my feelings towards those responsible, and just as bad, those who let down these kids. The perpetrators need exterminating. The people who let them down need naming on huge posters.

Live with that shame you cunts. Fuck you!

Nominated by: fleaboy

Greg Dyke

Greg Dyke, FA chairman

Greg Dyke is a cunt…. This wanker is now complaining that the Football Association is “Too white and too male.” What is wrong with either of those? And what the fuck does he want it to be?!

OK, a game that is played by men, managed by men, watched (mainly) by men and is (supposed to be) a man’s game, as they say…. Yet Dyke wants to turn the FA into another BBC (Dyke used to run that pisspot of a Corporation too!)?! The same BBC: where being a man (or white, for that matter) is now a handicap, and people get top jobs as token gestures because of their (female) gender, skin colour or (homo)sexuality… The FA has its faults, but this is potential madness… One can imagine the scenario: “This man/woman has no knowledge or experience of the game. But he/she has worked at the BBC and is either/or black and/or gay, so they get on the FA board..”

They have already got women bloody linesmen (assistant referee, my arse!). If they get involved in running the game itself, then football really is in trouble… Who is going to be on the FA board? Allan Carr? Lenny Henry? Caitlin cunting Moran? (Oh, and Sol Campbell of course)… Political correctness has damaged enough of Blighty as it is… If it takes over our football then we are fucked…

Nominated by: Norman



Internet Conspiracy Theorists have been cunted before but this fucker takes it to a whole new level.

Stumbled on to a blog called “thecolemanexperience” earlier this evening… fuck me, these cunts make David Icke seem like a model of rational thought. In the world of these cuntish halfwits, every public body or national institution in every country on earth is controlled by one massive interconnected conspiracy of Zionists, Catholics and paedophiles. I offer [this example] – a report on the death of Rik Mayall. For full impact, please don’t forget to read the comments immediately following the main article.

What these braindead cunts need is a taste of their own fucking medicine – a big Satanic ritual in the ruins of Haut de la Garenne where each and every one of these morons gets fisted with the exhumed right arm of Cyril Smith while Cliff Richard’s Greatest Hits plays at full volume.

What utter fucking cunts.

Nominated by: Fred West