Kiss

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Kiss are cunts…

Their music is mediocre at best but it’s not like they (or their fans apparently) care… Kiss are in it for the money and pussy… Kiss is a franchise and Gene Simmons is probably the only so-called rock star to be open about the only true motive why he’s part of it: business…. I applaud Mr. Simmons for his honesty but he’s still a ridiculous cunt..

Equally stupid as his music are his so-called political views…

Nominated by: Norman

Chelsea FC

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Chelsea FC are cunts.

Has there ever been a more dull and boring title win during the Premier League era? This is like Celtic winning the SPL without any threat or competition.

Chelsea are the most boring league champions since George Graham’s Arsenal and their offside trap (I remember that classic VHS: ‘Arsenal – 100 Great 0-0 Draws’). I know my lot aren’t up to much at the moment, but I am glad Mourinho never came to Old Trafford. The football would have been negative as fuck.

The antithesis of Busby and The Doc. Mourinho would just have been a more arrogant Dave Sexton…

Nominated by: Norman

The Olympics

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The Olympics needs a damn good cunting.

Does anyone remember being sold this glorified school sports day by that odious little cunt Ken Livingstone with the statement that it would cost the taxpayer no more than a walnut whip? Well, that walnut whip must be roughly the size of the northern fucking hemisphere once the sums were done and it came in at £24Bn.

That figure was arrived at once all of the disruption, the cost of building the Olympic park, the cost of putting up all the hangers on in top hotels, turfing established businesses out of their premises, bribes, bungs and brown envelopes to officials and the loss of £300m from the sale of the athletes village flats. How the fuck do you lose £300m on 2800 flats in London when there is a housing shortage?!

For two weeks we had to put up with a bunch of gurning cunts who use their personalities as birth control for the sum total of 29 gold medals. Anything less than a gold is a defeat in my books. So each medal cost the taxpayer £827,586,206.

The actual cost of an Olympic gold medal is £365. So for that price every man, woman and child in the UK could have been given their own Olympic gold medal and not have to endure an opening ceremony that was as cringe worthy as it was blatantly socialist and also not have their lives disrupted for a bunch of nonentities to run, jump and throw shit for a fortnight.

Put into context, this is the price of 24 top of the range county hospitals, or 4 brand new aircraft carriers (we currently have none), or decent equipment for our armed forces that would prevent them coming home in a box. In fact anything would have been a better use of the money than pissing it away in a style reminiscent of a thousand Dray horses full of lager. Yes, really that much pissing away!!

What galls me most is that this freak show only appeals to the kind of sad cunt that spends their Saturday in the pouring rain watching fucking losers run around in circles while sipping a thermos full of weak lemon squash sheltering under a kagool.

Look at it this way, right now there is some poor cunt in Syria running a fuck of a lot faster than Usain Bolt ever will, trying to escape the clutches of ISIS.

There is some illegal immigrant in France currently jumping higher than any Olympic hopeful trying to get onto the top of a lorry bound for England.

And there are scores of North Africans rowing like fuck across the Mediterranean trying not to drown on the way.

The Olympics can suck my fat one for being a waste of time, waste of money and a total cunt magnet.

Nominated by: Odin’s Balls

Mike Brewer

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Mike Brewer from Wheeler Dealers is a proper Cunt, he always takes credit for profit on cars that Ed China spends dirty hours fixing up. Mike Brewer is a fat lazy arsed southern cunt that eats pies and cant see his cock! Typical fat cockless cunt that rides his success off the back of someone else.

What cunty cunt cunt behaviour – typical of the fat lazy cunt that is Mike Brewer!

Nominated by: Wiztoon68

Bono [7]

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Bono (real name Dave) deserves another cunting for announcing that it would be ‘stupid’ for messianic rich cunts called Bono not to minimise their tax bill. It’s one of my wishes to one day meet Bonio. Not because I’m a fan. It’s because I really want to kick the fucking shit out of the smug, self important cunt.

Apparently, what he’s doing is perfectly legal. It’s also the act of a complete and utter cunt and, in his case, a fucking hypocrite. Now that he’s admitted to being a tax avoider, what little moral high ground he occupied, has disappeared. Never again can this jumped up shit go to the United Nations and demand that leaders of Western countries spend billions more of their taxpayer’s money on the starving in Africa, when he does all he can to pay as little tax as possible.

I once took a trip to Dublin with some mates. One morning, we took a ride on one those tour buses they have. The driver was awesome, giving us a history of the city and various buildings. He also told several humorous stories including one from the early 80’s when as a young boy, he saw a band busking in the centre of Dublin. The next time he saw them was on Top of the Pops, going by the name U2. Of the busking band, his exact words were, “Oi Tort dey wor shoite”. When he saw them on TOTP, “Oi noo day wor shoite”. I’m not very good at doing a Dublin accent.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw