Sport Relief (2)

A cunting for Sport Relief in general and BBC Yorkshire in particular.

The presenters of Look North (Leeds studio) have put their sofa on a trolley and are pushing it around Yorkshire. For Sports Relief.
This follows a 3 legged walk a few years ago. For Sports Relief.
These pointless activities are for charidee of course but you have to wonder what it costs to host these pointless cuntfests and wouldn’t it be better to donate that cost? And perhaps give less publicity to Z list talentless wankers?

On to where the money goes from this and a myriad of other pointless activities.. Some seems to go to UK causes but most seems to go to Africa. Yep, the black shithole where it can be stolen, buy arms, fund paedo aid workers etc. As if they don’t get enough.

So, a cunting for Sport Relief the bastard child of Comic Relief and all it’s good works.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Caroline Lucas

Caroline Lucas thinks its okay for snowflakes to block a runway trying to prevent a plane from taking off with “deportee’s” on board.

How did these cunts even know details about this secret unscheduled flight? More security breaches?

Lucas puts GB security at risk by suggesting these organised criminal security breaches are forgotten?

There are serious laws regarding breaching airport security, being airside without relevant travel documents, being on the apron / runway surface, disruption to flights and traffic etc etc many of which are bound by aviation laws. Then there’s the obstruction of the deportation laws as well?

I’m betting there’s a high parking Stanley representation involved in this “peaceful” mission.

We cannot allow our country’s laws be made a mockery of any longer and when your deemed no longer welcome, then its time to leave.

A serving MP should be not be in office if they feel asking that 15 criminals involved in such a serious organised crime be pardoned is appropriate. It highlights concerns in her ability to think and function in the best interests of Great Britain and its security.

I thought the hijacking of vessels was more the style of Greenpeace than the Green Party.

Nominated by Basement Bob

The Home Office / De La Rue

This is a difficult one because they BOTH deserve to have their fucking heads banged together (or, at least, nail-gunned to a passport).

Home Office: “Hey, we’re leaving the EU in 2019. What can we do to show our newfound independence and assert our national identity? I know! Let’s get the French to print our passports!”.

Fucking idiots.

The culture secretary, Matt Hancock, said that EU regulations were to blame.


German passports are printed by Bundesdruckerei (German, state owned), Spanish passports are printed by Fábrica Nacional de Moneda y Timbre (The Spanish Royal Mint for fuck’s sake!), Italian passports are printed by Instituto Poligrafico e Zecca dello Stato (Italy’s NATIONAL printing office – can you see a pattern developing?). French passports are printed by Groupe Imprimerie Nationale (French, state owned – quelle surprise). The French government even made the decision not to put the job out to tender AND THIS IS ACTUALLY ALLOWED UNDER EU RULES! Matt Hancock, take note.

De La Rue were apparently £120m more expensive over 5 years than the company who have [to press] been awarded the contract. Their chief executive, Martin Sutherland, apparently acknowledged that his company had been beaten on price in an “open competition” but he said that was “unfair”. He immediately took to the BBC to moan about it and said Theresa May or Amber Rudd, should “come to my factory and explain to my dedicated workforce why they think this is a sensible decision”. Well, it was a decision taken by a Government Department – just where the fuck do you think common sense came into it? Why don’t YOU go to your factory and explain that YOUR company was 120 million pounds more expensive than your competitors?

Surely The Home Office and De La Rue should have sat down for an “off the record” chat and prevented this nationally humiliating debarcle. Give me 10 minutes in a room with Amber Rudd, Martin Sutherland, a baseball bat and immunity from prosecution and I think we could come to an amicable agreement to keep the remaining 80% of our passport printing in good old Blighty.

Nominated by Thirkleby Spunktrumpet

Royal Mail [4]

I should like to deliver a first class cunting to the Royal Mail. I could deliver it second class but it would take another 2 days to turn up…
Finding myself at my lowest ebb, in utter hopelessness, with absolutely no other option, (including walking to the destination parcel-in-hand), then I am forced to call upon the “services” of the Royal Mail, or, indeed ParcelFarce to deliver items for me.
Overlooking the base ignominy of standing in a queue of curmudgeonly cunts with all the time in the world, notwithstanding the cataclysmic impertinence of the “What’s in the package ?” line of interrogation from the boss-eyed bellend behind the bulletproof glass – Here’s the cuntiest part:

“What’s the value ?” Fair enough question you may think.

No – If I wish to send anything VALUABLE, via these feckless fuck-buckets, then I must pay them an extra sum to insure MY package against:

1. Some light-fingered Royal Mail cunt taking a fancy to it as it passes through THEIR system.
2. Some heavy-handed Royal Mail cunt bouncing/booting/lobbing it around the various bins whilst it passes through THEIR system.
3. It mysteriously disappears whilst it passes, etc, etc.

WTF ? That’s like my local MOT garage saying they will test my car for the usual £44 but as it’s a classic Porsche* and therefore VALUABLE, I must pay some extra insurance in case:

1. Our lads take a fancy to your car and fuck off with it
2. Our lads drop it off the fucking ramp
3. It mysteriously disappears whilst it passes… (or in this case, fails).

Royal Mail ? Fucking cheeky CUNTS

*No, I don’t have a classic Porsche. It’s an old Astra Estate with 250K on the clock.

Nominated by Cunt Reviled

Gary Lineker (9)

Gary ‘Ol’ Jug Ears’ Lineker deserves another cunting. Yesterday, Leave campaigners carried out a stunt to protest the outrageous stitch up that Theresa the Appeaser performed on our already beleaguered fisherman. A small trawler sailed up the Thames to Parliament, and Nigel Farage dumped a load of fish into the river. Cue Lineker, who took to Twatter and posted a photo of Nige, along with the boat’s skipper, Aaron Brown, each holding a fish over the side of the boat, with the comment; “Rarely have 2 such slimy, smelly, slippery creatures held on to some fish”.

People can, and frequently do, say what they want about Nigel. It goes with the territory. He doesn’t care and, frankly, neither do I. But to insult a hard working fisherman who, unlike Lineker, doesn’t scam £1.75 million per year from British TV licence payers, not to mention the obscene amount he gets from Walkers, that’s when you know you’re dealing with a nasty, arrogant, elitist, left wing, fuckwit of a cunt. Personally, I don’t think he’s worth a single penny of the obscene amount the BBC gives him.

It wouldn’t be so bad if this a one off. But it isn’t. Like most of his ilk, Lineker is a fanatical Remainer and has frequently taken to twatter to express his dislike of the 17.5 million people who voted to leave, often resorting to immature insults. And as we all know, Remainers are a bunch of childish cunts, who have spent nearly two years sulking over the referendum and insulting 17.5 million decent, hard working British voters who exercised their democratic right to decide for themselves whether they would to stay or leave, instead of voting the way that traitorous cunts like Lineker wanted us to vote. And it’s not just Brexit, he’s done it with people who have no interest in any of the many leftie causes that he supports, or those who simply disagree with his comments.

I used to like Lineker when he was playing football. Sure, he had a reputation for being a bit of goal hanger, but he seemed to be a pretty decent person. Then he retired and went to work for the BBC, and the REAL Gary Lineker emerged. A nasty, arrogant, opiniated twat. Now, the mask has well and truly slipped. Cunts like Lineker seem to think they’re better than the rest of us. That they’re more intelligent, more intellectual and, therefore superior. They seem to think that democracy is something that only they should have a right to, because the rest of us aren’t intelligent enough to understand complex issues such as the EU, and can’t be trusted to make what they consider to be the correct decision, i.e. to vote to stay in an organisation that steals billions of pounds from us every year, hates us, mocks and insults us regularly, is less democratic than the former Soviet Union and is run by “leaders” who nobody outside the EU parliament voted for and are nothing more than grossly overpaid, incompetent bureaucrats.

Remainers are childish cunts, especially those who are on the left of the political spectrum. Every day they dream up plots to reverse Brexit and hurl insults at 17.5 million people, simple because we exercised our right to decide for ourselves how we would vote in the referendum, rather than simply voting the was THEY wanted us to vote. I hate to break it to them, but that’s how democracy works. One person, one vote. Cunts like Lineker though, seem to think that the concept of democracy should be, “people who don’t share my opinion should not be allowed to vote, because they’re stupid and wrong”. That’s not democracy, that’s totalitarianism.

To my mind, if you’re against us leaving the EU, that’s up to you. Most Remainers, although still unhappy about it, have accepted that we will soon no longer be members of that malicious, insidious cesspit of dictators. Some, like Lineker, are incapable of accepting it, because their arrogance, their sense of superiority and their general disdain of Britain, her people and everything British won’t allow them to accept it. In my opinion, people like that are in the wrong country. They should be in one of the other member countries. So, Gary Lineker, mega cunt, off you fuck!

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Emergency cunting for ISAC staple and hall o’famer Gary Lineker.

After yesterday’s Thames protest against the governments continued fuck up over fishing in UK waters, which saw fisherman on behalf of the disgruntled fishing industry throw dead fish into the stretch of the river outside parliament, good old champagne cuntfuck Gary Lineker tweeted the above.

Farage can look after himself but the real cuntitude of Lineker’s tweeting twatcunt fucksploits is the layered attack on hard-working fishermen worried about their continued compromise thanks to our spineless fucking government. Focusing on easy targets like Farage and ignoring the reasons for the protest, Lineker the monumental cunt has thankfully received largely a backlash from many users on the above comments; many astutely pointing out how Lineker’s faux-outrage only ever appears on select socialist causes – nothing from this talking giblet for example on the Telford fucking shocker of a scandal.

I utterly fucking despise crisp-nicking Shitteker; a man in may eyes famous for being a cringe-worthy scrounger on the pitch, for shitting himself during Italia ’90 and for being the voice of liberal entitlement since the advent of social fucking media. The hatred for this bastard even exceeds that of Lily ‘Xenomong’ Allen. Everything about this man – the hypocrisy, the smug chipping in under the false veil of social justice, the greed, the risible gay art student beard – everything connected to him is utterly fucking contemptible.

An arch-cunt of modern times to be sure, Gary Lineker.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back