Independence Day

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I just can’t let the 4th of July go by without marking it by cunting the entire nation of the United States of America. It just wouldn’t be right.

Every year, these wankers celebrate the “nations freedom and the brave men who died defending it”. That’d be the brave men who illegally invade foreign countries, stomp all over any nation that disagrees with them, and forces their dogma on the entire world. The biggest bunch of hypocritical bullshitters on the face of the planet.

The nation that “defends freedoms future” by bombing the fuck out of anyone who gets in their way.

The nation that turned up late for two world wars. Britain would would still be waiting now if it wasn’t for Pearl Harbour.

The nation that was populated by the dregs from the gutters of Europe and whose slogan was “No taxation without representation” when the British crown never received a fucking penny in taxes in the first place.

The nation that has laid claim to every invention it never invented and has rewritten history to suit its own ego. Orwell would have been proud.

Basically, a nation of cunts. Happy 4th July, you fuckers!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Chris Spivey [2]

A monkey wearing a Chris Spivey T-shirt

A monkey wearing a Chris Spivey T-shirt

Chris spivey deserves a massive re-cunting as the fat ignorant conspiracy theorist cunt is claiming, predictably, that the Tunisian massacre didn’t happen and was staged by “crisis actors”…

Nominated by: Fred West

A cunt out of his own mouth :

your own common sense should leave you laughing at events such as this latest crock of horseshit coming out of Tunisia

Lying British crisis actors more commonly known as Pondlife Traitor Arse-wipe Shitheads make up some hysteria inducing old bollocks after being trapped in their own tiny fucking minds and given a strict mandate to work non-existent Terrapins hurling FUCK ALL at anybody into their fantasy

The gunman who was later shot dead was named as Seifeddine Rezgui, 23 – in other words, an unpronounceable name commonly given over to nonexistent terrapins by the woefully inadequate, government sponsored false flag, scriptwriters

15 Britons were among the 38 who were mercilessly killed in the massacre yesterday and that number ‘may well rise’, Tunisia’s Foreign Minister Tobias Ellwood has said. Yeah, Tobias will be waiting on a phone call from the Cunt Cameron to tell him whether to increase the number of British dead or not.

7/7 was a false flag attack too although that was carried out on British soil. Are the Monkey-Boyz saying that this false flag in Tunisia was carried out on the orders of the British Government? Or did ISIS telephone the Cunt Cameron and tell him that this was an attack specifically targeting the British.

I apologize most sincerely for inflicting this piece of disrespectful, egotistical, sadly deluded piece of pond life on the public. I shall immediately commit suicide to asuage my guilt, realising that Chris will probably say that Cameron had me bumped orf in a false flag attack.

Nominated by: Chris Spivey’s Mum

Suzi Perry [2]

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There is talk of the BBC putting a female in the new Top Gear line up, it seems Top Gear fans are being punished and in need of some gender equality training post Clarkson.

Suzi Perry has been proffered for the role… This cunt thinks she is ‘the queen of tech’… I shat more tech know how down the toilet this morning than that cunt will ever possess. The gadget show is wank, 6th Form college Tech clubs have more ability, knowledge and charisma than all of those presenters put together.

And don’t get me started on F1 Coverage. She is little more than ‘token cunt’ (literally), constantly interrupting during interviews with banal musings and confusing almost every engineering principle in order to appear learnid in application engineering, aerodynamics, and thermodynamics (thats the study of heat/combustion engine design and construction to those who are not spanner monkeys). I spent 9 years learning and studying my trade and I despise cunts like this dumbing it down to make themselves look good.

Nominated by: The Captain

Suzi Perry spent years as a MotoGP presenter slagging off F1, then she lost that gig, spent a bit of time in the wilderness and guess what? She ends up on F1 and blabbering on about how awesome it is even though she knows just as much about F1 as she did about bikes, ie. fuck all.

Nominated by: Mr Cunty Pants

People Persons

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I’d like to formally cunt “People Persons”. You know the type. “Hey, I consider myself a real PEOPLE person!” Yeah. Right.

These awful cunts are usually found attempting to edge their way up the corporate/ religious/ charidee/ political ladder whilst genuinely believing themselves to be inspirational and motivating types who brighten the lives of lesser individuals. Often seen herding their reluctant office underlings into the paintball area of your local wood/swamp/marsh for some “Team Building” (Eurgh!!) or leading a bunch of naïve inexperienced adventurer types into the mountains for a (hopefully) doomed sleepover at Camp Hypothermia. And he’ll have a secondhand guitar which will be twanged tunelessly around the campfire while he urges his freezing companions to sing along about their “ging gang fucking goolies” or suchlike.

Invariably obsessed with slogans such as “wake up and smell the coffee”, “there’s no “I” in “Team”, “get with the program” and the perennial 80’s cunt catchphrase “go for it!” (AAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!) this turd in vaguely human form considers himself/herself a charismatic natural leader of men when actually they are a grating, obnoxious pain in everyone around them’s arse. Tragically they are also often utterly well intentioned into the bargain with the result that their kind hearted colleagues and friends (if they’ve got any) can’t bring themselves to bring them down to earth by informing them that they actually possess less charisma than a half empty tube of Anusol abandoned in a bedsit bathroom cabinet. In Wales.

Nominated by: Mr Bastard

…and here’s a little musical take on the problem as well..

Russell Brand [7]

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Russell Brand. An totally unfunny fuckwit and general pissant of the first water. After his stunt with Andrew Sachs and the total bullshit he was spouting during the election, I really didn’t that my loathing for this piece of human excrement could get any worse. But I was wrong.

Yesterday, as the bodies of tourists butchered on the beach in Tunisia were being flown into Brize Norton, Brand said the minute’s silence was an ’empty, hollow gesture’. He went on to say that it was “part of a general policy of bullshit, so that our government can continue selling arms around the world and perpetuating a cycle where its own needs are met.” So basically, Brand is saying that it’s the UK government’s fault these poor buggers were mown down.

I have two important questions about this arsehole that need addressing :

(1) Why does anybody listen to a single word this pathetic, immature, ex-junkie, shite-spouting, degenerate waste of good air has to say about anything?

(2) Why wasn’t he on holiday in Tunisia last week?

The fucker needs chinning and his lips sewing up. He’ll do and say anything to get his sad arse in the news. What a disrespectful piece of shit he is!

Nominated by: Dioclese