iFascism

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Apple IFascism – vastly overpriced chinko gear sold to iCunt tossers. Particularly pissed off by that strap line at the bottom orf their messages “sent from my iPhone”.

Who the fuck cares you juvenile wanker?

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Queues a mile long outside Apples stores all over the world because these they want the latest fucking iShit. FFS get a life!

Must confess a post on mine in similar vein!

Nominated by: Dioclese

( Written on my MacBookPro )

Lily Allen [2]

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Yep..that’s definitely a cunt!

Lily Allen is a talentless, tone deaf, ugly gobshite cunt…. When the silly bitch said she was ‘retiring’ from the music industry, I thought it was too good to be true….

Her freeloading, pisspot, professional celebrity, can’t act for shit dad is a cunt too…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Now I’ve had a while to calm down and some sleeping tablets, I’d like to nominate a new breed of cunt that’s come to my attention.

It’s called Lilly Allen.

This cunt has no redeeming features, a singing voice like a pissed Dutch fisherman, and very probably, a fanny like a clowns pocket.

I had the misfortune to watch her at the smug/shit/crustie fest that is ‘Glasto’ this year and I really should be suing those cunts at the BBC/calling the noise Police for outright GBH to my earholes such is the toxicity levels of her tuneless yapping.

She obviously thinks she’s good in her own mind.

I have a differing view in that I’d rather hear a pile of freshly squeezed dogshit sing than listen to her.

Innit.

Nominated by: Anonymous

Fat bottomed girls

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How is it that fat, fuckin’ pig ugly women get pregnant so regularly?

My drive to work takes me past two schools. Both of which are besieged by buggy trundling, porcine, tattoo covered tubs of lard with a herd of tubby kids in tow. Whoever it is that’s insemenating these bulbous wobble-bots needs a damn good cunting.

And another thing. How is it when you’ve packed a bird in she fuckin’ slims down to become a bed snake and looks so gorgeous you take her back…Then she gets bloated again…

Cunts!

Nominated by: Fleaboy

Michael Fallon

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I’d like to nominate my MP, Michael Fallon. He was there during the Libor scandle – now strangely forgotten/suppressed news – lives a 30 minute train journey away from but “needs” a London flat at our expense.

Urbane, Bon Viveur, Host, he’s the man of the moment…but still a complete cunt.

Nominated by: Mr Ed

…and let’s not forget his punch up with Boris over suburban rail franchising and his involvement in the fracking fracas!

Can’t think of a better person to take command of the defence of the realm. Not.

Nominated by: Dioclese