Save The Children

Save the Children

I recently returned from holiday and the airline was selling fucking scratch cards to benefit Save the Children. Allegedly.
So I had a look at where the money goes.
CEO Jasmine Whitbread earns £234k pa. In London, natch. Hard graft when you have to have a concerned look on your face whilst dining at the Ivy.
11 people are on 6 figure salaries.
It would be interesting to know how much of the £1 some dull cunt spends on a scratch card actually gets further than St Johns lane, EC1.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

The SNP and Braveheart



I wish to nominate the movie ‘Braveheart’ for a Cunting. For the past 15 or so years this utterly shite movie had been pissing me off and I can’t hold it back any more.

First, there’s that premium cunt Mel Gibson exhibiting himself in a kilt with a 1980s mullet haircut. He looks a total cunt, with his face and ass painted blue and that phony Scottish accent.

Then there’s the appalling dialogue. Most of it is bombastic, grandiose and trite. To quote a few gems –

“ Don’t you speak Latin” , quoted to a 9 year old peasant living up the ass of the Highlands, “ well that’s something we shall have to remedy, isn’t it?”
“Your commander must cross that field, put his head between his legs and kiss his ass”.
“Your heart is free.. have the courage to follow it”.

And don’t get me started on the historical inaccuracies. This movie is just an over hyped vehicle for Scottish nationalism. The English are presented as having enslaved the freedom loving Scots for at least a generation. In fact the English had occupied Scotland for one year at the time of Wallace’s rebellion. The Scots did not wear kilts then – they were popularised by the Victorians. The Princess of Wales was actually 9 at the time and unlikely to have started an affair with Wallace as shown in the movie. And as for “ prima nocte”, this never even existed in the feudal period. Wallace is also portrayed as a rough neck, a sort of feudal Bruce Springsteen. In fact he had noble blood, was well connected and highly educated.

All this wouldn’t matter if it was just entertainment for ignorant Yank cunts. But Braveheart is the bible of the Scottish nationalist movement. The movie exacerbated nationalist sentiment and that cunt Gibson loved it. You will see many Scottish nationalists now getting themselves up like Gibson with blue faces and blue asses, displaying their gonads and shouting “ ffffrrrreeeedddddooooooommmmmmm”. Wankers.

There is only one good thing in this movie and that’s Patrick McGoohan as Edward I. Brilliant performance. I’m rooting for him all the way through. Loved it when he chucked his son’s pompous lover out the window. What a cool cunt. Cut out Wallace, the Scots and everything else and just leave in Longshanks. The rest can fuck off.

Nominated by Marvellous Mechanical Cunting Machine

Old girlfriends


Old girlfriends
I made a big mistake recently and did a Google search for the love of my life 40 years ago. I haven´t seen for decades and she has a fairly common name so it took some time to find her. After the effort, I wish I hadn’t.
The goddess whom I thought was the most beautiful girl in the world all those years ago – and she was – and captivated me has turned into a wrinkly old bag with glasses perched on her nose like an eccentric academic. She seems to spend her time baking as her Instagram account is full of pictures of cakes and scones along with “humorous” comments. There are also some pictures of her husband – an ugly, specky, bald prick with false teeth. The exact opposite of me.
I have had a few other girlfriends since then and have been married for decades but still think first love is true love.

Let´s end with Byron who summed her up in those days although the old bag has probably forgotten me.
There be none of Beauty’s daughters
With a magic like thee;
And like music on the waters
Is thy sweet voice to me:
When, as if its sound were causing 5
The charmed ocean’s pausing,
The waves lie still and gleaming,
And the lull’d winds seem dreaming:

And the midnight moon is weaving
Her bright chain o’er the deep, 10
Whose breast is gently heaving
As an infant’s asleep:
So the spirit bows before thee
To listen and adore thee;
With a full but soft emotion, 15
Like the swell of summer’s ocean.

Nominated by Mr Polly

Scotland’s bottle deposit scheme.

Scotland’s bottle deposit scheme.

Oh fuck off SNP!! Leave us alone. I already recycle my bottles and because irresponsible chavs and spoilt children don’t have the sense of civic responsibility to put their plastic in the right fucking bin, I now have to return my bottles to the fucking retailer as well as all the other dividing and disposing of recyclable materials.

Get out of my life you Weegie cunts!

nominated by MandroidZ

The prototype sturgeon bank

Ruth Townsley

*Emergency Cunting*

Ruth Townsley
A foot up the arse cunting for this loony left cow, formerly ‘Head of Measurement and Policy’ (??) at Bristol based charity ‘Happy City’. This sack of shit has been fired after being investigated for offensive tweets about Nigel Farage and about ‘killing the rich’.
After the ‘milkshake’ attack on the Brexit Party leader, Cuntsley tweeted ‘bravo to Paul Crowther. Great that milkshakes have become a thing when it comes to the racists in our midst. I’d prefer acid but milkshakes will do for now’. Another tweet from 2017 said ‘I’ve decided that violence against the rich is entirely justified and it’s time to start killing them’.
The charity has fallen over to distance itself from this fruitcake and has shown her the door. She’s a hypocrite who tried to claim the moral high ground by ‘smearing’ Farage, in this instance by playing the ‘r’ card, and who then used this attributed racism as justification for advocating violence against him. It’s an old, old tactic (Goebbels would be proud), but it’s backfired badly this time.
I’m sure that the Old Bill will be knocking on her door imminently, to call her to account for inciting violence against the leader of a political party going about his lawful business at election time. Won’t they? This is a ‘hate crime’, isn’t it? I won’t be holding my breath.
They say that charity begins at home, but not in the case of this nasty piece of work, it would appear. Fuck off, you loony cunt.

Nominated by Ron Knee