Tennis

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Tennis fans and tennis players are the worst cunts in the sporting world. Their boring, stupid “sport” is inflicted upon the world and the viewing public without end during the spring and summer months, with the cunts at the BBC especially covering this bland spectacle every time Andy “I hate the English” Murray shouts at a ball boy or breaks a racket.

Not content with being the preserve of in-bred, chinless cunts from the Home Counties, this tiresome spectacle is now being promoted more and more in sports clubs and schools around the country, to the extent that soon the plaintive cries of “come on Andy (you Jock cunt)” will now be heard in accents from Manc to Geordie to Brummie, with cunts nation-wide pretending to be tennis coaches to get into nubile 19 yr olds’ knickers.

Everything about this “sport” is bland, from the thin cream and bitter strawberries at Wimbleborough, to the cream and white public school outfits worn by the cunts on the court, all the way to the yawn inducing cuntitude taking place that so enthrals the cunts who pay top dollar to shout “cum ahhnn!” at the players.

What a load of dumb cunts. Ban tennis now!

Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain

Easter

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Easter’s shit these days. The eggs seem to be made out of dried diarrhoea and filled with pus.

And you can’t even enjoy a nice church service as the vicar will be a fat lesbian doing the ‘job’ to get access to little girls to fist them up the cunt.

And the congregation will be 5 old cows smelling of piss in their cat-skin coats and lampshade hats.

Nominated by: Fuck Easter

Chris Ashton

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I’ll tell you now who is the biggest cunt on the planet… Chris Ashton.

He of the swallow dive when he scores a try.

Never kind that Ulster were ripped off by a cunt of a French ref tonight, to see that smug hateful cunt of all cunts Ashton with his theatrics crossing the try line. Fucking cunt.

I sincerely hope he lands on his fucking neck one day.

Angry, moi?

Nominated by: Dan

Telesales

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Telesales and telemarketing people are cunts.

Just when I’ve sat down on the lav for a good stiff shit, one of these cunts phones up with some “unmissable offer”, thus spoiling my enjoyment of the moment. Just fuck off you cunts, if I want something, then I’ll get it from the shops. I don’t need some spotty faced cunt telling me what a great product or service they have, I’d much rather spend my spare time in the best, most rewarding and long lasting way, by a complete evacuation of my healthy bowel.

“Have you claimed your PPI back yet?” – No, but I’ve just squeezed out an enormous log, you cunt !

Nominated by: who put the cunt in scunthorpe

David Cameron [13]

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Cameron is a Russian doll of cunts — Every new layer of shellac that falls off this slimy sack of excrement in the shape of a human, reveals is yet another cunt inside the Cunt Cameron.

His latest fuckmupery is supporting the dead-eyed sack of filth, Maria Miller, for thieving, bullying, lying, and other Tory core values.

David Cameron is loathsome cunt shit. He says his foreign aid budget is his proudest achievement (giving our money away – £620 per household in Britain in the fiscal year 2013-2014). David Cameron is a lying corrupt cunt. The truth is most the £11.3 billion a year set aside for overseas aid goes to thieving Tory cunts acting as consultants, and what is left over is thieved by dictators and foreign politicians who are pals of the filth in parliament (and give them nice holidays and presents + cash in brown envelopes).

Cunt Cameron is extremely proud of selling off the post office cheap to his pals (thereby thieving a £billion from taxpayers). He has no shame or remorse. His time in office is all about how much he can thieve to enrich himself and other Tory filth at the expense of the poor.

Every single thing Cunt Cameron does is dishonest and corrupt. This High Speed 2 railway is bollox. £75billion to a £100billion for a journey that will be 15 minutes faster. You can smell stinking corruption of Cunt Cameron on this project. Tory filth will be thieving 1,000s of £millions of taxpayers money (just like the Olympic horse-shit).

David Cameron is a filthy evil cunt. He is a liar without a shred of honour, humanity or decency.

The motto of criminal Tory filth, under this diabolical malignant cunt, Cunt Cameron, is, “never tell the truth, never resign, thieve as much as you can from the poor to give to the rich and for yourself.”

Nominated by: Alice