Leon Brittan


Leon Brittan, now Lord Brittan, Baron of ect ect is back in the news again. This wart faced cunt with a kiddie sniffer conk and former Home Secretary to Margaret Thatcher during the Miners Strike and later Secretary for Trade and Industry (he resigned over his perverse anti British meddling in the Westland Affair) was also a Queen’s Council so should know his arse from his elbow in matters legal. If one was casting a film about paedos this ugly cunt’s boat race alone would take him to the top orf the bally list.

It has been confirmed that he was handed a forty page dossier in 1983 detailing allegations of high level kiddy fumbling activities amongst the denizens of Westminister. To begin with this former top legal eagle was unable to recall this happening (well such a common and unmemorable event me dears) then under media pressure he could remember but could not recollect its contents or any actions taken about it or indeed what happened to the dossier in the end.

I wonder if his brother, Samuel, a leading journalist for The Times, could assist in his recollection. Other sources are popping some names into the frame of allegations including Cyril Smith, Jeremy Thorpe and confirmed batchelor Ted Heath. Not to forget our favourite master of paedo ceremonies, Jimmy Savile.

Old paedo cunts never die, they only wank away.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Maori tattoos

robbie williams tattoo13

Anyone with a Maori tattoo is a cunt.

I go swimming during the week, and the state of some of the fat bloated cunts who splosh into the pool has to be seen to be believed….but they have a confidence that they simply don’t warrant having, and it’s all because they have these fucking ridiculous Moari tattoos on their arm and shoulder….and most ridiculously of all, their calf.

Wise the fuck up, you daft cunts.

It’s not cool, it’s not hard, and when you are old and wrinkly, as well as fat, white and blotchy, you’ll look like an even bigger prick.

Get a Bazooka gum transfer instead if you need some ink.

Nominated by: Dan

( and that Robbie Williams is a cunt too )



This ebola virus thing is a right cunt. Apparently incurable until some stupid yanks and brits catch it and get flown home for treatment with a drug that doesn’t exist because there’s no known cure.

If the end of the world is coming can we please get on with it? Too many people occupying too little land with not enough food. Something has to give. Nature needs to reset the balance. I had great hopes for Aids but that fizzled out. Maybe ebola is the answer?

Here’s a thought: Why don’t we round up all the infected people and fly them to Iraq and Syria to join the jihad? Makes perfect sense. Much cheaper than military intervention.

Expect some cunt will come up with a cure if it ever reaches America – which it will if they keep flying their own people home for treatment with that non-existent drug they’ve got. Stupid cunts.

Apocalypse Now. Keep calm and watch Brad Pitt movies…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Alex Salmond [6]


Alex Salmond has fallen. It is customary for the political classes to come together to heap paens of praise upon their fellows whom they despise the most when they have come a cropper. Such a moment has again come in British political life. It is now Salmond’s turn to drink from that insincere and poisoned chalice as our leaders deliver their eulogeous obituaries. As a student orf history and as one who has lived through many such events in a blessedly long and cuntakerous life, may I add a few thoughts in honour orf the man.

Salmond, you fuck faced bulging eyed tosser, you have made it your living to dredge up every last racist prejudice from the sullen constituency orf resentful retards that you represent. Over the years you have pandered to their failure and like some jocko Hitler, have nurtured their festering inadequacy into a howling mob and unleashed it upon the English. You promised them a tartan paradise and like so many shite arsed jocko warlords before you have led them to ignominious defeat. Welcome to your Culloden you cunt.

On occasion you have a certain celtic fluidity with the English language and in the ears of your followers, the facility to turn shite into gold. Only problem is old sport that under the penetrating eye orf the television camera the ready smile and the generous bonhomie that you effect when it suits you is revealed to be as fake as fuck and merely the well worn artifice orf a professional politician. In faith, you come acrorss as a smug cunt. Like any true Scotsman you are the first to take English gold and all the trappings that come with your grace and favour lifestyle.

Worth noting that the cunt has been on the left wing trot and awkward squad wing orf the SNP and a long time devotee orf the socialist/republican cadre within it, hence Her Majesty’s dismay at any hint orf referendum success. Much has been made orf the cunt’s childless marriage to a woman 17 years his senior and I make no comments over claims orf impotence but I merely observe that that wobbly gut on the cunt coupled with a small cock makes for a simple natural method orf birth control.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Costadinos Contostavlos


Costadinos Contostavlos, better known by his stage name Dappy, is a violent retarded chav cunt who can’t seem to grasp living in a modern society where women are not ‘bitches’, ignoring a chav cunt is not ‘disrespek innit’ and dressing like a welfare recipient who has just had a major giro error in their favour is not a fashion statement for turning up in court on ABH charges…again.

The pathetic little prick can’t seem to keep his fists to himself for more than five minutes whenever he gets let out of the secure ward with his gaylord homies (or is that homos?) and unleashes it’s talentless fucktardeness on an unsuspecting population.

And to make it worse, it is the sibling of crap knob gobbler and equally talentless chav spoontard Tulisa.

Stupid, stupid cunts. Their father must be so proud.

Nominated by: Odin’s Balls

Dappy. Talentless little wannabee gangsta who thinks he’s a member of the crips.
Amazes me that the weedy little Greek managed to throw a punch without being battered senseless. Truly the worst export from Greece since Nana Mousskouri, with the possible exception of his slapper of a cousin.

The boy deserves a one way trip to the showers in D wing

Nominated by: Toadspanker