PhotoKate

There have been a few ‘gates’ over the years. Cunters will no doubt recall the likes of Watergate, Irangate and Whitewatergate, not to mention our very own (much more recent) Party gate.

All of these are eclipsed however by the very latest bombshell to hit the news; a saga the like of which hasn’t been seen since the abdication crisis, and which has plunged the Royal Family and the nation into utter turmoil.

I refer of course to what I’ll term ‘Photogate’. In a calculated and cynical attempt to deceive the world, Princess Catherine issued a picture of herself and her children, wishing everyone a happy Mother’s Day. Immediately the media sensed that something wasn’t right. A massive investigation began, leading to a shocking, staggering conclusion. The image had been ‘altered’, leading many news agencies to withdraw it from circulation.

Just what the hell was going on? Clearly sinister forces were at work here, and a global furore erupted. Just what was the Palace trying to hide? Was the princess much sicker than we’d told? Was the ‘doctored’ photo hiding the fact that a body double was in play, Putin style? Did the original image reveal signs that the princess was part lizard woman? Has she been abducted by aliens?

A statement has now been released, claiming to come from the princess herself. This says that she’s an amateur photographer herself, and that she often ‘tweaked’ photos on her computer, which was the case here. It concluded with an apology for any confusion.

Pathetic and deceitful. This just won’t wash, particularly as the palace refuses to disclose the original picture. The ‘deep state’ is clearly at work here, and will resort to any measure to keep the facts from the people.

Well I say this. We are entitled to the truth. A conspiracy of silence will no longer suffice. The nation which survived the worst that Hitler could throw at us can take it, however bad it is. We should be told.

The Sun

Nominated by Ron Knee.

Primary School Kids Still Not Toilet Trained (2)

Sending your kids to school in nappies.
Really? If you do this, you really are a cunt.

The Independent

I almost didn’t believe this, but I asked Aunty Google, and it’s true.
Not only are some parents sending their kids to school only partly toilet trained, but some roll up with a pack of pull-up and wipes, and seem to think it’s not only the teachers job to clean shitty arses, but also to complete the toilet training.

Fucking unbelievable! I’d reserve the right of any teacher to refuse a place at the school for any child aged 5 who wasn’t ( excluding the odd accident) fully toilet trained.

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

Hate Speech

This courtesy of our friend, Justin Welby. The old Etonian who lives in a palace and wants our country swamped with Muslims and Africans.

‘The Most Rev Justin Welby said he had heard MPs and members of the Church of England making hateful comments “in the last few weeks” without specifying the incidents he was referring to.’

How intriguing.

MSN

As I see it, hate speech is anything said that the left, the woke or the esteemed Archbishop doesn’t agree with.

Women cant have bollocks – hate speech.

Calling a bloke dressed up him – hate speech and misgendering. (Surely misgendering is having bollocks and claiming to be a woman?)

Any criticism of Islam – hate speech and of course blasphemy although this doesn’t seem to apply to Christian views which are fair game. As are Jews.

Deploring the masses continually demonstrating against Israel and for Hamas – hate speech.

Anything remotely critical of all the fucking Gay Pride events – hate speech.

However anything denigrating whites, Britain, our heritage is fine. Just try denigrating blacks, Islam or the aid dependency of Africa and you are fucked.

Is there a legal definition?
Fuck knows.

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

The Russian Presidential “Election”

EMERGENCY CUNTING

Voting is underway today to elect the next President of Russia. Unsurprisingly the current tyrant, Vladimir Putin is expected to win a fifth term in office.

Hardly surprising when you allegedly murder the opposition candidate. So what’s on the ballot paper?

“Register your vote as follows :
(1) Vlad the warmonger
(2) Take me to a Siberia gulag and kill me
REMEMBER your vote is not confidential and you MUST vote”

Yeah… tough decision…

BBC News

Nominated by: Dioclese

North Face and White Guilt

North face or should that be north farce..

The company that brought you the summer of pride with a drag queen.

Now go further with a promise of 20 percent off, if you own your white privilege..

Go online and listen to a hour long lecture, of why it’s your fault ethnics don’t go to the countryside..

Pass a quick quiz and that discount will be yours..

Personally I would rather don a black sack than one of their overpriced jackets..

So keep digging north face, the bottom can’t be to far..

The Standard

Nominated by: Barry zuckercunt