British Ham Sandwich

The British Ham Sandwich is a massive Cunt.

Just try taking one to Holland, the border cunts will impound it immediately.

They are high on drugs and have the munchies. Take one laced with Marmite, one bite and the cunts will escort you to the next border.

Nominated by: Germancunt 

The Republican Party

The Republican party is a spineless cunt.

Trump is the only reason they won in 2016. They wont win again if they abandon Trumpism.

They are a dead duck. Fuckem.

The war on Brexit was mirrored in the States with the complete refusal to accept his Presidency. Make no mistake its the same war.

Nominated by: Smug cunt

…and this from Allan

You wouldn’t have believed it could happen in the United States, the land of the free, but a landslide Republican victory was somehow nullified and overturned by voter fraud, deception and fake news. The Democrats, knowing full well they were going to lose, pulled out all the stops and employed every underhand trick in the book. Millions of people voted illegally including some who had already died, votes for the country’s saviour Donald Trump were deleted and machines were fixed so that Republican votes were turned into Democrat votes. Added to the total were votes from non-citizens and people bused in undercover from neighbouring states. All of this took place under the noses of incompetent Republican election officials from Georgia to Arizona, every single one of whom naively claimed that no fraud took place.

When Trump’s lawyers went to the courts to protest about this flagrant injustice, their cases were dismissed by corrupt state and federal judges, some of whom he had appointed himself. Then ten House Republicans were bribed to vote to impeach this unfairly maligned Christian even though everyone knew he had done nothing wrong. We all know what happened two thousand years ago. This was history repeating itself.

You have to ask yourself how all this illegal chicanery could be allowed to take place, after all we’re not talking about a banana republic here. The blame must lie with Trump’s aides who were inexcusably complacent, they should have expected these dirty tricks and been ready to counteract them. The Democrats succeeded in usurping a great American patriot and portraying him to the world as an unstable narcissist. He was let down badly by his so-called friends, his advisors and his legal team. It’s a tragedy that his selfless hard work and magnificent achievements will be disparaged and confined to oblivion through no fault of his own. We are left with no option but to conclude that the citizens of America didn’t deserve him.

In retrospect, this has been a modern day story of betrayal, treachery and blatant opportunism. You just couldn’t make it up.

PSD2 – Secondary Card Purchase Authority

What an absolute cunt rule the EU foisted on us with this one!

You might have come across it. The EU, in their infinite all knowing god-like wisdom decreed from the ivory tower that is Brussels that the plebeians all across their jurisdiction needed more protection from financial fraud. Their gift to us all: PSD2, a rule that the security number on the back of a credit card won’t suffice and that a secondary security method must be added.

However, a bit like their equally cuntish “cookies policy”, there is no specific implementation detail. Some financial firms are better than others in the implementation. Unfortunately, there seems to be little option for me but to continue dealing with some of those that have made a pigs ear out of it. Like a site where it could take you ten minutes to “get rid of the cookie bollocks”, as opposed to others where a simple mouse click makes it go away, some financial firms have made PSD2 excruciatingly painful.

So what does a “good firm do”? They ask how you would like the secondary PIN – via email, landline or mobile. Most of the firms I am stuck with though insist on mobile only and, when I’m at home “Internet Shopping” I have no frigging mobile signal. “We are texting you a PIN and valid for 5 minutes”: shoes on, run up the lane waving mobile above my head like a lunatic hoping to catch a bit of a signal, text drops in, run home, shoes off and rush to key the code in, out of breath but 30 seconds to spare – swear about the bl**dy, f**king, w@**ing, cunts that are the EU ….and relax!

PSD2 is a cunt but like the cookie law, and countless other EU sh1te that I voted to get binned, BRINO ain’t going to get rid of it any time soon!

Nominated by: mikdys

The Pembrokeshire Murders

Being out in Rhodesia away from my native Pembrokeshire I often used to miss out on the local news and gossip, but these crimes actually made headlines further afield than Manorbier Golf course, when Rosemarket’s finest decided to go around burgling the locality, and had no qualms about eliminating any fucker who got in his way.

The old cunt should of got the rope (or shotgun blast to the face for poetic justice), but no, ITV have decided to glorify the killing spree of this cunt in a 3 part drama that appears to be also a multi coloured shit show of dar quay detectives (which I can assure you cunters most definitely don’t exist in Pembrokeshire) and ego stroked cunts who managed to catch a man who was blatantly guilty and just needed the last bit of DNA for the sealed conviction.

So far the chief constable (a dar quay of course) has given permission for the review, with interspersed scenes of John “I’m not a murderer” Cooper playing fucking darts and moping around cell.

I hope the thing gets more interesting, I wonder if they dramatise the part of him getting arrested up in Letterston, that footage makes me laugh like fuck, anyway I know the ending, sentenced to life of 3 square meals and sky tv, not much justice for his victims there,

What a cunt ITV is for glorifying him, cunts!!!!

Nominated by: Captain Quimson

Coon Cheese

The Aussie cheese brand, which has been around for over 80 years, has decided to change its name after pressure from the usual mob.

My first thought was, ‘Well probably fair enough if they named way back when in such a way for a laugh,’ but it seems that is not the case.

Coon was just the surname of the original boss of the firm. Basically, you can’t name your company after yourself now if it offends some dull cunt.

I hear they’re now going to name it after one of the original owner’s nephews, a Mr. Biglips McJigaboooo.

God knows how this nom will work in WordPress, my apologies in advance, admin.

(Indeed. Please use your appalling imaginations when using the “c” word if you don’t want your comment to end up in the MQ – DA)

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks