Dead Pool [21]

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* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Shaun of the Dead who came up on the rails to win by a short head on Sir Peter O’Sullevan. I nearly disallowed it because Peter O’Sullivan is still alive and kicking. That would have been petty just because you’re a cunt who can’t spell!

So well played, Shaun. Second scalp for you – one more to join the elite team of three time winners.

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 21.

Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Walter Palmer

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I’d like leave to rush through an emergency cunting of Minnesota dentist Walter Palmer.

Now I’m not normally one to jump on bandwagons or engage in witch hunts but I will make an exception for this small dicked cunt. For those not aware he is an American who paid $50 000 to shoot a lion with a crossbow . What the fuck for you may ask. Well other than he has psychopathic tendencies and can only get a hard on when he is engaged in killing something , I have no idea.

What a fucking CUNT !

Nominated by: The Cunt Factor

This particular treatment for the aforementioned cunt came to mind. Not sure why 😉

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Nominated by: Dioclese

Fifty grand to shoot some old pelt with a crossbow? What a tosser. In me day I was taking oit tiger with me Lee Enfield bolt action. Only got once chance with one orf those if old tigger got wind orf you first and pounced. Play the whiteman. Give the beast a sporting chance donchaknow. Bastard bearers would invariably leg it leaving me on me todd. Nature red in tooth and claw. Would rather not supply the red so had an old large bore elephant gun as backup.

Problem is those bastards had a kick that would put one on one’s arse and accuracy was not a strong point. Generally whatever took a hit was blown to pieces – head/arse/bollocks, – and bang goes me trophy. Blood bone and guts all over the shop.

Love to take that yank oit orn safari. Bush can be a very dangerous place and me old eyesight is not what it was.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Honey Boo Boo

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Fuck me. American Honey fucking Boo Boo and her (No. ‘its’) TLC reality TV show grotesque fat turd paedo nonce loving excuse for a mother. I suppose empty headed American morons like watching and following “reality TV” featuring obnoxious depraved and obese family people such as this fat Boo Hoo or ‘Mama June’ with their slabs of lard performing kiddie sprogs. There again MOST Americans are overweight, obnoxious and depraved.

The only way I could cunt this fat arsed Boo Boo lot is to spit in their faces with contempt if I ever had the misfortune of them passing by me in the street.

Nominated by: Entopy

Honey Boo Boo’s Mama June, thats her name. Doesn’t she look like jabba the hutt if somebody does a cunting, do a side by side pic of jabba the hutt and ‘mama june’.

Nominated by: Titslapper

Your wish is my command…
Mama Jabba

Security stewards

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Jobsworth security stewards are cunts….

These minimum wage monkeys in high visibility jackets are pig ignorant, power mad wankers… Little Hitler syndrome isn’t in it…. At Old Trafford these cunts are the scum of the earth…. Throwing people out for singing, standing up or bringing in flags (unless you’re the untouchable Glazer stooge cunt, Tufty, with your crappy and tasteless ‘official’ banners: like that dreadful ‘Chosen One’ monstrosity for Moyes)…. These cunts even stopped an elderly away fan bringing in his crutches…

But these bastards are everywhere these days…. Acting like the Gestapo on crack if a player celebrates a goal with the fans… Wading in as if Jack Kennedy has been shot for a second time… These thugs also throw a fit if someone dances a little jig at a concert… I know Elton John can be a cunt, but he was right to bollock one of these steward Nazis when they got tough with a fan dancing at one of his gigs…. These power mad twats using the health and safety crap to get up to all sorts of nastiness need a good kicking… I never thought I’d say this, but I would rather go back to when the cozzers did matchday security….

Nominated by: Norman

Barbara Windsor [3]

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I know that most people consider Barbara Windsor a ‘national treasure’, but most people are fucking wrong. What she is, is an annoying, talentless, mockney shitbag, with all the charm, wit and charisma of a rotting corpse. She ruined ever Carry On film she was in with her shite acting and her annoying laugh. And will fucking despise the bitch to my dying day because of that. What the fuck did Sid James see in her?

I’ve never watched Eastenders, so she really didn’t get on my nerves during tenure on that show. But she annoys me greatly in those shitty Jackpot Joy adverts. On their own they’re bad enough, but with this ancient harpy in them they take shite down to a whole new level. Since the ridiculous twat shows no signs of pegging out any time soon, I have no choice but to nominate her for a cunting.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw