Use the comments section below to write up your cunt for a nomination.

We won’t write your cunt up for you. If you can’t be fucking bothered, neither can we – so don’t be a cunt by submitting a one liner

The admins will review this page periodically and will either
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3. Decide it’s not appropriate!

After reviewing the nomination, it will be deleted so when it disappears from this page then you know it’s been actioned.

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This system makes it easier and quicker to find nominations and for admin to control them. The site receives several hundred comments a day as it’s a chore ploughing through them all. It should also help keep comments on the front page on topic.

[1] Posting in all lower case triggers the spam filter and automatically consigns your comments to oblivion.
[2] Don’t be a lazy cunt and use an eMoji as a name ‘cos it just gets binned and you’re wasting your time and ours.
[3] Write a nomination not War and Peace. We have to read it to check the content and we have better things to do! “Brevity is the soul of wit


27 thoughts on “Nominations

  1. Paddy English football fans are cunts…
    There’s nothing more irritating than some Bogtrotting twat from Potatoland gobbing off and moaning throughout a football match… These wankers always talk their shite loudly, they think they have a divine right to support United because of George Best, and they never, ever shut the fuck up… Think Alf Garnett’s Mick mate, Michael, in United megastore tat and you’ll get the picture… The celebrity type are also cunts too… That twat, Eamonn Holmes milking Fergie’s recent bad health… All over the media, squawking ‘I’m praying for my pal Sir Alex, So I am’…. What a fucking media whore cunt and a ‘lifelong red’? What part of Manchester or Salford is that fat cunt from?! and Dermot O’ Leary is as bad being a plastic Gooner… Hardcore Arsenal lifers must despise this cunt… Bullshitting about Wenger, saying how he cried twice when Wenger said his farewells at the Emirates? Fuck off!

    And don’t get me started on English cunts who go around wearing Barcelona or Real Madrid shirts… Those pricks are just as bad….

  2. Gym Culture

    I need to cunt gym culture, mrs fistula has been nagging me for ages to join one . After being inducted i decided i hated the place. Back in the day people were hunter gatherers and gained strength physically and mentally simply through hard work and trying to survive. Now we have these temples dedicated to extreme narcissism and self obsession . The Gym is certainly not a great meeting of minds but automatons who run from machine to machine like hamsters on a fucking wheel. soulless monotonous House disco beats are pumped out endlessly on a loop and the cunts don’t even notice. No-one speaks to each other, don’t talk to me , i’m only here to be admired. The women are completely asexual , their sex drive has been replaced by pumping iron with their flat chests and boyish bodies , hell, i would rather fuck some fat dirty slag down the pub. Don’t tell Mrs Fistula that.

  3. David Miliband:

    This freeloading *charity* worker, who gets paid more than the Prime Minster, the original Blair arse-licker who thankfully fucked off to America four years ago *to ‘earn’ his charity wages seems to be returning to Britain again to push his anti-Brexit views on us

    No doubr Mandy and Chuka will be having wet dreams at the thought of this Poundland Blair taking over *their* party again, but the little cunt is as welcome as a wet fart in a wedding dress to mosr of us who don;t give a fuck what he thinks about anything

  4. Emergency Cunting Request for David Milliband.

    After doing a pram-chuck when his Wallace lookalike brother beat him and Ed Balls-up in a leadership race, and slinking off as some quango in the States, this cunt is now back to further put the boot in on democracy and further interfere with Brexit.

    This unwanted guttersnipe is back to bolster his own face in UK politics. We know what you’re doing David and – to use a May-ism – let me be clear, no cunt wants you anywhere near Westminster, let alone parliament!

    So please feel free to fuck off and take you co-conspirator traitors Nick Clegg and Nikki Morgan with you!

    What’s the plan Dave, reboot Noo-Liebour and fetch back untrustworthy cunts like Harriden Harmon, et. al., to further hand over democracy to the 4th Reich and import even more “peaceful” votes no matter the cost to the British public?

    No chance! We were well rid off you back then. We don’t need you now. So please feel free to find the next plane to your hole in the States and fuck off! Cunt!


    Today marks the 75th anniversary of the Dambusters raid on the two dams alomg the Ruhr valley.

    53 men died and three were captured in 617 Squadrons brave and gallant effort to disrupt Hitlers heartland.

    Many lives were lost in the First and Second World Wars in order to preserve the freedom, liberty and rights of of the people of this once great country. Twice Germany were defeated by the brave actions of our (abd other nations) armed forces.

    And for what exactly? So that Tony Blair can just give our country away to the European Union without any respect or reference to the peoples of the country.

    The first opportunity the electorate were given to leave the unelected 4th Reich, the majority of the population voted to leave the corrupt, bullying, undemocratic, abhorrent gravy train otherwise known as the European Union.

    Due to to nothing more than the traits otherwise known as ignorance, the “I’m all right Jack” mentality so fuck everyone else”, political correctness, corporate and oersonal greed and weakness by those the supposedly representing the peoples of this contry) everything achieved in both world wars and the lives lost would appear to be in vain and for nothing as our leaders seem intent on simply handing our country away to the nasty bully boys of the EU.

    What gives these unelected fucking pricks the right and how dare they treat our country (and other EU countries) with complete contempt, ridicule and scorn for having the nerve to not do exactly as they want and to followi their demands of their failing project?

    And how dare Theresa May and the government and everyone else connected with the Remain campaign listen ti wgat tgey have to say and the right to try and change the democratic result of the EU referendum and the will of the majority of the people?

    Just fucking leave now.

    • Excellent nomination there mate. Couldn’t have put it better myself. It wasn’t just that slimy traitor Blair who gave our country away. Mandelson urged that piece of shit not to give us a referendum on EU membership because we, “couldn’t be trusted to give the right answer”, and in the even slimier traitor Mandelson’s mind, the right was, “yes, we want to stay in the EU”. He’s been surprisingly quiet of late, but I have no doubt this former EU Commissioner will be working hard to protect his taxpayer funded EU pension behind the scenes.

      It was Major who really started the ball rolling with him signing the Maastricht treaty and the Treaty of the Functioning of the European Union, which were the two treaties that effectively created the EU. After Blair, Brown sloped off and signed another treaty not only without the permission of the British people, but in the full knowledge that we had told him in no uncertain terms NOT to sign it. I firmly believe that the only reason Cameron gave us a referendum at all, is because being an arrogant Eton toff, he firmly believed that we would be stupid enough to believe that he brought a good deal from Brussels during his shambolic ‘renegotiations’. I would love to have seen his face when the result came through. I can just imagine the disbelief, followed by anger, that we had audacity to shove his ruse up his arse. Then there was his petulant display when he announced he was quitting as PM. At least now he has plenty of time to skull fuck dead pigs.

      As each day passes, I find myself becoming increasingly convinced that we will not get the Brexit we voted for. May is too weak, too indecisive and too much in the Remain camp to do what has to be done, walk away.

  6. Already bagged the old cunt for the Pool. He’s having open heart surgery in Mexico so fancy me chances.

  7. The thing that got me about it was the guns. When did the British police start carrying handguns in shoulder holsters, or any kind of holster for that matter? Firearms units carry guns, the clue is in their name. As far as I’m aware though, the National Crime Agency doesn’t. Couldn’t help noticing that as well as the two leads being black, the bad guys were white.

  8. I would like to submit a cunting for: The new Mini.

    Where I live I have to drive on a single track lane for 2 or 3 miles to get out of my village. Mostly every day I see Range Rovers (a cunting in itself) and Minis. MINIS? On a country lane, so .. fucking .. many .. of .. them. WHY?!?!

    Have you ever driven one? (I used to work in a place driving all kinds of cars). The buttons in them are all like retro switches from the 60s. The speedometer is a huge garish thing taking up loads of room. It’s like a disturbed teenage art student designed it.

    And always the people driving them are the kind of people who have to try and be “cool”. OOh look at me I need validation, oh look at my things. The kind of people who wear scarves and glasses even though it’s hot and they can see properly. Fucking cunts.

    And the Mini One, WTAF the thing is bigger than a Land Rover. How do so many people not have any sense of self-awareness of irony?

    Why are there so fucking many of them?! Why are there so many annoyingly moronic people perfectly prepared to go into thousands of pounds of debt to buy an overpriced car because they mistakenly think it’s cool. Why? Because they are cunts.

    • Accidentally stumbled through the annual Mini run London to Brighton last Sunday. A good showing of original minis (me one eyed uncle had one in the ’60s and used to blast up and down alpine passes in it all weathers – hard on the arse but the road holding!!) with an early barn find (1960) full of original chicken and rat shit on sale for 3.5 grand. Groups of mechies wanking over it, taking selfies and much talk as to how to get the concrete shit out while leaving the rust in place for originality.
      Sweet enough little motors though I could never get my old arse in one. As to the later yank designed and kraut built mini tanks could not blow the bloody bastards doors off fast enough. Now a second version even bigger with bizarre double doors either side (one big one small) and a barn door tailgate. The Panzer Mini. Huge ugly cunt with ’70s Amstrad music centre instrumentation. Could lever me old arse into one orf those agreed but would not be caught dead. There’s a thought, the bastards are big enough for a hearse.
      Good news is you can by a re-fettled original mini in ace condition for about 3-4 grand, a fraction of the cost of a Panzer.
      And raise a fond glass to me uncle Victor, the late great crazy one eyed old cunt.

  9. Barbecue lovers are cunt…
    For once we get a bit of decent weather, so one hopes to do a bit of quiet gardening and the like… Some fucking hope… There’s always some cunts who get out the barbecue as soon as it hits 20 degrees… They invite a load of other cunts (who they usually hate and fight with when pissed on a night out), the wimmin just yadder endless babbling shite, they play horrendous music, there’s loads of shittty kids in tow, a screeching baby, and, of course, the bloke who ‘takes over’ when it’s barbi time, but deos fuck all cooking for the rest of the year… Said cunt talks very loudly in a ‘Look at me! I’m in charge!’ way with all that ‘Order up!’ and ‘It’s ready, guys!’ bollocks… They can fuck the frig right off…

  10. Can you believe that the BBC need cunting AGAIN?!
    Well yes you probably do. Because they’re colossal cunts of the worst kind!

    Their cuntitude is well documented amongst these great annals and I’m sure they’ll be many more displays of pure, unadulterated, lefty cuntishness to add to the pool in the future, but today it’s the defamation and slander of Trump that they’re on the block for…
    I’m not a huge fan of Trump, but credit where credit’s due, and he’s doing a good job.
    Better than killary could’ve managed anyway.
    But this pisses off the lefties SO FUCKING MUCH that they now have to blatantly lie and unashamedly fraud the public, knowing full well that the vast majority will find out.
    They’re so desperate to find something bad on trump that they’re willing to blatantly LIE to push their debunked narrative…

    This is what trump said:

    “We have people coming into the country, or trying to come in — and we’re stopping a lot of them — but we’re taking people out of the country. You wouldn’t believe how bad these people are. These aren’t people. These are animals. And we’re taking them out of the country at a level and at a rate that’s never happened before.”

    The BBC cunt (I don’t want to know the dumb cunts name) turned to Jordan Peterson and said:
    “Just to explain, this is Donald Trump talking about illegal immigrants”.

    So you have the answer.

    You have the BBC’s interpretation of the answer.

    But what was the question that he was answering?

    Sheriff mimms:
    “There may be MS-13 gang members that I know about, but if they don’t reach a certain criteria, I can’t tell ICE about them.” (Roughly).
    ( ICE is: Institute of Civil Engineers.
    Oh sorry,
    Immigration and Customs Enforcement).

    So where do his remarks elude to immigration?


    MS-13 ARE FUCKING ANIMALS AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM SHOULD BE …. well …. aherm …. suggestions below …

    It’s not just the BBC (though they top the tables in cunt-ridden, lefty, bollocks peddlers).
    EVERY fucking lefty in the western hemisphere has latched onto this and made the same accusation …

    Fake news, fake news, fake news ….

    Cunt news more like….

  11. José Mourinho is a cunt. Again.

    Not content with playing the dullest football the Premiership has experienced this year, he wants to blame everybody else for losing the FA Cup final.

    Of course it’s not his fault, it’s everybody else’s. His team of spiritless cunts have talent, yet he prefers to instill an attack so impotent, so bereft of dare and beauty that he might as well have castrated the whole sorry bunch of spoilt millionaires.

    Furthermore, why does his peremptory loftiness constantly receive the kiss-arse treatment from reporters? “José, how do you feel, José, was it a penalty?” The piss-poorest, most unctuous “journalism” I’ve witnessed, simply to flatter this egotistical, waxy turd of a man.

    He had a meltdown at Chelsea, he had a meltdown at Real Madrid. Let’s hope this cowardly cunt’s next one is imminent. If not, take some fucking responsibility for your drab, craven style and drink some cement, you oily, stroke-faced, parsimonious cunt.

  12. Morris dancers.
    It’s Most probably been done before but Morris dancers I hate with a passion. What do they think they look like jumping up and down tapping sticks the cunts. I was late getting somewhere so took a short cut through a little village with one pub and what happens , they shut the road for 10 minutes so these cunts could show how good they was, if it wasn’t for the fact dried blood is hard to get of your motor when it’s dry I would have done the cunts, oh calm down.

  13. Tribute acts. What a pile of wank.
    What is the point? They are not the real thing so who are they fooling? Why not just be a covers band. Nothing wrong with that, but no we have to have tributes. And a lot of the cunts are tributes to what was utter shite in the first place – Spice Girls, Take That, Robbie fucking Williams. Just when you think popular music has reached rock bottom you see a Little Mix tribute ‘band’, where ‘band’ means karaoke singers.
    And best of all there is a bunch of cunts called Definitely Maybe or something who are a tribute to the Beatles tribute act, Oasis. A tribute to a tribute.
    Cunts one and all.

  14. Ken Livingstone deserves another cunting.

    So, Red Ken has finally quit the Labour party. This, nasal voiced, squinty eyed, newt shagging piece of shit has been on suspension from the Labour party for the past few months, over yet another anti-Semitic outburst. His resignation letter contained this gem, and I quote;

    “I do not accept the allegation that I have brought the Labour Party into disrepute – nor that I am in any way guilty of anti-Semitism. I abhor antisemitism, I have fought it all my life and will continue to do so”.

    This guy is the poster boy for self delusion. Abhor anti-Semitism? Fuck off Ken, you have a long, sad, public history of making anti-Semitic remarks. And you have NOT fought it all your life, you lying cunt. The shiniest gem though, came today (Tuesday 22nd May), when he claimed that Seumas Milne wrote his tweets, and didn’t tell him NOT to talk about Hitler. What…the actual…fuck? Ken, you’re 72 years old for fucks sake. You shouldn’t NEED to be told not to talk about Hitler. We all know that the left are retarded, but Livingstone is taking the piss here. He clearly thinks we’re all as thick as he is.

    The only thing more disgusting than Livingstone himself, is Corbyn’s response to his old friend’s anti-Semitism. He’s spent months doing absolutely fuck all about Livingstone, probably in the hope it would all dye down and go away.

    “Ken Livingstone’s resignation is sad after such a long and vital contribution to London and progressive politics, but was the right thing to do.”

    That’s all Corbyn has to say about the resignation of his old mate. Livingstone is the epitome of everything that is wrong with Labour, a liar, a bigot, a vile, nasty and generally unpleasant excuse for a human being. And under his mate, Comrade Corbyn, his ilk have not only thrived, they are increasing, both in number and unpleasantness. Livingstone and his clones in momentum and the Labour party, are humanoid filth.

  15. Super Markets
    As a bloke who just like to shop and go, why every time a rock up at the till any till any store I have a cunt in front, a cunt who has just packed up the shopping then is surprised they need to pay, out comes the fucking bag out comes the bastard purse after 10 mins card found, do you have a loyalty card FUCK ME back in the purse CUNT. Old woman ohh its a lovely day just been to see my daughter blaah blahh just pay you old cunt and fuck off know ones interested.My turn at last do you need a bag -no shes in the car but I could use a pack of razors as ive grown a fucking beard waiting you ugly fucking cunt.

  16. Sophie ellis bextor. Is. A. Cunt.
    Having been out of the limelight for long enough sophie has decided enough is enough and has cosied up with a ukrainian orphanage full of “inspiring” orphans.
    Fuck me.
    Quite recently I commented on the ludicrous and apparently unquestionable practice of associating yourself with kids, which makes this cunting a bit of a golden egg… No less deserving though.
    So she’s got herself on the news complete with pictures of her being “lovely” to the orphans. She can even be seen helping them learn to read… Wasn’t aware that she could read and teach ukranian but there you go.
    If it’s all such a good cause, why isn’t she just giving them all her fucking money and moving in with them too?
    My heart bleeds over shit like this, it really does, but what an easy plugin for the fame hungry self obsessed it is.
    A bloody good thing the “insert child name here” army don’t have a cause at the moment, wouldn’t want a coverage conflict now, would we?
    I suppose this attitude makes me a selfish hater of children. Better batten down the storm shutters and stock up on supplies in case I get lynched going out in public…

  17. You know I am not going to pass this don’t you, although 97% right you fail to recognise some of the other shit they do including ground security in black opp extractions, yes fact quite often they have ground crew on the helicopters to try the impossible quick fix should it hit a problem.
    Another reason is the slap up grub they gave me in Brize Norton when I was off on my Hols

  18. Lynx Deodorant

    I can’t bear to breathe in this shite. Every time I smell it, I feel as if my nose has been viciously assaulted. It makes me heave. Anyone over the age of 15 who wears this needs to be sectioned and attended to by the men in white coats. Why would anyone want to smell like a sweaty year 8 boy’s changing room anyway? The adverts depict a daft bloke intensely spraying himself in this shite while he is surrounded by a load of wimmin all clucking round him. What a load of cobblers. This shite may as well be called ‘human repellent’ because when one chooses to wear it, they won’t have anyone within a five mile radius of them. Lynx is an abomination and whoever continues to produce it is a cunt.

  19. Baseball caps
    These are acceptable if you’re playing baseball…..
    But if you like to demonstrate your street cred cool by wearing the thing the wrong way round, then you’re a vacuous ignorant CUNT .most of these cunts don’t know what baseball is, they think it’s the name of the hat. Fuckwitted and ignorant and proud of it ? Then wear a baseball cap!,,

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