The Tank designed not to be used. Remember the poor sods in there.

This useless but highly expensive bastard has been around since the 1970s and is a mainstay of NATO forces. It is part of the immense German armaments industry (who knew they still had one ‘eh?) and at £4 million a pop supposed to be the last thing in such motors. Well they are so long as they remain oit orf combat. Talking about last things, the last thing the poor cunts crewing the bastards actually hear is indeed a pop followed by a sizzle then good night Vienna.
Have come to recent prominence because some dumb cunts ie the Turks have actually started to use them. Against fearsome opponents with state orf the art weaponry? Well a few clapped oit Toyota pick-ups with pipe mortars mounted in the back but supported by Blighty with whatever obsolete shite we can scrape together.

Thing is the Curds are blowing the shite oit orf ’em and that is not supposed to happen. £4 mill worth of armour plating reinforced with tungsten and depleted uranium. Twin diesels with a max orf 42mph (nippy for a tank). Very embarrassing. These dodgy motors are the mainstay orf NATO defence against the Russkies (and Comrade Ivan knows their capability). Very lethal. (Stop laughing Ivan)

Usual Kraut marketing, false performance figures coupled with brute force and bribery (Shurely not from the nation orf VW and BMW).

Not surprisingly there are rather a number of used Leopard II s aroinde for sale – not ex-battle field (scrap merchants only) but more ex-display models (Italian Forces ect ect). Indeed our Nato allies cannot get rid fast enough. Now hearing that the MOD is looking to replace our aging Challenger Tanks (a good tank despite faults, many orf which now ironed oit) the helpful Krauts have jack booted in and offered their own second hand rejects at a bargain price, £2 mill per pop. Response from the chinless cunts at the MOD? Fuck orf Krauty, not even if you chuck in an extra tank orf petrol? Not a bit orf it. Creaming their knickers at the prospect. Extra lubrication won’t make the bastards work better or safer though.

What the Krauts really want to do is get their mitts on the maintenance and spares contracts. Always lucrative in the military sphere particularly for a tank that gets blown up or stuck in a ditch whenever you use it. Bugger me though, Blighty has a tendency to use her tanks. A minor problem.

Clincher though is the role orf Brexit. Main Kraut bargaining chip. Pour your British pounds down our Euro sink hole and we well be minded to support you just an infinitesimally bit more in the negotiations. Sieg Heil! (Ja, das ist die neue Euro-Hymne)

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

A Cunting for disabled people who take advantage.

What set me off was watching a recording of the Calcutta Cup when they panned to the crowd to show a gentleman enthusiastically clapping a conversion from his wheelchair in the front row of the crowd….now nothing particularly wrong with that,you’d think,eh?… well apart from the fact that the old malingerer had his guide-dog next to him and was wearing dark glasses. If he was blind,why did he need one of the best seats in the house? If he was listening through an earpiece,well,they might as well have sat him at the back where it would have been easier to get him and his dog out in the event of an emergency.

I’ve since discovered that a lot of disabled people get into sporting events for free,not just free,but the best seats and a cheap pass for their carer. What a fucking disgrace. They’ll be getting their benefits and probably a free car too,so why should they get things on the cheap?

I’m aware that some disabled people have it hard,but if they can pluck up the vim to go sauntering into Murrayfield with their guide-dog,they can’t be taking a lot of harm…and if they can see enough to watch a game of rugby through dark glasses,I’d be questioning their need for a guide-dog,never mind subsidised admittance.

I also have quite strong views on the Mobility scheme that dishes out free cars to the disabled. Most of these cars seem to be used by family members,which they would be..I mean most disabled people don’t tend to go out for long country drives…unless they’re on the way to a free(for them) major sporting event,presumably. Even if they do need a car,why can’t they just pay for it out of their benefits,the same as most dole-wallahs use their benefits for tattoos,lottery-tickets and fast-food.?

Fuck them.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler.

I’d like to give a Cunting to people who contribute to “Crowdfunding” appeals set up to rescue cheap Cunts who can afford to go on holiday but apparently can’t afford insurance.

I’ve been reading about some coffin-dodging old biddy who needs flying back from a cruise in Mexico after some medical emergency ( can’t be arsed to look up the story again to see what actually ailed the old bag). Her family organised a Crowd funding appeal saying that the old trout thought that her insurance,which covered Europe only,would be sufficient ! Now I know that geriatrics can get confused,but the old sponger wasn’t too confused to book a cruise (probably used the winter heating payment and a discount coupon from the Sun).

Anyone who contributes to some appeal like this merely encourages these shameless scroungers to think that if they have some medical emergency some Good Samaritans will pay to fly their cheap arses home while they continue to soak up their benefit payments as well as using up valuable NHS resources when they do get home.

Well they’ll wait a long time before I’ll contribute a brass farthing to getting the bastards back. Let them stew in their own juices until any resources that they have squirrelled away are exhausted…either that or tell the fuckers to smuggle themselves back into the country in the trailer of a Polish wagon.

Fuck them.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler