Cookies. No, not the delicious biscuits, the internet cookies. What are they and why am I being asked to accept them on almost every website I go on? Am I missing something here? The language websites use to describe their function sure sounds sinister.
Nominated by OpinionatedCunt
Now me blood pressure has stabilised somewhat do me best to get this oit. Me old horseprong in full stiffy mode. Ice cubes dahn me drawers, quick jangle, deep breath and orf we jolly well.
‘Twas tuning into some BBC business programme orn the wireless expecting an update orn me investments from the usual old cunt but not a bit orf it. Replaced over night by some young tosser who could speak to da yoot as per latest BBC Mission Wank. Yoot accent and yoot brains ie totally self opinionated self aggrandising selfish know nothing cunt sounding like a low rent fuck you Lewis Hamilton with verbal diarrhoea. Endless stream orf actually very old hat California business speak. ‘Tis a cool cool world we live in me dears. Kept spitting oit “Gen Zee” this that and t’other. Bugger me butler.
A lifetime orf blood boiling in me old brain pan and a necessity to avoid terminal damage has generated it’s own cool solution. Yours Truly has been bald as a coot for years. Told it is a so contemporary look me dahlinks. ‘Aint nature wonderful. Now this Gen Zee bollocks. Not some old fuck stadiums only supergroup. Not a trending botanical tea or some fucking crap rapper. After setting me old cunt orf a butler orn the internet, I am informed, via various porn sites, that Gen Zee is not a trans pole dancer butYank Wank for Generation Z pronounced in alas, the Colonial manner. A generation that is supplanting the Pathetique orf the Millenials.
This is what me butler supplied to YT. Was going to do me own witty précis but could not be arsed so you get Another Epic Cunting By ect ect as per Huffington Post or it may be from The Perverts Press:
Generation Z, as they have been coined, consist of those born in 1995 or later. This generation makes up 25.9% of the United States population, the largest percentage, and contribute $44 billion to the American economy. By 2020, they will account for one-third of the U.S. population, certainly worth paying attention to.
A “Millennial” is a person reaching young adulthood around the year 2000.
Generation Z (also known as Post-Millennials, the iGeneration, Founders, Plurals, or the Homeland Generation) is the demographic cohort following the Millennials.
The difference between the two is important to know in order to prepare your business, shift marketing, adjust leadership, and adapt recruiting efforts to stay relevant for the future.
How Generation Z Differs from Millennials
1. Less Focused
Today relevant is constantly being refined and Gen Z lives in a world of continuous updates. Gen Z processes information faster than other generations thanks to apps like Snapchat and Vine. Thus their attention spans might be significantly lower than Millennials.
2. Better Multi-Taskers
Though Gen Z can be less focused than their Millennial counterparts, in school, they will create a document on their school computer, do research on their phone or tablet, while taking notes on a notepad, then finish in front of the TV with a laptop, while face-timing a friend. You get the picture.
Gen Z can quickly and efficiently shift between work and play, with multiple distractions going on in the background…working on multiple tasks at once. Talk about multi-multi-tasking. Just think about how this kind of flow might reshape the office.
3. Bargains
Millennials care more about prices than Gen Z. This is arguably because they came of age during the recession.
Sixty-seven percent of millennials surveyed said that they would go to the website to get a coupon, whereas only 46% of Gen Z polled said they would do the same.
Millennials also tend to click on more ads; 71% of Millennials in a recent poll said they followed an advertisement online before making a purchase, however only 59% of Gen Z’ers said the same.
4. Gen Z is Full of Early Starters
Many employers are predicting that more teens, between the ages of 16 and 18 will go straight into the workforce, opting out of the traditional route of higher education, and instead finishing school online, if at all. Would you make a major investment, possibly leading to years of debt to come—knowing there are new, more affordable (not to mention more convenient) online alternatives coming up every day?
As we’ll discuss later in this post, Gen Z knows the true value of independence, and knowledge is no exception here. If a Gen Z’er knows they are capable of learning something themselves, or through a more efficient, non-traditional route, you can bet they’ll take the opportunity.
5. Gen Z Is More Entrepreneurial
According to Gen Z marketing strategist Deep Patel, “the newly developing high tech and highly networked world has resulted in an entire generation thinking and acting more entrepreneurially.” Generation Z desires more independent work environments. As a matter of fact, 72% of teens say they want to start a business someday.
One apparent recurring factor you might notice throughout this post, is that many Gen Z identifying factors can be traced back to the recession in 2008, from their frugality, to their value of experiences, and increased likelihood to become entrepreneurs. This is an interesting note to take down.
6. Gen Z Has Higher Expectations Than Millennials
Millennials remember playing solitaire, coming home to dial-up internet and using AOL.Generation Z was born into a world overrun with technology. What was taken as amazing and inspiring inventions, are now taken as a given for teens.
“When it doesn’t get there that fast they think something’s wrong,” said Marcie Merriman, executive director of growth strategy at Ernst & Young. “They expect businesses, brands and retailers to be loyal to them. If they don’t feel appreciated, they’re going to move on. It’s not about them being loyal to the business.”
7. Gen Z Is Big On Individuality
Gen Z’ers were born social. In fact, nearly 92% of Gen Z has a digital footprint. Arguably as a result of the celebrities and media they follow, Gen Z seeks uniqueness in all walks of life primarily through the brands they do business with, future employers, etc.
8. Gen Z Is More Global
Millennials were considered the first “global” generation with the development of the internet, but as more of the world comes online — Generation Z will become more global in their thinking, interactions, and relatability. 58% of adults worldwide ages 35+ agree that “kids today have more in common with their global peers than they do with adults in their own country.” Diversity will be an expectation of Generation Z.
After asking people “Would you call yourself addicted to your digital devices? (computer, smartphone, etc.),” we found Gen Z’ers are 25% more likely than Millennials to say they are addicted to their digital devices. A full 40% of Gen Z are self-identified digital device addicts.
This generation grew up with technology, and for them, it’s probably hard to go without their devices. If this younger generation is constantly on their phones or devices and not watching as much live TV, we may experience a massive shift in advertising methods and marketing messages.
Simply put these are mewling selfish gits that have grown up online and think life is a digital account. Flying Pussies ready for the plucking by us old analogue cunts. What Ho! And good shooting (online only). Or is Gen Zee the latest North Korean Dictator?
Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke
Came home tonight with a view to having a lovely wet shave, so I’d look smart and like at least a facsimile of a person that knows what they’re doing in work tomorrow.
Obviously I hadn’t accounted for the fact that Wilkinsons are utterly incapable of selling a razor that clips into one of their cunting handles for more than 6 months on the trot. Took my disposable razor out and tried to clip it into the holder. It was about as compatible as me and the baking peaceful off the Beeb. ‘Not to worry’, I thinks to myself. ‘I’ve got the other Wilkinsons handle too. What could go wrong?’
Well – it went wrong.
So, I’m left with twenty rips worth of useless razors, two even more useless handles and I look like Phil Mitchell when he became a crackhead.
Avaricious cunts.
I can see why these young cunts grow these stupid beards now, it’s not a fashion statement, the poor cunts can’t afford to shave!
Nominated by Mecha-Rigsby
I think it’s fair to say that most nominations on this esteemed site are made very much in anger and frustration at the cock-eyed world in which we live. For once, I write not in anger but in sorrow, for legendary rockers AC/DC are (effectively) no more, and it’s a cunt.
The kings of rock an’ roll have been blowing away crowds everywhere for more than four decades. Nobody rips up the place like these boys, and anyone doubting their credentials when it comes to laying it down needs only reference the attached clip. This is 100% pure, pharmaceutical grade rock an’ roll, injected straight into the vein, so accept no substitutes. If you can keep your feet still when they let rip, God has wasted two legs on you. I rest my case, m’lud.
Be of no doubt then, that AC/DC are the dog’s bollocks, the Real McCoy. But as Geoffrey Chaucher once wrote, time and tide wait for no man, and the years have finally caught up with AC/DC. Hard driving rhythm guitarist and songwriter Mal Young is dead from dementia, aged 64. Singer Brian Johnson has been forced to quit due to chronic hearing difficulties (there’s a surprise), bassist Cliff Williams has put his feet up to enjoy his money, and drummer Phil Rudd seems to have disappeared off the radar. Only lead guitar monster and chief headbanger Angus Young still seems up for it.
There was talk of a new album with that preening knobhead Axl Rose on vocals, but I hope that Angus leaves it there. It would just be an echo, a pale shadow of former glories, just as a new Beatles album would have been without John and George.
They say ‘smile because it happened, don’t cry because it’s gone’, but it’s hard not to cry. No doubt some of you will have rumbled me by now. This ain’t just a lament about the demise of the world’s greatest rock an’ roll band. It’s a lament about the passing of the sweet bird of youth, those halcyon days of vigour and optimism when it seemed that the world truly was your oyster. Once gone they can never come back, and that too is an absolute cunt.
One thing’s for sure though. Rock an’ roll really can never die as long as there’s an AC/DC record left to be played. Thanks for all the music guys, and all the joy it’s brought to this knackered old rock an’ roller.
The kings have gone. Long live the kings.
Nominated by Ron Knee
This nomination is for the notion that artist’s works are their’s and their’s to do with as they please. It is primarily though a cunting for cognitive bias and hypocrisy. This cunting is a response to another cunter who thinks that Star Wars fans have no legitimate say in the creative direction of the franchise. You Sir are wrong, so very wrong. And here is why.
From this comment is seems clear that you have never seen The Last Jedi. Allow Sargon or MauLer to edify you as to the sheer wankitude of the movie. Both vids are informative and funny as fuck and both contain some spicy memes.
MauLer’s vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QJRw56cOVw
Sargon’s vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPsRp7uUXUk
I truly don’t think you appreciate the sheer ineptitude displayed by Kathleen Kennedy & co during the making of TLJ or their arrogant, indignant response to the ensuing consumer backlash.
I must also wonder – if you think that “artists” should ignore fan criticism of, and suggestions for improvement about their work, should they also ignore it when fans give them unrelenting, sycophantic praise and tell them that their work is perfect as it is? You can’t create your cake and eat it.
I put to you that it takes a sheer level of self-absorbed arrogance on the part of an arteest/entertainer to completely disregard the views and desires of the target audience (those who want to be entertained).
If an arteest wants to do their own thing irrespective of this then sure, play to a small niche audience who will blow smoke up your arse and make little-to-no money in the process, or sit at home entertaining yourself………. I sit at home and entertain myself at least three times a day but never do it on Chaturbate for money because I don’t need validation from anybody, I just need to entertain myself.
The fact is that a lot of arteests/creators/entertainers who go out into the public sphere to make money are often conflicted between the desire to peddle their wares in order to gain material wealth and the innate level of capricious, exhibitionist, self-aggrandisement which seems inherent in those in the entertainment industry. They are not known for their stoic humility or modesty don’t ya know!
The fact is that a lot of narcissistic creative types seem to view the relationship between themselves and the audience as one of host and parasite when it is anything but that. The relationship between entertainer and entertained is a symbiotic one; the host/entertainer cannot survive without guest/audience and the guest/audience cannot be entertained without a suitable host/entertainer.
The fact is that the original Star Wars trilogy was a timeless classic which spans generations – some of the greatest movies of their time. Without them the fandom would never have formed but the fact that an entire generation of young men (and women) coalesced around Star Wars does not mean that the likes of Kathleen Kennedy or Rian Johnson can just denigrate fans when they don’t tow the line or take them for granted as an entitlement like a political party takes demographic voting blocks for granted.
And that leads me to my democracy/free markets analogy.
Before I delve into my analogy I would just like to explain that I am not an EU-loving remainer and that I was a UKIP member who went out leaflet distributing on the campaign trail a few years back with my local UKIP PPC Suzanne Evans, voted UKIP for the local MEP, Council and General elections and voted to leave the EU and still believe that the will of the people should be respected and that the UK should leave the EU. With that out of the way, let me begin.
During my time with UKIP I did a lot of research into the UK’s flimsy, unwritten constitutional system of legal and judicial precedent and was also introduced by other members to the 1972 Foreign and Commonwealth Office document FCO 30/1048 which further explained and clarified the British constitutional arrangement regarding sovereignty both internal and external. (Look it up, it’s an interesting and insightful read)
Sovereignty is derived from power and power is achieved by force of coercion or violence and that is how we got to our current situation of constitutional monarchy we have today. Sovereignty in the UK can be categorised as follows:
External Sovereignty: The ability to initiate, negotiate, conclude and terminate international treaties such as the Treaties of Maastricht and Lisbon (the latter of which article 50 is a component). These sovereign powers are vested in the Crown/Monarch but delegated to, and exercised by, the Prime Minster and Cabinet in the form of informal, executive powers known as the Royal Prerogative – the legitimacy of which, after hundreds of years of constitutional, parliamentary tradition were only ever first contested in the High Court by Gina Miller pertaining to the Prime Minister triggering Article 50 pursuant to the UK terminating it’s participation in the Lisbon Treaty and said power of treaty termination was then subsequently delegated to Parliament as a case of internal sovereignty, but I digress.
In order for international treaties to take affect and for the effects to have legislative legitimacy within the UK, the treaties must be enshrined in domestic UK statute law by way of parliamentary ratification and then via The Lords through Royal Ascent which falls under:
Internal Sovereignty: This sovereignty is the sole remit of both houses of parliament who, although only one of which being elected BY the people as representatives, are not subject TO the people. MPs govern by consent by way of the ballot box but they have the final say on what gets written into UK statue law.
Our current, legitimate constitutional arrangement dictates that, irrespective of what the electorate wants pertaining to the EU referendum and Brexit, the Prime Minister, Cabinet and Parliament are sovereign in such matters and they get the last say and decision. The electorate of the UK are not sovereign. End of.
Now for the analogy.
Analogous Premises (Former):
1: Parliament and the Government as embodied by the Prime Minister and the Cabinet are sovereign over both domestic UK statute law and international treaties such as the Lisbon Treaty .
2: The electorate of the UK, due to the absence of a written, republican constitution and bill of rights outlining citizenship are not citizens, but subjects of, and subject to the Crown.
Conclusion:
It is therefore unreasonable for the electorate to make popular demands of the Prime Minister/Cabinet and/or Parliament to affect change pertaining to the UK withdrawal from the EU as this would constitute behaviour which smacks of spoilt, millennial entitlement.
Analogous Premises (Latter):
1: Artistic creators are sovereign over their own creative works.
2: Audiences are supplicants of and subject to the whims of the creator.
Conclusion:
It is therefore unreasonable for the audience/fans to make popular demands of the creator/entertainer to affect change as this would constitute behaviour which smacks of spoilt, millennial entitlement.
Anybody who disagrees with the former but agrees with the latter is suffering from some sever cognitive dissonance and is pretty much a fucking hypocrite.
QED Motherfuckers.
Nominated by Two In The Stink