Jamie Oliver, again. He’s hired ‘cultural appropriation experts’ to ensure that his recipes don’t cause any further offence after his horrendous, death sentence deserving crime, of creating a recipe for jerk rice.
Is it just a publicity stunt since his restaurant went bankrupt, or is he just a gurning rubber faced twat who needs to develop a backbone?
Nominated by: mystic maven
FAT SLAGS:
Apparently the tax payer is now having to pay for a new luxury in wimminz prisons – new lavatory seats:
The old bags are getting so chubby bottomed that they keep breaking them. I can’t see ehy they can’t just park their flabby folds of flesh on the porcelain – either that or get an Army PTI , a real hell on duty man to sort them out.
This led me to a new idea for the Labour party – instead of Dame Keir and his nancy boys to keep telling us on a daily, almost hourly basis, how pure and innocent they are, why not have a daily contest with two lavatories and their resident fatties Emily Thornberry (Lady Nugee) and Diane Abbott, battling out to see how many bog seats they break in a week. The winner to receive a kiss on the arse from Starmer himself. I am sure the Guardian will be pleased to supply copies as wide screen lavatory paper.
Nominated by WC Boggs
”Nusrat Ghani: Muslimness a reason for my sacking, says ex-minister”
Yes, we have it in for these people of impeccable peacefulness yet again.
Our government might be a bunch of cunts but it is the most ethnically diverse group ever to have been in office. But like with cricket, it seems that the Slumos are victims. Yet again. (Slumo is Seffrican Indian slang. Nor regarded as offensive when I was there. Neither was P*ki by the way.)
Now we arent sure how this nonenty’s ‘muslimness’ manifested itself. Perhaps she had to have a male relative chaperone? Kissed the carpet at innopportune times? Wasnt served exclusively Halal food in the parliament restaurants? Wore a suicide vest to No 10 parties? Groomed young girls for taxi drivers? Whatever. But discrimination against her ‘muslimness’ was the reason for her sacking. According to her.
We wait for the Hindus, Sikhs, Tamils, Buddhists, Wiccans and Scientologists to rush out to identify with her sorry plight. Just like they didnt at Yorkshire cricket. Or anyfuckingwhere else.
Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble
And here’s another, this time from Freddie the Frog
Nusrat Ghani
Another victim of Islamophobia. So she gets the sack, not because she’s fucking useless, but because she’s a fucking Joe Daki and she was told this by a senior politician. In the 21st century!!! In wokie Britain!!!
Yeah……and then she waits 2 fucking years before she starts crying about it!
Sorry, is any cunt buying this shit?
Boris Johnson critics are Cunts.
I can’t understand all this shite being thrown at Boris just because of a little social gathering.Everyone knew what they were getting with Boris wen they voted Tory….a character different to the usual boring,staid professional politicians. It isn’t like he had a personality transplant when he became P.M…..he was always a “fly by the seat of your pants” celebrity-type politician who shamelessly plugged into the John Bull/Winston Churchill stereotype.
He is the man who got “Brexit” done and is steering us to the sunny uplands of a Great Britain that will again shit on Johnny Foreigner….and all this while successfully guiding us through the worst health crisis in living history.
Any minor “bumps in the road” are due to underlings who lack The Great Man’s vision and moral compass….personally, I’d tip Nelson’s statue off the top of that column and put Boris there instead.
Nominated by: Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler
Bottled Water
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bottled_water
Whilst shopping in Asda today (unfortunately we don’t have a Fortnums round here) I accidentally took a wrong turn up the soft drinks aisle. Obviously I normally avoid consuming anything liquid that’s devoid of alcohol. Anyway, my attention was piqued by shelves groaning under the weight of hundreds of multipacks of haitch two fucking oh. I could not believe the prices being charged for something that falls out of the sky. So, for example, 4 x 330ml Evian at £3, for fucks sake!
Who in their right mind spends 75p on a third of a litre of water when you can get the same amount out of the tap for a fraction of a penny? And tap water won’t be contaminated with benzene like Perrier was in 1990.
The bottlers and retailers are literally taking the piss water. And every knobhead who buys it has the intellectual complexity of a maggot.
Nominated by Geordie Twatt