Just Stop Oil, or I’ll zip tie myself to a post!!
Brilliant idea!
As an alternative to the usual oil powered transport, we can simply use our dragons.
That’s after we’ve trained them, of course.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-60795041.amp
What kind of fucking fantasy world do these certifiable loons live in?
Anyway, did anyone have the same thought I did, when I saw the header in the news report of these fools?
Nominated by Jeezum Priest
Congratulations to Dickie Dribbler who has won Deadpool 241 by picking country singer C W McCall aka Bill Dale Fries who died today from cancer aged 93.He will be best remembered for his 1975 hit “Convoy” which was used on the subsequent film of the same name.His song had a resurgence in popularity due to the protesting Canadian truckers earlier this year which he expressed his personal blessing for back in February. He is survived by his wife of 70 years.
On to Deadpool 242
The rules.
1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will die next.It is first come first serve.You can always be a cunt and steal someone elses nominations from previous pools.
2)Anyone who nominates the worlds oldest man or woman is a cunt and will be ignored.
3)It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.
4)No switching names mid pool unless they have already been taken.
5)Please check your nanes havent already been nabbed as we cant be arsed to check.
Ain’t Progress Wonderful ?
Two fucking cases that are boiling my piss
1)…New “verified by card provider” security checks when making an online purchase.
Apparently,for my safety, when I now attempt to buy something,there is a pretty fair bet that I will be asked to input some security code at checkout which my card holder will text me or I can download the “App”…fucking useful if,like me,you only get an intermittent mobile signal or no signal at all. I contacted my bank who replied that I would,when that happens, have to ring the card provider who would give me the code….so, I have to sit in a fucking phone queue while some “still being a Work From Home Hero” updates his facebook,feeds his dog and has a wank before deigning to answer.
2)….The carpark in my local town has brought in a new numberplate recognition system instead of the old Fart who wandered about checking tickets…now you can download the “App” ( whatever the fuck that actually is) or pay by debit card…what the fuck was the matter with putting coins in a machine ?…according to the local paper the nearby shops are getting hammered because a lot of the older shoppers ( Marks and Spencers customers) just won’t use it….and I can’t say that I blame them judging by the amount of folk writing in to say that they have been wrongly fined…” faulty equipment” according to the carpark owners, that will quickly be fixed….doesn’t exactly inspire confidence,I must say.
There seems to be a drive to make mobile phones the unacknowledged “Identity Card”….regardless of the fact that not all area have full coverage and some people just don’t fancy having their every movement and transaction recorded for…..whoever.
Nominated by: Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler
Enforcement Officers are cunts.
Enforcement Officers, or as I call them ‘Plastic Policepeople’ are effectively a ‘high & fucking mighty’ bunch of cunts!
The word ‘enforce’ surely means ‘You will do,’ rather than ‘encourage,’ which I would prefer to be used. Cuntfrontational is all I see, as the Railway Enforcement Officers, strut around in their hi viz, looking very important, as if they are enticing someone to ‘have a fuckin’go!’ & then there’s the Parking Enforcement Brigade, formally called traffic wardens, that did come with a proper uniform, & are now a bit of a mixed bunch.
But the worst cunts of all are the Environmental Enforcement Officers, yes, the ones that hide in the undergrowth, waiting for you to drop an apple pip, when they will jump out & say “I saw that! I’ve got you on camera! You won’t get away with it!” So bugger me, that’s another 80 quid on top of the last one, for when I got caught for fly tipping that double king size bed last week.
But seriously, these cunts also work along side the police in cities, where I have personally seen them use unreasonable force, on lesser mortals, like genuine homeless people, & those not even considered a threat. I don’t think they do a jacket for alcohol enforcement, but I would gladly steal one of them jackets just to wear in my local!
Nominated by: Lord Scunthorpe
Here you go, a nice inoffensive non-racial, non-sexual, non-Ukraine, big standard vanilla cunting.
Pavement parkers are outright cunts, for whom I would make the tariff for the offence instant death. Every day, I walk the hounds along a road at the back of the High Road and invariably have to walk in the road due to cunts parked on the pavement. The fact that I am having to walk rather than drive is due to the fact the Merc has had another fucking hissy fit and gone wrong again (suspension this time). Mercedes will get their own special cunting in due course.
What really gets my goat is the half-arsed attempt to park part-way on the pavement and part-way on the road. FFS, why inconvenience both drivers and pedestrians? Apparently, the council can do nothing about pavement parking – the rules in London mean pavement parking is illegal, but not in the sticks. So, the silly cunts can give you a ticket if you are on a yellow line, but not if you are parked full on the pavement. Even worse are the fucking women (always women) who park on the pavement with hazard lights on and go and get a coffee. We also had a lovely bot of grass with daffs and crocuses – what happens? Yep, fucking vans, 4x4s and those cunting pick up trucks (with names like Warrior, Small Dick, Barbrian and the like) park all over it and it’s now a mudbath.
I know it is hard to park, but these cunts have no fuckign consideration for anyone but themselves.
Nominated by Lord Cuntingford