Woke Workplace Bribery

Remember the good old days when you showed up for work, put in a shift and then fucked off home? Well thanks to a toxic mix of a labour shortage and the selfish entitlement of Gen Z now entering the workforce exploiting the post-Covid ‘new normal’, those days are now over.

Companies desperate to hire and retain staff are giving in to ridiculous demands from woke Gen Z employees such as time off for birthdays, yoga sessions and pet bereavement leave.

Daily Mail News Link

This won’t make a business more productive. Once you cave in to these demands and go down down the rabbit hole of appeasing these spoilt infantilised brats, like anything woke, it is never enough and more demands will be made. They will be paying them to get out of bed and a private taxi in next before they even set foot inside the office.

They seem to think every company should be like a Silicon Valley tech start up, lounging around on beans bags brainstorming and eating their hippie salads for a £100,000 a year.

The carrot and stick approach can be incentivising and produce results but fuck the carrot, these workshy bastards just need a good fucking clubbing.

Nominated by: Liberal Liquidator

Card Cloning Thieves

Here I am sat enjoying my Sunday afternoon and I thought I’d have a quick look at my online banking. Some utter cunt has had it away with £1686.42.

What’s odd about this is the first transaction was for SAGA £76.84 the rest was made up of 45 transactions to Hobbycraft. The cunt had sat there for about 9 hours skanking money in £5, £10, £20 £35 and £40 amounts.

I have to say my bank, Barclays, were absolutely brilliant in dealing with it, within 24 hours or so every penny was refunded.

The chances of catching the cunt that did this is virtually nil, the bank is unlikely to investigate further. To be honest I thought the SAGA payment would be easy to trace, the cunts only flog insurance and holidays I reckon.

Todays lesson is not to have too much sat in your current account, which I’ve already addressed. Scum bags, I’d publicly flog them before rubbing lemon juice in the flayed flesh, all this is prior to letting a pack of hound on the cunts.

I know banks get a cunting from time to time, but on this occasion I have nothing but praise for the way I was treated.

Nominated by: Bertram Cuntatious DCO

And seconded by: Norman

Superb cunting, Bertram, and seconded by me.

I was once screwed by one of these cunts a few years ago in 2012, and I have refused to do online banking ever since. Even now, I still do it the ‘old way’. People always tell me ‘But… But… It’s the way it’s done now and you need an online account’.

No, I fucking don’t. Yeah, it’s convenient, but it can slso be a pain in the arse. When my brother in law made more than one payment from his online account, his cunt of a bank actually stopped his account, thinking he was a fraud. Yet, it was his account and his fucking money.

Oasis (2)

Now, in certain quarters, this lot are being ‘reassessed’, with people who didn’t used to to like them giving it the rose tinted stuff and all that ‘They weren’t that bad compared to the crap that’s around today.’ sentimentality. Oh, and that one: ‘At least they were a proper band’.

Well, popular music is so bad now, even Dido or James Blunt sounds good next to the likes of Ed Sheercunt and Titless Swift. But giving Oasis due for being the most unoriginal band in musical history? That’s just taking the piss.

Aside from their notorious bullshitting, staged fights and self mythologizing bollocks, these cunts nicked from other artists time and time again.

Now, I can hear someone say ‘Yeah, we know. T-Rex and the New Seekers’. But there are more of them, fucking loads in actual fact. Everyone from Thin Lizzy to Cliff Richard (straight up) has been pilfered by that unibrowed bluenose knobhead Noel.

And as for them being a ‘real’ band? A band that had four drummers, four bassists, and two rhythm guitarists? As soon as the orignal line-up broke up, it was the Gallaghers and loads of sidemen. It was hardly a magic mix like Daltrey, Townshend, Moon and Entwistle.

If people want to get nostalgic about 90s bands and all that Britpop bollocks, then can find better than them to eulogise. Simple fact is they weren’t very good then and they aren’t very good now.

Here is a complete list of all the songs they nicked. Has to be seen to be believed.

You Tube Link

Nominated by: Norman

Office Workers and Loud Cunts and their Phones

Have been spending the last few days working at a customer-site sorting out some of their IT infrastructure, most of which needs some serious upgrading.

Anyway, during my time there I could not help but notice that a lot of the staff were pissing about on their phones and tablets rather than focusing on what they’re paid to be doing (it’s a credit ratings agency of about 70 employees).

Because their datacentre has glass panelling, I can see right into their main office of about 30 people and most of them were fucking about on their phones, standing around by colleague’s desks taking selfies and constantly staring at their phones.

There is no adjoining offices for the bosses, but if they saw what I was seeing they would be giving their entire team a right royal bollocking (unless they themselves were tap, tap, tapping away on their own devices)

This isn’t the first time I’ve been to customer sites and seen similar activity. It wouldn’t be quite so bad if it was during a tea/lunch break, but quite a few people are quite brazen about it.

Such low productivity seems to be de rigueur these days and is it any wonder a lot of cunts still want to work from home!

Therefore, when you’re trying to contact customer services by phone, this is what they’re probably doing while your 76th in the fucking queue.

Nominated by: Technocunt

And speaking of cunts on phones, here’s another from Captain Magnanimous

People who talk into their mobiles on loud speaker are cunts, aren’t they.

Furthermore, if you hold the phone at an angle to speak into the bottom to seem like you’re important, you achieve bonus cunt points.

If you do this, you probably have a man-bun. You might even have a circle beard. You definitely vape. You could also be one of those crass mothers in a dressing-gown dropping the brat off at school. Alternatively, you might be a mortgage broker attempting to seem important. You definitely wear Crocs.

They probably brush their teeth before eating breakfast.

These people are crass idiots. Why do I not only have to hear your mundane, inarticulate opinion, but also your equally banal, fuckwit mate’s response? If only the airbag would open whilst you did this driving and scatter your wretched teeth around the car.

You look like a cunt shouting into a piece of toast.

Going Cashless – Scammers Delight

Over the last 12 months I have read so many reports in the MSM and computer media regarding how scammers are moving away from trying to hack into computers using viruses and malware, and have since moved on towards hacking into apps where you can pay using your phone.

The Weakest Link is the QR code (or Quick Response). This looks like a barcode but is a method where a phone installed with a QR reader can scan and interpret the QR code in order to make a payment for a service.

The link below is just one example where scammers can produce dodgy QR of their own, which they then place on top of legitimate QR codes (or remove the latter completely). The victim comes along scan the code and then finds his bank has been hacked and his money pinched.

These scams can happen anywhere where cashless payments by phone/card is your only option. The providers of these services warn customers to be “vigilant” about using QR codes, which to me seems like they’re shifting responsibility away from themselves and onto the punter to worry about.

Nearly everywhere you go these days retailers are demanding that you pay cashless by either contactless card and/or “download the app”. You’ll see it even more or train stations, carparks, airports and not just ordinary shops.  All of which means that you are being tracked not only by where you are and what you’ve bought, but also the sharing of your personal information stored on your phone. And its this that hackers are after, which means we have to be even more cautious how we use an app.

The “Go Cashless” project is just another complication in an already complicated life for a lot of people. And using these apps to pay for things is just another example.


Telegraph News Link

Nominated by: Technocunt