This week, Prince Baldy and Princess Milf (Pilf?) have arrived in the Caribbean on a tour to celebrate Lizzie’s 70 years on the throne.

The locals have used this tour to start demanding reparations to the tune of 7.4 billion pounds (that would be just for starters, no doubt).

The demand is for to he fact we bought and sold loads of bananas and sugar that we purchased from black slave traders in the region centuries ago. Shouldn’t the families of the slave owners be the ones they moan at? Any chance that the few remaining Taino people (the original inhabitants of the Caribbean islands) are compensated by the Africans who were brought over or moved there? Slavery ended long ago. Aren’t they ‘colonising’ the land of others? Shouldn’t they now ‘go back home’ to Africa?

I’m sure Africa is a much more pleasant place to live than places like Antigua or Barbados.

And maybe I would agree to this payment, after they pay us first for the crime wave we’ve had to suffer from their lot since they came over. Or for the suffering in listening to the likes of Raheem fucking Sterling.

And they can wait until we get some money from Italy (Romans) and the French for past occupations, land grabs and slavery.

And once every fucking country in the world has signed up to a ‘Reparations Act’ and paid for all any any past wars/occupations, then maybe it will make sense (but probably not).

But it only matters of course, when whitey does it! Silly me, I almost forgot!

A local judge tore up his wig in protest at having to follow laws set up by the British this week. Maybe he’d prefer African style laws and necklacing cunts who ‘diss’ him or someone from his tribe? Go back to African justice then, you daft cunt.

William has now said, ‘A conversation needs to be had.’

Well, your family benefited more than anyone else, so lip it unless you’re prepared to give it all away to these grasping, shameless cunts. We’ll stick you and your family in a Peckham council flat and try and sort jobs for you at the local KFC or Aldi, don’t worry.

But maybe there is a solution. The conversation should go thus;

Gibsmedat: Me want money from whitey.

UK: You can have the money if you take all your lot back.

By jove, I think I’ve got it!

Reuters News Link

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

We’ve all been there. Holding in a fart at work or when on a date. Maybe at a funeral. Or a job interview.

Well, it seems you should just let rip because holding in farts can put you in hospital. Some Brazilian ‘model’ (nice body but has tats so I’d rather have a wank) was too shy to parp in front of her boyfriend and ended up in hospital. Mind you, some birds might end up that way too if they fart in front of their man (if he’s a cunt).

I once held in a huge fart after scoring with an absolute fucking stunner in my younger years. Natural blonde, perfect body, really bonnie face. We ended up at her house after the club closed and got down to some serious foreplay on her sofa. She then led me to her bedroom and got into bed. I could’ve snapped bricks in half on me nob at that point. Anyway I had this massive fart building up and it was hurting (obviously didn’t tell her this). I asked where her loo was. She said next door. I soon realised the shitter had thin walls and was within a few feet of the headboard. I could hear her move in bed. I realised I couldn’t let it go and just flushed, washed my hands and got into bed.

But I was in so much pain by now that I couldn’t do it. I ended up leaving, telling her I was ill (sort of true). I got a taxi and by now needed a big shit too. I got home just in time. I let rip and it ended up being a massive silent one with no shite at all. I was devastated. But I bet if I’d tried to let it go at her house, it would’ve set off car alarms for miles around. She didn’t bother seeing me again when I called her a few days later, unsurprisingly.

Yes, having to hold in farts is a horrible thing, but having your lady let rip or even sell her farts (yes, the link includes some tart doing this too) isn’t ideal either.

Parp.

https://news.yahoo.com/brazilian-singer-hospitalized-refusing-fart-022821705.html

Nominated by Cuntybollocks

I am sure that that celeb Eliot Page (I cannot find her real first name) (which says a lot in itself) who was a woman and became a man would like to ‘grow a pair’. Have they injected her so she can one wonders…?

‘You should grow a pair of balls’. You hear that from men AND women. Mrs Plastic says it to me a lot when I invariably shrink from confrontation.

Caitlin Jenner has no balls. He’s had the ‘full surgery’. But he has metaphorical balls as it were when it comes to standing up against ‘gay marriage’ and transgender atheletes in women’s sport.

What am I cunting here? Transgender balls that’s it. Balls as bollocks. No bunkum I mean. Balls as bunkum, bullshit.

I have no doubt that ballsy Bruce (what a manly name) was speaking the truth when he said he felt like a woman on the inside all his life. I am not denying that.

A terrible thing to feel. That you’re in the wrong body. I suppose he wished and wished he was a woman but he was in a man’s body. But just because you fervently wish things to be so the wishing doesnt make it a reality. (A bit like heaven, then – NA)

This is from Hello Magazine-
‘Having undergone a nose job, breast augmentation, tracheal shave, jaw reshaping and beard removal as part of her transition, Caitlyn finally completed the process with gender reassignment surgery.’

So Bruce has ‘busted his balls’ so to speak to become a woman.
The last on theist is having his balls and cock chopped off.

He has had what is called ‘facial -feminisation surgery’ as well which involves- ‘procedures such as hairline correction, forehead contouring, and jaw and chin contouring’.

‘hairline correction’. But when God made him (as I would say) his male hairline was correct. ‘forehead contouring’ but when God made him (as I would say) his forehead was countoured for a male. .’jaw and chin contouring’. But when God made him (as I would say) his jaw and chin were perfectly ok for a male. What am I saying?

These terms really confess him to being a man having surgery to look like a woman.

Fuck this. What does it matter anyway if it makes him feel better in himself? I like the cunt for his stance against Wokery.

Oh, this turned not to be a cunting at all.

So the cunting is for those people that say people like Caitlyn Jenner are REAL women. And the consequeces of that in law.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-56960011
(Helpful link provided by Cuntstable Cuntbubble)

Nominated by: Miles Plastic

Cunts who use speaker on their phone calls.

Picture the scene: an immaculate, serene, blue-skied, spring day in England. One might be tempted to sit outdoors, absorb the sunlight, bathe in the melody of bird-song and admire the cherry blossom on the trees.

A neighbour 3 doors down exits into his garden and calls someone. His cunting bellowing down his phone shatters the pastoral scene into smithereens as we are treated to his gobshite conversation and all the banalities therein.

For some reason, he decides that he is not broadcasting enough braindead bollocks to those in the vicinity and decides to use speakerphone so the fucktard whining mingster on the other end can pollute the tranquil atmosphere even further.

These cunts are indicative of a broader, rancid wank stain blight on human existence, something which might be avoided if an ounce of non-curtness was drilled into or born in their flabby idiot brains.

cf. cunts on trains

Fox2 Detroit News Link.
(Fun link dialled in by Night Admin – NA)

Nominated by: Fuckwittery