Boris Becker – No Balls Please!


Boris Becker is a cunt.

The ‘temperamental’ German tennis star is apparently whinging about how he doesn’t like the grub in Wandsworth Prison. Oh dear. Shouldn’t be on the fiddle then, you sausage eating goose stepping cunt.

Still, there could be way out of it yet for Boris. He could take the classic Kraut option, and have a cyanide pill up his jacksie. Or he could ask for a transfer to Spandau. He could have Rudi Hess’s old cell. Gott in fockink himmel!

Mirror News Link

Nominated by: Norman

36 thoughts on “Boris Becker – No Balls Please!

    • He was jailed for Raqueteering?

      (You win the funniest gag of the day. Your reward is a night out at your local KFC with Diane Abbott, Angie Rayner or Jess Phillips. You have £20 to spend. We will expect a receipt – Day Admin)

      • In honour of Beckers liking for Schwarz Hündinnen, I reckon you should go for Flabbot Mis.

      • Admin @
        Cant I just take Angie?
        Both from Stockport, same accent, both buy our underwear at Poundland,
        Share the hobby of rooting through skips,
        I’d be tatters deep before the taxi came.

        (Since you’re both from Stockport you now have only a fiver to spend. And make sure you take Cinderella home before midnight otherwise she’ll turn into a refined lady – Day Admin)

      • £20 Chicken allowance for Abbott?
        Your gonna need a “Bargain Skip”

      • Mis: relive your youth, take Angie to the railway embankment, that pool table and finish off behind your local chinky takeaway 👍

      • Out of the three, I personally would have to say Dirty Angie. At least one might get a flash. A flash from the other two doesn’t even bear thinking about.

  1. Best pop to the cash machine on the way there,MNC,a score won’t even cover Diane Abbott’s starter these days.

  2. Most white collar criminals with such a short sentence would be in Ford or some other open nick which is more or less a holiday camp, so what’s he doing in Wandsworth? This looks like the Home Office trying to appear tough when we all know they’re soft as shit. Boris is paying the price for their years of incompetence and general wokery. Not that I care……he’s a rich fucking foreign bastard so he can fuck off the wanker.

    • Did he defraud the government? Perhaps the worst crime you can commit in their eyes.

    • True enough, Freddie. Had Herr Becker been a dark personage or a peaceful type, he’d be in a holiday camp. Just like the killers of Lee Rigby (RIP). But – as you say – he’s an arrogant milk stout. So sod him.

  3. A worryingly large number of Borises seem to be cunts: Becker, Johnson, Yeltsin. Not too sure about Karloff, Spassky, Berezovsky, though…

  4. When he’s finished his sentence they’ll probably deport him. No taxpayer funded yewman rights lawyers for this cunt. No crowd of wokies stopping the plane taking off. He should have raped a few underage girls if he wanted the law on his side.

  5. Boris should have hired Katie Price’s accountants, they seem to be able to squirrel away undisclosed wealth with no problems. Maybe he should have hired her legal team too, seeing as they’re record for keeping clients out of nick seems exemplary.

    • I swear Pricey wants to get banged up ( but not in the usual way for which she is so famous). It would be great publicity and a terrific sob story for the tabloids. She could write a book (well some cunt could write it for her) detailing her prison experiences and do the usual round of chat shows etc. It would be worth a fortune to the bitch.

      • Write her memoirs, you say?
        Uncle Addie wrote “Mein Kamf”-Ms Price could pen “My Minge”.

        Chapter 1: All the z listers who wiped their bell end on my face.

  6. Didn’t this sauerkraut shag a model in a cupboard once?

    From the sounds of it he would have faired better if he’d stopped in it.

    The silly cunt.

    • A cocksmith Uncle. At least he will have those memories to keep him “warm” at bang-up.

    • A certain big eared slimy and cripplingly woke Match Of The Day presenter cunt also tubbed a bird in a cupboard in a hospital, while his kid was in the place being ill.

      Allegedly and superinjunctionally, of course.

  7. He was always darting about wasnt he when he played. Diving vollyes, jumping the net.
    Maybe he could spring himself?

  8. I remember reading about all this but can’t recall all the details. I also can’t be arsed looking it up again.

    However, I seem to remember him being on a warning of going to prison if he didn’t start addressing his bankruptcy properly. And he was then renting houses at 15k a month and borrowing cash and spunking it all over the place without a care in the world. And fibbing about stuff he owned.

    Silly cunt was brazen as fuck. ‘Blitzkreig-esque’, one might say. He should, as others have pointed out, hire Katie Price’s accountant on his release.

  9. He’s been moved to a Cat C nick HMP Huntercombe solely for foreigners waiting deportion probably get a curry in there.

  10. Never liked him anyway. Seems to have a ‘tinge’ of the gayness. Has gayness voice, probably because of all the gays at tennis clubs. He’s also ginger and German ffs. Probably won’t hire a good accountant as the best ones are four be twos, allegedly or summary anyway.

  11. Looks like he’s hammered a bottle of vodka for the last 20 years.

    What an ugly pickled-faced Kraut.

    • Gingers don’t age well Dick.
      Particularly if they spend years laying around in the bright sunshine.

  12. Hmm, he could have paid his taxes.
    But I don’t figure “Serena of the Congo” would be in jail had she done the same thing.

  13. The way I understand it prison is not meant to be pleasant. Maybe I’m wrong?
    If I was on the inside I would do what it took to get solitary. Less chance of getting it in the ass.

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