Not too far from me is a water treatment centre, which is obviously fenced off and secure from nosy trespassers. Fair enough.

However, I also noticed on the front gate the usual warning signs about keeping out, trespassers will be executed etc. But then there a whole load more additions, including, “Confined Space: may cause distress”, “Danger: beware of trucks”, “Danger: beware uneven surfaces”, “Caution: Trip Hazard”, “Danger: excavations in progress”, “Warning: noise may cause distress” … and on and on it went to the point where I counted 15 notices on one big notice board!

But to cap it all there was a smaller warning notice at the foot of this big sign saying “Warning: this sign has sharp edges”

I suppose I can understand the logic of all these warnings in order to protect the company from litigation, even though sometimes not even these notices will deter trespassers from suing if they ended up injured.

Years ago I was dumb-founded by the classic “Caution: Hot Water” sign affixed near to a hot water tap in a hotel room I was staying at. There was a similar sign by the kettle. And again it bemused me why all this was so necessary given that surely most people must have an ounce of common sense about them.

But clearly not it would seem.

I recall a time back in my youth and laughing at the road sign showing a bloke trying to open an umbrella; or the one with a bloke trying to abduct a child, or another sign with a massive exclamation mark at the centre. I thought we were about to be hit by a hoard of exclamation marks such was my naive mind at the time

But these days it seems anything and everything has some kind of warning sign attached to it. Even a bag of frozen peas probably has a warning to say its not suitable for someone or other.

It’s a sign of the times I guess (see what I did there!)

Nominated by: Technocunt

and seconded by: Geordie Twatt

‘Sign not in use’
‘Caution: Water on road during rain’
‘Speed limit for safety reasons’
All genuine.
I remember a comedy sketch once (possibly on ‘The Two Ronnies’) with a sign reading ‘Do not throw stones at this sign’.

Excellent nomination, hereby seconded.

Joshua Heath, a junior research fellow, reckons that Jesus could’ve been transgender. A 14th century painting depicting a stab wound in Christ’s side “takes on a decidedly vaginal appearance”. This view is supported by the dean of Trinity College, Cambridge University.

Is he claiming that the millions of people throughout the course of human history who’ve died from violent stab injuries were all transgender too? What a prize and deluded cunt.

You really couldn’t make up this shit. I fucking well despair at the madness permeating this once-great country.

Andrew Lawrence explains with far more humour and passion than I could ever muster:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSNL0XsnPL4

Telegraph Link.

Big News Network Link.
Post Millennial Link.
(Additional links provided by our Religious Scholar, Night Admin – NA)

Nominated by : Cunty McCunt

I finally got round to watching the 90 minute or so ‘interview’ between Piers Morgan and Cristiano Ronaldo.

What a pile of cunt.

Right. Here goes.

First up, Ronaldo was right in saying that United is run by cunts (the Glazers). He was also right cunting Gary Neville and Wayne Rooney.

But fuck me. What a precious Prima Donna cunt he came across as. At the age of 37, he can’t start demanding to be treated differently. Let’s face it.

He’s one of the greatest players ever. But he’s nothing spesh now. Bang average in terms of world class levels. To be expected, he’s knocking 40.

But he was at one of the world’s biggest clubs, Man Utd. He can’t start demanding this and that and refuse to be a sub. Refusing to come on?

That’s a cunt, right there.

But I digress

Morgan was the bigger cunt. His interview was the most sycophantic things I’ve ever heard.

The whole fiasco could’ve been reduced from 90 or so minutes to less than half a minute.

Ronaldo: Do you know who I am? (Repeat loudly throughout)

Morgan: Oh Ronnie honey, (slurp) you’re the best ever. Oh your member tastes so good (slurp).

Interview?

Fucking blow job, more like.

Sporting News

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

A cunting for people who think they have a right to a parking space outside their house on a terraced road.

I regularly have people park outside my house living near to a shop and having multiple car owning neighbours, inconvenient-yes , however I have never risen to the ultimate level of cunt where I would challenge a person or leave notes etc because someone is exercising their rights as a tax paying road user.

What boils my piss is the righteous indignation of a neighbour 50 yards down, in front of whose house I parked the other day. Despite their car being parked, so my actions were not depriving them of their cherished road space AND me considerately leaving 6 feet in front of their ludicrous vehicle for egress, the stupid cunt suggested I park on double yellows or in front of anyone else’s house as long as his wife and kids can get their car out. if you are aware that the car is that of a fellow resident then you know they are parking there because they actually do have someone taking the space where they would park normally,

being happy to suggest that I inconvenience another resident by parking elsewhere as long as it isn’t affecting you personally, is not something worthy of “respect” which was what this utter cunt was suggesting I wasn’t giving him enough of, so instead he receives a cunting

It goes without saying I would move for anyone who politely asks and for a good reason (disabled etc) But not for some benefit scrounging drug dealer who’s misses can’t get her giant white Range Rover out of a 30ft space

Nominated by: Jimmy Cuntliffe

The European Commission has announced the latest version of their rules and regulations for new vehicle emissions over the next few years (Euro 7, for short), with the aim of getting all diesel and petrol driven vehicles removed from any further production by the major manufacturers in order to reduce CO2 pollutants and other toxic emissions.

The Euro 7 regulation has been criticised by these same companies primarily because of the unrealistic timescales involved, the additional R&D costs for future EV manufacturing, resources, complicated red tape/compliance and the fear that the price of EVs under the new ruling will rise by anything up to 20% on the forecourt.

It should also be noted that the Euro 7 ruling will affect the United Kingdom despite of Brexit due to the fact we haven’t totally cut ties with the EC.

One observation everyone agrees on is that it will push the cost of buying a brand Euro 7-compliant EV out of the reach of many people, which could just force them off the roads unless they resort to going back to 2nd hand petrol/diesel vehicles – which will also command a high price due to strong demand for this very reason.

And yet on the flip side you get some EC officials and Greenies, who suggest Euro 7 doesn’t go far enough to reduce emissions and are pushing for amendments or even tighter regulations in time for the release of Euro 8 in the not too distant future.

This is probably all to do with Net Zero, but is only focused on European vehicle production and not Asia or Chinese production where pollution levels are far higher and regulations far less stringent.

Yet more half-baked bureaucracy from our EU/WEF masters, and another piece of the Net Zero jigsaw falls into place by getting the plebs off the road. We’ve already had recent nominations covering:-

• banning old petrol/diesel cars in central London
• pedestrianisation of busy town roads
• excessive traffic calming methods (especially in Oxford)
• high petrol/diesel prices (we can now include higher electric prices for EVs)
• congestion charges and higher parking charges
• police more concerned about the welfare of eco-warrior protestors than drivers

It won’t be too long before the Powers that Be get most of us off the road once and for all.

Telegraph News Link

Nominated by: Technocunt