Bono [17]

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My fellow Cunters,
For your Cuntsideration:

Bono and his “Poem” for Ukraine.

Daily Fail Link.

(Apologies for long link-“aaaht @ abaaaht” with an ancient mobile)

A “Top o’ da mornin’, “Dere’s more-to-Oiiiiiirlaaand-dan-dis” cunting please, for IsAC’s favourite Oirish intellectual midget.

What has the 5’ 2” “tower of woke bullshit” done now?
Written a primary school standard ditty, calling Putin a “Psycho” and a snake, whilst Zelensky is Saint Patrick, driving him out?

Bob Dylan must be shitting himself, with a lyrical “giant” like Bonovox, in the industry.

Nominated by: Cuntfinder General

An extra stanza also provided by our literary corresponded, Cuntfinder General:

For the convenience of Cunters:

Oh, St Patrick he drove out the snakes
With his prayers but that’s not all it takes
For the snake symbolises
An evil that rises
And hides in your heart, as it breaks
And the evil has risen my friends
From the darkness that lives in some men
But in sorrow and fear
That’s when saints can appear
To drive out those old snakes once again
And they struggle for us to be free
From the psycho in this human family
Ireland’s sorrow and pain
Is now the Ukraine
And St Patrick’s name now Zelenskiy

Interfering Wankers

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Interfering Wankers

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/mar/07/hailed-as-heroes-scottish-gardeners-who-rescued-trio-from-ukraine

These people who go barrelling into conflict zones to “do good” are a fucking liability…had they been shot or taken hostage no doubt there would have been a Twitter clamour to make them into national heroes…when,in fact, they have no business being there in the first place.

I’m afraid I also include in this Cunting those British people who have rushed to join in the fight against Russia…unless they have military experience,they will probably be nothing but a liability. Although I’m sure that some are doing it with the best of intentions,I suspect that some made hysterical claims on Facebook, or the like, and now find it difficult to back out.

These untrained and unprepared people are nothing but Terry Waite-types and idealistic fantasists in the main.

Nominated by Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler

Hugh Grant [7]

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Another nomination for that hoity-toity-upper-class-twit, pansy, and waste of skin that is Hugh Grant.

Here we all are, us plebs at least, facing a looming cost of living crisis thanks mainly to the Chinks and already escalating fuel prices and then, on top of all that, the Ivans are trying to kick start WW3 causing sanctions on oil and gas supplies engendering stratospherically high fuel prices in the absence of any reliable home based energy fall back strategy in the U.K. and mainly due to the non-democratic implementation of Net Zero goals by the Government. In the face of the Net Zero debacle a certain Mr Nigel Farage has begun campaigning for a referendum on the issue (started before Mad Putin went full tonto). Grants response? “Go fuck yourself!”

Waste of skin doesn’t even begin to adequately describe this over privileged, talentless, narcissistic wanker. He won’t be left wondering if he can manage to afford to keep warm by getting fed from food banks, not paying the council tax and heating one room in the house.

Does he have links to any of the oligarchs? Can we sanction this cunt as well please to let him experience a little “reality”.

Yahoo News Link.

Daily Fail Link.

Nominated by: Mikdys

Seconded by: Lord of the Rings

None of these overpaid virtue signalling cunts live in the real world.

Put them in a council house on £25grand/year. No accountant to avoid income tax, council tax, capital gains tax. Give them shitty internet, leaky windows and rising damp. A 20 yr old vauxhall vectra, make them eat ready meals from Farm foods, and try to heat their luxurious new abode with a 25yr old baxi boiler, rusty rads and a gas fire that sends 80% of it’s heat straight up the sodding chimney. Put reality spy cams in and watch them trying to decide whether they pay their rent, their extortionate energy bill, pay for a clutch in the car or try to order fresh organic Avocados from Waitrose online, only to discover they don’t deliver to the area as it’s too rough.

That or give Grant a flintlock musket, put him in a Napoleonic tunic and ship him to the Ukraine, telling him it’s to shoot a new film…Cunt !

Dog Shit [3]

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Dog owners/walkers who don’t pick up fido’s shit are cunts.

I feel quite lucky to live in a small village on the edge of the Lincolnshire Wolds. Population under 900. There are loads of public footpaths through field and woods and even along a small river.

At a guess I would say that a quarter of the population including myself are dog owners. Farmers working dogs, shooters hunting dogs, a very elderly lady 80+ with her collie which looks older than she does, other single pensioners mainly women with their toy sized mutts and me with my Jack cross. (mad as a basket of frogs he is chases any thing from ducks squirrels and leaves).

I reckon that 80% pick up fido’s shit religiously; quite right too. Sadly simple maths means that about 40 cunts don’t and that is a lot of shit being left and ignored. That is a cunt. what the fuck is wrong with these dirty lazy idle bastards?

I don’t know but what I do know is they are fucking cunts.

Link below is just a story about my moan not relative to my particular area but just in support of my thoughts on these cunts.

https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/council-dog-owners-poo-mess-2627037

Nominated by: Everyonesacunt

Comic Relief (6)

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Be fair… it’s shit isn’t it?

Every year the chuggers wheel out a load a load of puerile, cheap telly courtesy of the BBC. It ain’t funny, it’s just a load of people arsing about to part us from our hard earned cash. Nationalised chugging persuading us to give money to spongers, third world dictators and people in famine and war zones breeding children when they should know better. How do they manage it? Anorexics don’t have children – their bits shut down. So how the fuck do they manage it in these third world shit holes?

As if we don’t pay enough in taxes in contributions to the overseas aid budget the biggest bunch of left-on virtue seeking wankers appears on our screens and airways, telling us to part with even more of our dosh.

Dick heads drive their cars around with stupid plastic appendages attached to the grill and others dress in fancy dress crap or bake cakes for ‘good causes’.

And do you know what really pisses me off about Red Nose Day? The fact that my grandchildren will be forced to join in at school today by a load of leftie teachers. Nobody should be forced to join in this shit or indoctrinated with propaganda in the schoolroom. Nobody. It’s not right.

Last year I made Mrs D a promise. I’ll donate £10 for, every time they make me laugh. Seemed fair and reasonable.

This year I’ll give them the same as I gave them last year. Sweet fuck all because, let’s me be honest, woke killed comedy and these cunts frankly just ain’t funny…

Nominated by Dioclese