David Icke

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I nominate David Icke as a CUNT

1: for being a spastic handicapped fat piece of shit who worked for the BBC
2: For spreading bullshit about reptilians, the Moon being a spaceship and writing 20+ books in 20 years
3: for being a cunt
4: for running a forum supposedly divulging truth when all he wants is your fucking money
5: for creating TPV and creaming off well over £500,000 and then having the audacity to ask for another £250,000
6: for sucking Russel Brands cock in the grouch club
7: for employing fucking sand niggers on his website and TPV
8: for raping children
9: for raping OAP’s
10: Because he is a cunt, a huge cunt, a fucking lying cunt and a money making cunt from doom porn theories

Nominated by: Jimmy Savile

( Did he really do all that? Anyway, I thought you were dead, Jimmy. Ed. )

Tennis

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Tennis fans and tennis players are the worst cunts in the sporting world. Their boring, stupid “sport” is inflicted upon the world and the viewing public without end during the spring and summer months, with the cunts at the BBC especially covering this bland spectacle every time Andy “I hate the English” Murray shouts at a ball boy or breaks a racket.

Not content with being the preserve of in-bred, chinless cunts from the Home Counties, this tiresome spectacle is now being promoted more and more in sports clubs and schools around the country, to the extent that soon the plaintive cries of “come on Andy (you Jock cunt)” will now be heard in accents from Manc to Geordie to Brummie, with cunts nation-wide pretending to be tennis coaches to get into nubile 19 yr olds’ knickers.

Everything about this “sport” is bland, from the thin cream and bitter strawberries at Wimbleborough, to the cream and white public school outfits worn by the cunts on the court, all the way to the yawn inducing cuntitude taking place that so enthrals the cunts who pay top dollar to shout “cum ahhnn!” at the players.

What a load of dumb cunts. Ban tennis now!

Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain

Easter

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Easter’s shit these days. The eggs seem to be made out of dried diarrhoea and filled with pus.

And you can’t even enjoy a nice church service as the vicar will be a fat lesbian doing the ‘job’ to get access to little girls to fist them up the cunt.

And the congregation will be 5 old cows smelling of piss in their cat-skin coats and lampshade hats.

Nominated by: Fuck Easter

Chris Ashton

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I’ll tell you now who is the biggest cunt on the planet… Chris Ashton.

He of the swallow dive when he scores a try.

Never kind that Ulster were ripped off by a cunt of a French ref tonight, to see that smug hateful cunt of all cunts Ashton with his theatrics crossing the try line. Fucking cunt.

I sincerely hope he lands on his fucking neck one day.

Angry, moi?

Nominated by: Dan

Telesales

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Telesales and telemarketing people are cunts.

Just when I’ve sat down on the lav for a good stiff shit, one of these cunts phones up with some “unmissable offer”, thus spoiling my enjoyment of the moment. Just fuck off you cunts, if I want something, then I’ll get it from the shops. I don’t need some spotty faced cunt telling me what a great product or service they have, I’d much rather spend my spare time in the best, most rewarding and long lasting way, by a complete evacuation of my healthy bowel.

“Have you claimed your PPI back yet?” – No, but I’ve just squeezed out an enormous log, you cunt !

Nominated by: who put the cunt in scunthorpe