Tennis fans and tennis players are the worst cunts in the sporting world. Their boring, stupid “sport” is inflicted upon the world and the viewing public without end during the spring and summer months, with the cunts at the BBC especially covering this bland spectacle every time Andy “I hate the English” Murray shouts at a ball boy or breaks a racket.

Not content with being the preserve of in-bred, chinless cunts from the Home Counties, this tiresome spectacle is now being promoted more and more in sports clubs and schools around the country, to the extent that soon the plaintive cries of “come on Andy (you Jock cunt)” will now be heard in accents from Manc to Geordie to Brummie, with cunts nation-wide pretending to be tennis coaches to get into nubile 19 yr olds’ knickers.

Everything about this “sport” is bland, from the thin cream and bitter strawberries at Wimbleborough, to the cream and white public school outfits worn by the cunts on the court, all the way to the yawn inducing cuntitude taking place that so enthrals the cunts who pay top dollar to shout “cum ahhnn!” at the players.

What a load of dumb cunts. Ban tennis now!

Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain

11 thoughts on “Tennis

  1. Where I come from, you don’t need to be a tennis coach to get into yoing nubile 19 year olds knickers, just need to have a tarry Vauxhall Nova, plenty of tack and grunt like a boar on heat. Young slappers here are easily impressed. Tennis, and for that matter too, table tennis is for posh cunts anyway

  2. And what is with all that wretched grunting? They are hitting a lightweight rubber ball not each other (although more may watch it if they did).

  3. They are dirty evil black monkey filth. The dirty sub-animal black filth are no better than the black trash Tom Jones. Dirty evil black filth from hell.

  4. Not sure if I believed what I saw on the news, but apparently Cornwall has been granted special status, and insulting someone from Cornwall will now be considered racist. They have apparently made a special contribution to England that needs to be recognised. I would like to say thanks for the tin you mined, clotted cream, cream teas, cornish pasties, and being pirates, but now that might be as racist as saying thanks for being a slave

    • Sorry, was it too soon to mention slavery? Maybe I should wait for another 300 years before mentioning it again, unless people are still sensitive about it

      • Lord above! Political correctness has now stepped up a gear. Will it, I wonder, be consider “racist” to make jokes about scouser thieves, or to tar all of Yorkshiremen as being tight arsed bastards, or to insinuate all geordies are wife beating , whippet rearing alcoholics? This country is losing its sense of humour.
        (Mind you, I doubt they will bother if anyone insults the makkems)

    • Oh dear! I just scheduled a post over on mine insulting them…

      Never mind. Let’s see if they’ve got more of a sense of humour than the Welsh. Wouldn’t be difficult.

  5. If it becomes illegal to insult scousers, I will immediately turn myself into the nearest police station and confess to multiple counts of breaking the law. The only down side is that I will end up in prison with all the lying, whining, thieving pseudo irish fuck ups. News is mostly full of them whining how hard done by they are.

  6. I’m in Australia, where we seem to take a certain inexplicable pride in our sporting cunts. Nick Kyrgios – Nobel Prize-winning cunt – is considered a hero. Lleyton Hewitt used to be a mega-cunt but seems (at the age of 35) to have grown out of it a bit, just as he’s about to retire. Most of the Australian cricket team are cunts. The spare player, who brings on the drinks and gets to play if someone is injured or just fancies a rest is called the twelfth cunt. The player who is deemed to have performed best is awarded Cunt of the Match.

    World tennis, though – what a cuntcentrated cuntfederation of cunts. Maybe extreme cuntocity, long-term chronic cuntitude and incurable cuntitis are all neccessary to excel at the world’s most boring game. That doesn’t explain Roger Federer, though. Maybe he got good at tennis then had a cuntectomy.

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