Sacha Baron Cohen

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Ohh, Sacha Baron Cohen! Disappointing. You must have the cold sweat of ‘no inspiration’ trickling off your forehead to be now scraping the barrel of mirth so badly.

Cohen’s new comedy is called “Who Is America?” and, erm, it’s not very good. It has several characters (a bald leftie and an Israeli ex-soldier seem to dominate) who are acted and disguised well but alas, it seems the tap of comedy has run dry. He now languishes in the cemetery of Comedians: Making jokes about Trump.

Really? Are things that bad? You made Ali G, a genuinely funny creation with its finger clearly on the pulse of society. You’ve been edgy, puerile, dodgy, and offensive. You’ve made films like The Brothers Grimsby and The Dictator. It was even admirable when they weren’t so great (Bruno).

Borat was ace; filthy, vulgar, offensive and occasionally hilarious. Even the outtakes and media interviews were good like the press conference at Melbourne, Australia where he greeted the journalists (in character) with, “Good evening Convicts and Prostitutes!”

We need to poke fun at everything, we need to take the piss, especially out of politicians. However… this? From you? Laborious, dull clichés about racism and guns. This is weak and has the odour of desperation about it.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Dead Pool (109)

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Congratulations to Dioclese who wins Dead Pool 108 by successfully stealing Senator John McCain from Shaun and nominating somebody that we all actually heard of.

So we move on to Dead Poll 108.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

3. It actually has to be some newsworthy cunt that people have actually heard of!

Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Anne Hathaway

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Anne Hathaway is a cunt, isn’t she.

After the murder of a (black) woman by a (white) man Hathaway, who starred in the colossally shit Les Miserables, generously took to Instagram to talk at her fans:

“She was murdered in cold blood by a white man.” Hathaway, star of the woefully shit The Devil Wears Prada, continued:

“White people must take into their bones that ALL black people fear for their lives DAILY and have done for GENERATIONS.”

Sigh.

Hathaway, star of such political and complex heavyweight films as Bride Wars and The Princess Diaries 2, didn’t mention anything about the amount of white persons killed by blacks. She must’ve been too busy planning Rio 3 to notice the crimes by black people on black people. She must’ve been too busy counting her copious amount of loot to realise this constant “black this” and “white that” is perpetuating racism and stirring the pot.

It might be of interest to know that Hathaway, whose English accent in One Day was appallingly poor, hasn’t had a ‘hit’ film for a few years. Hmm.

Listen Sugartits, stop publicly preening yourself and signalling your disingenuous virtue. There is no such thing as White Privilege. Get over your wealth guilt, shut the fuck up, and return to making the dismal, sentimental vomit that fills the void in your lachrymose, lifeless fans’ misery.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Token black actors

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Black actors in Shakespeare, Historical Dramas. It is so crushingly clunky. If I see one in a Shakespear play holding up a spear-I always think they should be holding up a sign-‘token black’. It is so clunky. It breaks-‘our willing suspension of disbelief’.

Maybe the whole cast should black up?Dame Judi? I am genuinely interested. There were black extras in this last series of PolDARK (Mrs Plastic is a fan). But we all know there weren’t any black people in Cornwall at the time.

Nominated by Miles Plastic

Big Dick Energy

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I would like to nominate Big Dick Energy and its proponents for a full on cunting.. I’d never heard of this until the other day. Apparently it was started by the cunt known as Ariana Grande in a tweet about her boyfriend. It is described as “confidence without cockiness. It is never misplaced and cannot be simulated. It is the sexual equivalent of writing a cheque for ten grand knowing you’ve got it in the bank account.” If this weren’t baffling and bullshitty enough it reaches higher peaks of hilarity by stating that men with BDE include uber cunts such as Idris Elba, Chris Evans ( stop laughing at the back ), and Harry Styles amongst others. If you’re still following this lunacy it gets even better, it would seem that you don’t need a big dick to have BDE, in fact you don’t need a dick at all ! Ah ha !! Now we get to the nub of it, Wiminz are as likely, nay entitled to be brimming with BDE, famous cunts with cunts who fall into this catagory include Rihanna, Serena Williams and Cate Blanchett, who are all spurting great jets of the stuff 24hrs a day. Have you ever heard such bollocks ? This is nothing more than 21st. century, entitled, Wiminz penis envy, inclusivity horseshit.

Please let there be another war soon. Only mass bloodletting can stop this spiral into madness.

Nominated by Jack The Cunter