It appears that numerous record companies are remastering and re-releasing crap from the 80s on heavyweight (and coloured) LPs.

OK, the odd gem still resurfaces Manfred Mann’s first four 60s albums have just been reissued on record after many years), but record companies spending money on re-releasing the musical dregs of the 80s: like Five Star, Curiosity Killed The Cunt, The Thompson Twats, and Belinda Carlisle (OK, she was top of the 80s ‘To do’ list, but her music was pap), while great works from the likes of Humble Pie, Free, Jethro Tull, Faces, Blood Sweat and Tears, and Badfinger still remain unavailable on LP ?

It’s ludicrous, but I know who’s to blame… It’s all those coloured haired ripped jeans student cunts, who think that buying LPs is trendy and that all that 80s crap is ‘retro’ and ‘cool old school’…. Fucking cunts…

Nominated by Norman

My son-in-law collects vinyl. He is 35. He has lent me a Half Man Half Biscuit vinyl LP. I have put it on a USB stick because I am not a vinyl cunt. I have done this with all my vinyl so I can play them anywhere. Vinyl collectors seem to be hipster cunts.

80s music – Madness, Squeeze, Dire Straits, the Cars, Men at Work. The rest was forgettable for me.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

I would like to cunt India.

Fed up of hearing and reading how its gonna “overtake the West” with cutting edge IT and massively successful industry.

Utter bollocks. Won’t happen.

This is the same place that still relies on 70 year old ex-British Empire railway infrastructure ; suffers power cuts most summers because too many fuckers are illegally tapping it or have bought aircon units so the power network can’t cope.

Today there’s news of 300 odd drowned in the annual (and thus entirely predictable) monsoons (which is really 500 cos they don’t really give enough of a shit to count the bodies properly). Buildings and bridges fall down with monotonous regularity in a way the Italians would envy!

Hilarious when Guy Martin once visited that truck stop where these 10 Rupees a day old biddies were cutting up trucks to cannibalise and put back on the roads-bald tyres and all- perfectly legally !! Looming over them was this huge mountain of unprocessed, steaming pile of shit!!!

I went there 25yrs ago and said to the missus that it would still be the same shitheap in Year 2100 and I know I was being generous.

99% of the population scrape by hand to mouth ; 1% live the life of Riley on the back of it. Open sewers everywhere; rubble; litter; heat; flies; begging; poverty. The Ganges is a polluted dead river, a blot on the landscape.

Yes, India is a venerable cunt sized, world class dump.

Nominated by Isaac Hunt

Earlier on today I was enjoying some time in my garden, and thought I’d take a look to see how my late cropping strawberries were doing. Flicking among the leaves, I came across four or five of these stripey little pests busily hollowing out the fruit. Before I could bat an eyelid, there were not one but two sharp stabs on my forearm and I got well and truly stung off the little bastards, who promptly beat it before I could even think about gaining revenge.

Now I appreciate that the more ecologically minded might consider that wasps get a bit of an unfair press. They’re part of the food chain (yes, believe it or not, some animals actually eat them), and they help in the important process of pollination. Up until now, it’s fair to say that I’ve been neutral as far as my views on the subject are concerned, but that was before I had two throbbing lumps on my arm the size of golf balls to contend with (think I might have an allergy).

No doubt about it; they’ll ruin your picnic, ruin your barbeque, ruin your fruit crop, and scare your grandkids if they get the chance, and that’s before they turn vicious. To add insult to injury I’m sitting here in my garden chair trying to console myself, and one of the wee fuckers has just nosedived into my glass of wine. As far as I’m concerned, wasps serve one purpose and one purpose only, and that’s to be a total fucking nuisance.

I’m off now to roll up yesterday’s newspaper and tape up the ends. Retribution is coming, and the cunts have proper asked for it.

Nominated by Ron Knee