More millions of public money spent on these parasites. All because Airmiles Andy complained to Mumsy that his bitch should be treated the same as Hewitt’s ginger bastard.

Apparently they are having a piss up at Windsor on Friday night then another all day fuckfest on the Saturday involving bumper cars and other Michael Jacksonesque fairground attractions. Presumably there won’t be any pikeys trying to get their filthy hands up Eugenie’s skirt or shortchanging the poshboys who are not used to handling real money.

What a fucking farce!

Nominated by Freddie the Frog

Sarah Ferguson and Eugenie

A right royal (with optional 40 gun salute) cunting please for this ugly old chavvy ex royal and her pikey looking daughter on the latters wedding day.

For once the BBC has seen sense and is not putting the fucking freeloading heap of bollocks on TV live, so the doyen of tackiness, ITV’s Good Morning has taken over, with no doubt fawning, arsehole licking commentary from Her Royal Highness The Princess Philip Schofield, the queen of camp TV. If ever Limp Wrist becomes an Olympic event Queenie Schofield will win gold for Britain every fucking four years.

However, it seems we are paying millions of pounds so this pikey looking spawn of Airmiles Andy, and his obese ugly ex-wife (who sadly for her was born two centuries too late – she would have made an ideal whore for a King back then, if only Jonathan King to stop the rumours).

No doubt the ever grasping, greedy old cunt will have come to some financial arrangement with ITV for the *rights*, no doubt also tying in with a chav’s gossip magazine and the BBC will spend all the weeks budget on filming the waddle up to the church for the news but why should anyone be interested in the marriage of the ugly daughter of an ex-prostitute who just happened to have had her legs open for one of the ugliest princes Britain has ever produced. If the Ferguson woman was short of money, and Andy too tight to pay up, she should have got Bryant to pay to get his toes sucked by the topless old trollop as a trip down memory lane.

We shouldn’t have to pay for security and processions for the offspring of a shop soiled old has-been hag with the morals of a goat

Nominated by W.C.Boggs

Royal Family Promotional B/S
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m walking with an extra spring in my step after reading the latest bit of royal ‘news’ in ‘The Metro’.
The Duchess of Cambridge has returned to ‘official duties’ (the strain!) and showed that ‘she’s got the royal family’s knack of being thrifty when it comes to clothes’. Kate appeared in the £1,350 Emilia Wickstead dress that (*gulp*!) she first wore in Hamburg last year! As if this isn’t earth-shattering in itself, husband William (*gasp*!) ‘also had on the same suit he wore in the German city’! Lawd lav a dack an’ blow me dahn!
It heart-rending to see royalty taking the lead in these years of grinding austerity. It’s that Dunkirk spirit which so epitomises this great nation and which has seen us through some of the darkest hours in our history. My chest puffs with pride at the notion of being British.
Personally I was moved to tears by the nobility of this sacrifice, as no doubt were the millions on low incomes who face the day-to-day struggle to make ends meet. It’s a real morale booster to know that in these trying times, we truly are, as our great former leader David Cameron once so poetically put it, ‘all in this together’.
Gawd bless yer Sir and Ma’am, yer a hexample to us all.

Nominated by Ron Knee

A call-to-arms cunting of this ongoing debacle, all started by choice cunt and attention-hungry shitheel NFLer Colin Kaepernick. He became internationally famous for disobeying the NFL tradition of standing for the US anthem pre-match, and instead ‘taking the knee’ – or as I like to call it, ‘kneegroism’ – due to Colin’s claim that black players do not feel compelled to observe the anthem in a country where his creed are supposedly still brutally oppressed.

Irony of a multi-millionaire black guy made rich by the white man’s capitalism aside, let’s clarify a few things:
1) American Football is a cunt
2) Having to endure the Star-Spangled Banner during EVERY match is a cunt
3) The imported commercialism of the Superbowl is a cunt

The reason Colin makes the piss boil is because he has done this blatantly to compensate for the fact he is quite shit at NFL, and now moans racism be stopping him getting a new contract after being dropped and not signed by sny of the NFL teams. Thanks to him, amgry fans all over the US now have to endure endless shows of Kneegroism from fellow blacks who love a good whinge about ancient slavery and the like.

But just when you thought there were already too many shit-cooks fucking up this particularly well-simmered cunt-broth, in wades Nike to make Colin one of their commercial figureheads. Nike, supporters of the oppressed and purveyors of social justice, clearly forgetting that despite such a noble and moralistic crusade, they themselves pay Asian women the equivalent of 2p per day in sweatshops to manufacture their overpriced fabric shite.

Cunts one and all. Some might think ‘negro’ is offensive. Hopefully ‘Kneegro’ won’t bother anyone.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

“Channeling” is how my surgery describes the impertinent questioning of the receptionist every time I want an appointment to see my GP. “Channeling”, it is claimed, is designed to aid the efficient allocation of clinical resources. Fuck off.

It’s clearly designed so that my confidential medical history can be shared around the village. The only “channnel” of relevance is the receptionist’s gob which is the size of the Channel Tunnel. If “Channeling” isn’t enough now we have fucking “Sharing” as in shared GP appointments in groups of up to 15 people.

The Russian GRU are rank amateurs compared to the GP’surgery. Want your confidential information out in the public domain? Come along and share it with 14 gobby bastards at your next appointment. Fuck! This effort has prolapsed them again. Cunts all.

Nominated by Fimbriations

I know a lot of students are arses, but this nomination is titled as follows:
Student arses are cunts…..

As I travel to work and back on Manchester’s transport system (usually the Metrolink), the college and university students are back again, and the amount of fit arses on show is getting to be a bit too much for this approaching middle age cunter…. Nowadays the young ladies either wear the classic tight jeans or the even tighter than a snare drum leggings or jogging pants… Too many beautiful backsides to mention, but there’s one English blonde early 20s student, who has the most magnificent rear bumper and she Had a good natter with me yesterday… Nice girl, but fucking hell, I’d be a lying cunt if I said I’d refuse if she was up for a bit…. I’m getting to old for this sort of thing, but I feel like Wile .E. Coyote when he sees the Roadrunner as a plate of dinner with all the trimmings…

Nominated b Norman

I see that MP Jacob Rees-Mogg has been targeted outside his house by a bunch of rent-a-crowd gobshites, this time from self-styled ‘anarchist group’ Class War.
This bunch of abhorrent, santimonious loonies doorstepped The Mogg and his family, hurling such niceties as ‘your dad’s a really horrible person’ at his kids.
Now The Mogg’s a big boy, and can take the rough and tumble of politics, but having these offensive wasters turn up at your door spouting their bile, particularly when it’s aimed at your kids, is way, way beyond the pale. These prats should be ashamed of themselves, but shame is not something they probably have; no doubt it’s too ‘bourgeois’ a concept to consider according their orthodoxy.
Still, every time these septics carry on like this is a time when they undoubtedly antagonise and alienate yet more people, so I suppose some good might come of it yet. But I’m already antagonised, so a simple ‘fuck you’ will suffice as far as I’m concerned.

Nominated by Ron Knee