Charlie Mullins is a cunt, isn’t he.

This is the irritating cockney, and not at all contrived stereotype, who started Pimlico Plumbers and keeps popping up everywhere giving his unqualified opinion on everything.

Despite looking like he’s in a trannîe version of Bananarama, he’s cultivated the character of a conscientious grifter and made copious amounts of folding stuff. Innit

Where do you stand on Tax?
“Na listen, I ain’t ‘ad no privileged upbringing so let me teww you somefink…”
Where do you stand on Brexit?
“Na listen, I ain’t ‘ad no privileged upbringing so let me teww you somefink…”
Vaccines?
“Na listen, I ain’t ‘ad no privileged upbringing so let me teww you somefink…”

If he’s so much of a wor’in’ class geezer, what’s with the fluffy Kajagoogoo bouffant, cropped eyebrows, and botox’d visage? He’s supposed to be a plumber but acts more like he’s at a wedding reception in Witherspoons tucking into a meat pie and a pint of piss.

Now he’s finkin’ of runnin’ for mayor coz he reckons he’s your china plate, he finks he’s a bi’ of a Julius Caesar, but really he’s a just Charlie Hunt.

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous

Helpful link supplied by: Miserable northern cunt

Standard News Link

I used to think that saying meant that when your body is feeling something, anything, you should actually consider that a signal for something.

Not anymore. Since entering my late 50s, I’ve found that I really don’t have a fucking choice about listening to my body anymore.

Dear cunters, I’m sure most will think “ at that age, yes, you should be aware of what your body is telling you “. Well, like I said, I don’t have a choice.

From the moment I awake, all I can hear is my belly, my arse, my joints, and now I’ve got fucking tinitus. I’m really looking forward to going deaf.

Getting older is a right cunt if you ask me.

Nominated by: Cuntington Smythe

Michael Fabricant and His Extraordinary Hair

Earlier today I watched with fascination as MP Michael Fabricant tried to put a positive gloss on his boss’s involvement in the notorious ‘Partygate’ scandal.

The source of my fascination was not however the content of the interview itself. Rather, I was fixated by the spectacle of Mr Fabricant’s amazing hair. Could this preposterous barnet possibly be real I asked myself, or (as seems more likely) is it in fact a ludicrously bad syrup?

Initially I was of the opinion that the nation must be told the truth. But after briefly pondering on the matter, I decided that in this case, the truth is actually irrelevant.

Either way, the man looks like a total cunt.

YouTube Link

Nominated by: Ron Knee