I never hear people called by a nickname these days…presumably people are afraid to give each other nicknames for fear of offending someone or getting arrested for “hate-speech”.

I remember a few really clever ones over the years….There was an idle bugger whose surname was “Keane”,,,he was known as “Notso”. A landlord who had lost a limb and short-changed people when they were pissed..he was “The One-Armed Bandit”. A young ‘un called “Brown” who was known as “Strangely” due to the fact he appeared to have a touch of the tarbrush despite his parents being white. “Grizzly” who was a very plain, dumpy little woman who wore a long fake-fur coat when prowling about the village and was a maneater.

Yet none of them ever spat the dummy about their nicknames…took it all as a joke…nowadays they’d be suffering from PTSD and organising a GoFundMe appeal to send them on a holiday to get over the trauma.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdeNjU3S0X4
(Funny nickname related link provided by Night Admin – NA)

Nominated by: Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler..Mayor of Simpleton

My wife watches this shit (Honest, not me, never .No) Anyway where to start:

There are 12 cunts in the tent. By demographics this should be 2 effniks and perhaps 1 uphill gardener.
However, as usual there has been massive racial discrimination. Against guess who?

We have 5 effniks, mostly not even British as per programme title. One appears to be of the gay persuasion.
A Pole who also lifts shirts. But is white.
What may or may not be a trannie.
2 Jocks, one of whom seems a bit limp wristed.
2 ‘normal’ women. Yes, just 2.

Add the completely unfunny pair of cunts who engage in ‘banter’ One of whom looks like a victim of the gay plague. The other is simply a cunt.

And there we have C4 version of modern Britain. God help us.

Great British Bake Off Article Link

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

I have of late been reconsidering, revaluating morals that TV preached to me as youth.

Different strokes
A wealthy fruity Batchelor adopts two little ghetto black kids, in a kind act of early virtue signalling.
Think their parents were in prison or crack addicts or something?
Where was social services?!!
What were his real motives?
I can only guess.

Happy Days
A elderly Jewish midget starts to hang round some teenagers in a milk bar, he wins their confidence.
What do the parents do?
Invite him to live with them!!
To say the Cunningham’s were naive is a huge understatement.

Mork and Mindy
A ADHD coked up alien lands in a egg,
Mindy finds this annoying extraterrestrial,
Does she inform the authorities?
No.
Endangers the human race to space influenza,
Doesn’t tell anyone.
Luckily Mork didn’t infect anyone and went on to make the world laugh in ever increasingly funny films.
Everyone loved Robin Williams.

But the lessons from the carefree 70s are tantamount to reckless endangerment.
I’ll never trust TV again.

YouTube Link

Nominated by: Miserable northern cunt

(Did a Google search for Old School school uniforms and this was top of the list. Honest, guv! – Day Admin)

Hell is back to school

I’ve seen endless reports about kids being put in the naughty corner for wearing shoes, socks that don’t comply with school rules.
Well love, if Clarks don’t make plain black shoes, complain to Clarks.
Rules is rules, and frankly I’d rather have the Gradly lass in trousers, reference a school that has removed skirts from its uniform list in favour of trousers.
It’s whinging and moaning at its best and I’m supposed to be sympathetic?
Well no, my daughter got the uniform requirement list, and we both searched for the best priced options.
So fuck off, you moaning twats. You scored 0/10 because you didn’t do your homework.

Daily Record News Link

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

Peppa Pig is a cunt, isn’t she.

Apparently, a pro-LGBTQ petition garnered over 23,000 signatures demanding that the show add a homo couple to be more inclusive to children without traditional families.

“I’m Penny Polar Bear. I live with my mummy and my other mummy,” she tells her classmates. “One mummy is a doctor and one mummy cooks spaghetti. I love spaghetti,” the child bear says as she makes a drawing of her family. It doesn’t mention whether the lêsboe mums were teaching their child to loathe men or were just scissoring.

Maybe this character could have their own spin-off show: Doughnut-punching with Penny (bi-) Polar Bear.

Perhaps they will soon introduce more characters: Trannîe Tortoise, Hip-Hop Hyena, Muzlim Maggot, Pæedo Pig.

“Hello kids!”

Yahoo News Link

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous