A guest post by Dead Pool winner, Sir Limply Stoke…
Ever since that pathetic Darling’s cunt in the headlights showing against wobbly arsed arch paedo Salmond in the last referendum debate, have been waiting for me blood pressure to come down long enough to get this out. Brown’s former bum boy let the jockey shite give him a kicking just before all the postal votes went orf. Handed the advantage to the jocko wanker gift wrapped and sealed with a nice wet kiss and a tongue up the arse. Beggers belief. Or does it?
Apart from his public school sexual inclination, why has Cameron bent over backwards to give Salmond every advantage possible – a long run up to the referendum, votes for the under 18s rabidly anti-English “Brave Heart” generation, any number orf financial guarantees, excluded the rest orf the country from such a fundamental decision making process that affects us all – the list is endless. And who has he left with the matches in a fucking gas filled room? The biggest shower orf shite on the planet, the Labour Party!
Correct. The “Better Together” campaign is being run in jockoland by labour party hacks while Cameron and his goons will not go near the place, content to let dumb cunts the likes orf Darling and Brown and Murphy fuck the campaign thus allowing Salmond and his Orcs to torch the place. There is no logic to this other than to destroy the bulwark orf Labour Party support in Westminster. In furtherance orf this blinkered political dodge the cunt Cameron and his wanking stooges are willing to destroy the Union. Buggers belief.
Once again there is no “Plan B” as the shite hits the fan other than to pour billions orf our money into rapacious jocko pockets in panic bribes as the cunts try to hold us to ransom. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Backs against the wall. Finest hour. Never surrender ect ect. Had a midnight war council with me faithful vulture Gristle, me butler and certain distinguished personages. Fortified with a few bottles orf me favourite whiskey (note spelling, as a patriot I am drinking Irish) it was agreed to issue the following communiqué:
Press Release: Most Urgent: Action This Day:
Keep Calm and Fuck the Jockos
Sir Limply Takes Charge
- Hence forward the “Better Together” campaign will be rebranded as the “Fuck the Jockos” campaign.
-
All transport out orf jockoland – road, air, rail, sea ect will be subject to one way toll charges.
-
All “artistic” jocko cunts particularly rock musicians and alleged comedians will not be allowed south orf the border upon pain orf castration.
-
The border north between Berwick upon Tweed and Gretna Green will be patrolled by Big Issue sellers and aggressive Romanian beggers.
-
North orf the border the sale orf Mars Bars for personal use will be subject to swinging taxes.
-
Any “cool” black dude or musician caught wearing a kilt will have his bollocks cut orf.
-
Play the paedo card (no, not me you cunts). That bairn sucking greasy cheeked tosser Salmond will be outed immediately alongside the entire jocko legal profession.
-
Any jocko cunt (subject to clause (3) above) allowed to work south orf the border will be subject to an extortionate Jocko Tax).
-
All bribes including, but not limited to, those paid by way orf NHS subsidies, bank bailouts, infrastructure, propping up ailing industries, positive discrimination and diversification (parachuting in tens orf thousands orf government jobs filched from the rest orf the country), will be repaid immediately to the hard pressed British economy plus interest.
-
All jocko women will be subject to an Ugly Cunt Tax unless a personal exemption is arranged with Sir Limply.
As a true patriot and defender orf the democratic ideals orf our once great nation I await your comments and suggestions. To those that may disagree, allow me to quote the stirring words orf Cleisthenes, the father orf Athenian democracy “You no like, then you fuck orf innit”.
