Chris Evans [5]

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I detest the four-eyed ginger Spacca. I just wish that he’d been to school with me. I’d have bullied the Cunt relentlessly until he couldn’t speak without a stutter and pissing himself. Wouldn’t have made much of a DJ if he swamped the studio with drool and piss every time he tried to open his flap.

I haven’t listened to the bastard for months. I couldn’t stand the endless talk about his family,very big house in the country and cars. However this morning after that fucking “Angels” song by Robbie (arsebandit) Williams started up on my new channel, I retuned to Radio 2. I was just in time to hear The Cunt Evans banging on about “Glasto” next year. That was enough for me,anyone who talks about “Glasto” is obviously a rampaging half-wit.

I had hoped that after getting the sack from Top Gear that the braggart would be so ashamed that he would load his family into one of his “I’ve just bought such and such car for £250k, blah,blah,blah) vehicles, loop a 50 yard long rope around all of their necks,tie one end to a tree in the grounds of his country estate and drive off at 90mph.

Apparently Evans has been encouraging his 5 year old son to wear a dress…as a DJ,I wonder if Chris’ll Fix It for the child to make an early appearance on the celebrity circuit?

Fuck him.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

The Beckham media circus

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A real front page cunting is in order for elderly footballer ponce David Beckham and his ugly brats. Every day every tabloid in the land has some vacuous photo-op like this one:

Who cares what the old media whore is up to?. Is there no level below which he would fail to stoop to get his fucking face in the papers?. He seems to think everyone is fascinated by his oxygen-wasting life, and the kids since birth have been employed to fuel. Right from the Beckham’s first born getting circumcised, to the last one looking for a school there is no part of their lives this pair of arseholes is not prepared to make public to ensure they keep in the public eye. Their insane desire for publicity seems even more extreme than Anthony Blair and his equally ugly family.

Beckham is encouraging his kids to grow up to be self-obsessed poofs.

Nominated by W.C. Boggs

The Left [2]

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The left are due a nomination. Jacob Rees Mogg made the silly decision to advertise the fact he was on holiday in New York on the internet. So left wing retards descended on his home and vandalised the place. Apparently, they sprayed the words, “posh scum” on his windows and, “shut up and die” and, “dickhead” on his garage. They also scattered condoms on his garden, presumably a reference to him being Catholic, and left an effigy of Corbyn…sorry…a dildo…on the bonnet of his wife’s Range Rover and painted the symbol for anarchy on the car.

The fact that these democracy hating sacks of shit have only done this while he was away, says a lot about how cowardly they are. And it’s not just Tories they are attacking now. Corbyn’s followers are calling for the Noncefinder General himself, Tom Watson, to quit as deputy leader of the Labour Party, after he commented on the Party’s dismal failure to tackle anti-Semitism within its ranks. And Tony Benn’s granddaughter has received online abuse from Momentum morons, after she similarly criticised Labour for failing get rid of the many racists and anti-Semites.

Lefties have always been enemies of democracy, free speech, reasoned debate and many of the other things that all free, civilised countries enjoy. They’ve also been quick to level accusations of racism, Islamophobia, sexism, homophobia, etc at others. And their response when those same accusations have been levelled at them, has been violence, intimidation, talking and shouting over people who were trying to comment, to drown them out, insults and general immature behaviour. However, that’s all become far worse since their Messiah, Corbyn was elected leader of the Labour party.

And when he was first elected as Labour leader, he promised “a kinder, gentler politics”. Those words have since proved to be a lie. In recent weeks, Momentum have been likened to Militant Tendency, that bunch of far left loons who infested the Labour party back in the 80’s. I would go further than that. Momentum’s behaviour, especially since the anti-Semitism scandal broke, has been more akin to the behaviour of the Nazi party in the 1930’s.

We all remember Thornberry’s tweeting of a photo of an Essex white van man’s house, covered in England flags. The sneering tone and unspoken disapproval of an Englishman and England in general, not to mention the implication that the man was racist, Islamophobic, etc, is not an exception, it’s the rule. The entire left wing hate the UK, especially England and the English people. They hate democracy, they despise freedom of speech and freedom of thought and they firmly believe that anyone who does not subscribe to their fucked up beliefs is ‘far’ right. And if you dare to publicly change those beliefs, you will be met with most vile abuse, insults, threats and intimidation.

For them to call anyone scum, is hypocrisy at its worst. THEY are scum. THEY are the ones who pose a serious threat to this country and our way of life. The left, are cunts of the highest magnitude.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Smart Meters

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(riiiiing)

Cuntish Gas Supplier: Hello, I’m phoning to arrange a time when we can fit the new Smart Meter.

Captain M: Wow. Has it been a whole year since you called?

Cuntish Gas Supplier: Well I ‘ave tried 23 times this week.

Captain M: As I tell you every year, I don’t want a Smart Meter.

Cuntish Gas Supplier: I’m just phoning to arrange a time-

Captain M: Why are you so obsessed! I don’t want to be hacked or for it to go on fire after being badly installed.

Cuntish Gas Supplier: That hasn’t happened for days.

Captain M: And will it be more difficult to switch gas/electricity suppliers?

Cuntish Gas Supplier: No, no, no. Not at all, mate. Definitely not. All false. Hearsay and lies.

Captain M: Really?

Cuntish Gas Supplier: Alright it’ll be a nightmare. But it’ll bring an end to them estimated bills!

Captain M: Oh?

Cuntish Gas Supplier: No, not really. Not at all, in fact.

Captain M: Great, speak to you next year.

Cuntish Gas Supplier: There is loads of evidence that Smart Meters will save you money AND energy!

Captain M: (sigh)

Cuntish Gas Supplier: Naa, that’s a lie too. No evidence at all.

Captain M: I’ve even heard they’re difficult to understand. Like listening to an argument between Ian “Lan-daaan” Wright and Roy “King Pikey” Keane?

Cuntish Gas Supplier: They’re not AS difficult as that, but…

Captain M: As I ask you every year, can you give me one genuinely good reason to install a smart meter?

Cuntish Gas Supplier: Yeah! They were first championed by Ed Milliband….

…Hello…? Captain M…?

…Hello…?

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Smart meters are supposed to mean an end to estimated bills and to enable you to save energy.

First I use what I need to use so how the fuckity fuck does it save me money on my lecky bill? Secondly they run on electricity so it actually costs me more not less.

Finally, I don’t give a flying fuck about estimated bills because I pay by monthly direct debit so unless they are going to charge me in arrears based on actual usage rather than in advance for an agreed amount, I really couldn’t care less if they estimate the bill.

And given that they rack up a huge payment in advance every summer, they’re not going to change their billing system are they? They’re a con and a fucking great big waste of time, but the snowflakes love ’em ‘cos they look cool on your Twatphone.

Nominated by Pedantic Cunt

Mark Carney [4]

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A “safe as the Bank of England” cunting for this Canadian arsehole, head of the aforesaid BoE and arch Remainer. This morning he has told the equally anti-Brexit BBC the prospect of the UK leaving the EU without a deal was “a relatively unlikely possibility, but it is a possibility”. Of course it leads the R4 news and will for the whole fucking day.

Carney farting his fucking brains out of his arsehole yet again, word-spinning and trying to stir up more panic amongst the snowflakes and poofy Labour MPs who have made it their life’s work to overturn democracy because they don’t like it.

Nominated by W.C. Boggs

Another cunting for that wankstain Carney. Governor of the Bank of England.

Despite being wrong on each and every forecast, he is at it again. Doom and fucking gloom if we don’t roll over to the EU. Oh, and justifying his Armageddon forecast pre-referendum using terms that will be familiar to Jim Bowen fans – ‘This is what you could have had’
If we had done as we were told, apparently all would be the best of all possible worlds.

The result?

‘The pound declined on the currency markets in the wake of Mr Carney’s comments, falling below the $1.30 mark, before recovering some ground.’

Fuck off back to Canada you remoaning, establishment cunt. You will fit in well with Monsieur Trudeau and the rest of the loons.
Cunt.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Questions that are unanswerable:
➖ When did time begin?
➖ Who made God?
➖ Why hasn’t Mark Carney resigned yet?

The Governor of the Bank of England warned that Britain faced an “uncomfortably high” risk of a no deal Brexit, which he said would lead to higher prices.

Sigh.

The poutine-eating Canuck continued saying banks had “done the stockpiling” and could survive a recession that meant property prices falling by a third, interest rates increasing by four percentage points, six months of snow to fall and zombie dragons invading to eat small children.

Yes, Carney really say that property prices could fall by a third.

The maple syrup-eating prick has previous experience with Fearmongering. However nothing he has predicted about Brexit has happened.

Nothing.

Cameron peddled this nonsense (debt, World War III, etc) and consequently resigned; Osborne peddled this nonsense (£4300 extra for every family, Global Brexit recession – the day AFTER the vote!) and consequently resigned; therefore why is Carney still here?
▪
Questions that are answerable:
➖ Will Carney continue making ridiculous Brexit predictions?
➖ Is Carney a mendacious, snake-oil salesman?
➖ Is Carney a bit of a cunt?

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

And a brief cunting for the continuing saga of Project Fear. Another day, another scare.

Today the BBC is telling us that Police leave will be cancelled due to the likely outbreak of civil unrest when we leave the EU. This of course originates in Whitehall and is given due prominence by the good old BBC. Yesterday Carney’s scaremongering was their lead. All day.
I have already stockpiled sandwiches, au pairs, food and flights. It now seems that I need stab vests and pepper spray.

When will we see sense and crawl back?

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble