Tourists

Not every tourist is a cunt. When I go on holiday, I’m a bloody tourist. Whether the locals think I’m a cunt is up to them; I’m not too bothered. I go on holiday to sit on a beach with the hope of looking like a sun-dried tomato when I return home. I don’t go on holiday to make people’s lives a misery with my obnoxious behaviour, oversized backpack and wank selfie stick. However, as I mentioned before, not all tourists are cunts; just a vast majority of them.

First of all we have the boozy Brit cunts. I’m ashamed to be from the same island as these fuckers. A mix of obese beer-bellied arses, randy used-up old slappers and arrogant jacked-up Danny Dyer wannabe pricks. All from rough council estates and on benefits. The locals must despair of them.

Then we have the stereotypical Yank tossers with their straw hats, binoculars round their necks, distasteful Hawaiian shirts, cargo shorts and not forgetting the socks with sandals combo. A whole gang of them clustered round Leicester Square or outside Fuckingham Palace. Huge Canon cameras and oversized maps to hand, obviously.

The worst of all are the fucking Chinks and Jap bastards. Endless groups of them and they are fucking everywhere. Taking pictures of everything from a pavement pizza outside the local pub to a homeless bloke who’s just overdosed on smack and is mid-seizure. This country is plagued with foreigners. Everywhere you look there is at least one. Sometimes I go out thinking I’m in a different country altogether. Fuck off.

Nominated by, Jayniño

It’s time for snowflakes to receive another cunting, they’ve earned it.

It’s emerged Oxford University has removed a photograph of Theresa May from the wall of women at her old geography department, after whingeing prick snowflakes protested about her creating a ‘hostile environment policy’ while at the Home office. They complained that she was a ‘contentious figure in a department with many EU citizens and de-colonial scholars’. Well boo-fucking-hoo. While the photo was initially removed, it seems that someone at Oxford has at least some common sense, and it’s being reported that the photo is now back on the wall. For how long remains to be seen. Still, it’s a small victory for sanity.

It’s bad enough that these little shits complain about the most trivial things, but what really makes me angry, is that the University authorities, councils, schools, in all publicly funded organisations give in to their dickery. What they should be doing is telling them, in the words of Samuel L Jackson; “Welcome to the real world motherfuckers. People have opinions that differ from yours. Learn the fuck to live it, because that will never change. Nobody gives a fuck if you’re offended. Nobody gives a fuck if a differing opinion upsets you or makes you tremble in fear. We would be living in a motherfucking shithole if everyone thought like you pussies”.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Paul (Wank) Staines, aka Guido Fawkes deserves a cunting. This fat cunt often criticises those on the political left for name calling and insulting those on the right. Today, (Tuesday 29th May), he went into hypocrite mode by calling Tommy Robinson’s supporters “knuckledraggers”. Now I’m a big boy, so name calling isn’t something I get overly upset about. But I do get quite annoyed by hypocrisy. By insulting people who are using their human right to protest at the ridiculously harsh sentencing of a man exercising HIS right to freedom of speech, Staines has given up his right to criticise others for their insults.

The Guido Fawkes blog used to be a reasonably interesting read. Over the year or so though, Staines seems to have disappeared up his arse, believing that he’s more important than he actually is. Even more recently, he’s taken to turn off the comments on certain posts. And he’s even started deleting perfectly reasonable (to those of us who still have a fully functioning sense of perspective) comments. And this is someone who criticises politicians for trying to suppress freedom of speech.

Paul Staines, you are a cunt.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

I’d like to nominate China for a cunting. Not Chinese people as such (although Chinese tourists with their fucking awful shell suits and total lack of social awareness are total cunts), or indeed China as a geographic area, but China as a state and China as the imaginary entity so lauded by modern western “free thinkers” and lefty cunts.

1. China – no matter what others might say about sub-prime mortgages and the credit crunch – fucked up the world’s economy with its total lack of economic acumen. Cunt.
2. China is creating a future even-worse-migration-crisis by bribing African shitholes then sucking them dry. Cunt.
3. China is fucking up the world’s fragile fish stocks by ignoring international and localised fishing conventions. Cunt.
4. Chinese culture thinks it’s acceptable for people to torture dogs and hunt tigers to extinction in order to make them more potent in bed and to make them look hard. It does neither. Weak cunts.

We keep getting told how China is a force to be reckoned with in many spheres. So;

1. How come they all wear western clothes?
2. How come all modern Chinese buildings are based on European architecture?
3. How come China regularly had the shit kicked out of it by Japan (on home soil)?
4. How come China can’t do anything well apart from Table Tennis (you know, that kid’s game played by under-12s at dodgy church youth clubs) and yet there’s 1.2 billion of the cunts?
5. How come all the mathematics principles the Chinese kids are forced to learn off by heart originated in Europe?
6. How come the music played on pianos in China was all written by Europeans?

I’ll tell you how come – because China is a fucking cunt, that’s why.

Nominated by DaveM

Saturday Night Live are cunts…
A show that, of course, should have died a death years ago… Gone are the days of Murray, Chase, and Belushi and the satirical stuff they were good at… In their day anyone, and both Republicans and Democrats were fair game and that’s how it should be on a comedy show… But now Saturday Shite Live is merely a libtard propaganda vehicle… Democrats are never figures of fun and Obama and (especially) Kilary are untouchable… All they ever do on this pile of libfuck crap now is (attempt to) take the piss out of Big Don and his family…. Every single fucking episode is Trump, Trump and more Trump… These snowflake fucks claim the moral high ground, but they don’t actually have any… SNL is now planning yet another ‘Anti-Trump Special’ featuring the obligatory libslag, Skanklett Johnansscunt, that Alec Baldwin cunt, and -wait for it – Stormy Fucking Daniels… So, these libmongs despise Big Don, yet they’re willing to work with someone who not only fucked him, but fucked him for money?! They are typical leftist turds. who would be pally with Jack The Ripper and Ghengis Khan if they said they hated Big Don… Cunts!

Nominated by, norman