Daleks

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Daleks, fucking Daleks would you fucking believe it. Well in need of an Inter-Galatic Cunting.

When i was a kid I was always safe in the knowledge that if they really invaded earth I’d always be able to escape their evil intentions and their desire to ‘exterminate’ anything that threatened them or they didn’t like by simply running up the stairs.

How wrong could I have been.

Yesterday I turned on the telly and can you believe it, right in front of me was what I must assume is the latest generation Dalek.

I was reminded of the Terminator 1 and 2 films and how the next generation was much more human like than its predecessor, T2 could experience pain and had ‘feelings’.

Daleks have indeed come a long way. The T2 Dalek I watched was so advanced it could actually feel offended and victimised and has actually gone as far as reporting a politician for a hate crime.

Whatever will they think of next? Thought crime?

Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface

Daleks are fucking useless. How many times have they had the dead drop on the Doctor, it’s a fair cop and bang to rights, without doing him on the spot? Naturally he’ll duck out again at the first opportunity, and give the mardy arsed tin cans yet another right kicking up their metal arseholes.

Take over the universe? Yer ‘aving a larf. They couldn’t take the skin off a rice pudding.

PS. Cybermen are even more fucking useless than Daleks, and that’s really saying something.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Dead Pool [107]

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Congratulations to me (Shaun) again for scoring his 22nd Deadpool hit by picking Kiwi singer songwriter guitar player and hellraiser Spencer P Jones who died today after a long period of illness aged 61.He played in dozens of New Zealand bands including The Johnny`s and also released several solo albums including the appropriately named rumour of death in 1994.

on to Deadpool 107

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open on this post only. AND BEFORE YOU NOMINATE, FUCKING READ THE EXISTING NOMS TO CHECK THAT NONE OF YOUR PICKS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY! Good luck

Shaun`s picks:
John McCain
Leah Bracknell
Bill Turnbull
Denise Nickerson
Chris Wilson (Blues Musician)

Demanding fans

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Demanding fans are cunts….
The sort of cunt that expects a say in an artist’s work or how a film or TV show should go… Peter Kay recently did a(nother) final episode of Car Share: simply because mongs on social media were ‘heartbroken’ and ‘outraged’ that there wasn’t a syrupy and soppy ending like they wanted…. Kay should have told the sad pricks to fuck right off… Now Star Wars fancunts are ‘petitioning’ (oh, my fucking sides!) to have Princess Leia re-cast in the form of Concorde Conk Devil Streep… Fans of any kind should have no say whatsoever in what they are watching or listening to… Charlie Watts had it right when he was asked about ‘Satanic Majesties’ being apparently ‘crap’… Charlie said ‘I don’t care if people don’t like it… It is what it is, and we should stand or fall by our product’….

Nominated by Norman

Princess Eugenie

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No great revelation that a “Royal” is a Cunt, I know, but this vacuous sow has confirmed it. The cost of security for her wedding has reached £2 million and rising,no doubt. She undertakes no Royal duties,probably too busy going on holiday…25 days worth in the first ten weeks of her new job…8 holidays in 15 months.

When the Police are desperately stretched I can’t see that having to divert so much in the way of manpower and resources to guard this pudding-faced leech can really be justified. She could just of easily had a quiet(ish) wedding like Princess Anne’s daughter, Zara Philips, but no,this ridiculous bitch expects the taxpayer to pay the security costs involved in a full-bore,open-carriage journey through the streets of London.

It’s not as if even the most ardent Bert and Doris Nutter can really be interested in this Royal Wedding. They must have realised that this particular example of the dangers of generations of inbreeding isn’t relevant. She’s just a spoiled,stupid,lazy Cunt who seems to believe that she is entitled to special treatment,and the Plebs can pick up the bill.

I’m no fan of the Royals, but when these minor members of the Freeloader family still treat the taxpayer with such contempt, even Monarchists must admit that the time for these parasites to Fuck Off has nearly arrived. The soap-opera of the biggest benefit sponging family in the land has delighted us long enough.

Wouldn’t bother me if a Haj-sized crowd of mentally ill “British citizens” decided to recreate “Convoy” and truck their way right through the Royal nuptials..just hope they have plenty of diesel to make sure they can reverse back up over any chinless wonder, ermine- bedecked scrounger who has evaded the first drive-by.

Fuck them.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

Virgin Media

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Virgin media deserve a cunting.

I get home to find out that several channels in my tv package have been removed. One of which had two series set to record, another couple I used to watch now and again. It’s ok though, they’ve been replaced with channels that only people cunted on this website would watch, like ‘Vice’ for example, and some others that come from the bottom of the barrel.

I was reassured after my last complaint that my bill would not increase, so instead they swap channels for cheap shit that only people who belong on the Jeremy Kyle show would watch. Trying to contact them to complain requires the resources of Bletchley Park, to end up speaking to some Indian, which doesn’t surprise me too much as there must be two dozen channels on virgin tv dedicated to them.

The only respite in all of this is I’m using their own fucking fibre optics to cunt the bastards.

Nominated by Duke of Cuntshire