Alex Salmond’s ‘Crowd-funder’

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Well it looks as though ‘ The Alex Salmond Show’ is set to run and run.
The turd that will not flush has now resigned from the SNP to spare the party ’embarrassment’ while he fights accusations of sexual harassment. Meantime, he’s taking action against the Scottish Government to contest the complaints process used against him, and has started up a ‘crowd funder’ so that punters can donate towards his legal costs.
This cunt has a brassneck wider than the Firth of Forth, but given that many saps in the nationalist movement in Scotland appear to have more money than sense, no doubt the cash will roll in. I’ve got a few souvenir Confederate dollars I picked up when on holiday in the States, and he’s more than welcome to these. Or maybe I’ll send him the old nine bob note that’s been lying in the bottom of my desk drawer for yonks, because I reckon the slimy fucker’s as bent as one.

Nominated by Ron Knee

And just to prove what a shed load of gullible cunts there are in Jockland, the cunt hit his target in less than two hours

Sarah Millican [2]

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Sarah Millican is a mammoth Geordie cunt.

Her grating voice annoys the fuck out of me. She voices those current Tesco food love adverts on the wireless and the idiot lantern. I am sure you fellow cunters have heard these and like me, reacted somewhat badly to them.

“Howay pet, tender steeeak matoored for tweny woon days, pet. You can taste the steeak through wor ears pet, listen to the fooker sizzle. Yummy I’m off to fill wor fat guts pet with half a fooking dead cow pet”

Every time I hear that fucking advert I want to beat fucking cunthole Millican to death with a whole frozen T bone steak. Irritating, Geordie cunt.

Nominated by Paul Maskinback

Theresa May [17]

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Theresa May is still a monumental cunt…

The PM we all know and don’t love has announced plans to boost Britain’s investment in Africa after Brexit, during her first trip to the continent as prime minister….

In a speech in Cape Town, she pledged £4bn in support for African economies, to create jobs for young people….

4 billion?! Tickety fucking boo… But there’s only one (OK, three) problems with that…

1. The UK is supposed to be skint… It can’t afford decent police, a decent armed forces,
public transport is shit, health care is overran (guess why), bins aren’t emptied, libraries are closing etc…

2. Aren’t most of this lot now over here in Blighty anyway? Last March (the so-called Beast From The East) Manchester looked like a cross between the set of Zulu and Scott Of The Antarctic… Not to mention the hordes of them outside a Manchester court, ‘protesting’ because one of their ‘brothers’ had been (rightfully) sent down for rape…

3. The aforementioned dark chappies and their ‘wifeys’ don’t want to fucking work (and won’t)… They don’t have to, not with the UK lavishing free money, housing, and healthcare on them… Whatever they want, they fucking get… They want to get the cunts to work over here before they throw money at them to work over there…

So fuck off Appeaser May, you Judas cunt!

Nominated by Norman

Theresa May has got to be one of the UK’s better known cunts with a little power. She seriously misjudged the electorate when she asked them to strengthen her hand in Brexit negotiations. She was truly cunted at the ballot box and clung to power by doing a deal with the DUP, who have members and supporters who famously nearly cunted Thatcher into an early grave, in their assassination attempt at the Brighton hotel in October 1984. I nominate that May is cunted out of power by her backstabbing cabinet following a no-deal Brexit in March 2019. She has proved worthy of her nomination following her lukewarm concern at the Grenfell tower massacre and making such Tory-out-of-touch cunty remarks like “there’s no magic money tree” in response to concerns over the Tory austerity that’s ravaged the poor since 2010.

Nominated by northerncunter

Ungrateful Parents

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I want to Cunt Ungrateful Parents.

I mean these spongers who whine over things like when their latest rat-faced brat can’t go to the same school as it’s siblings,,”Eh,wor poor Ebony-Charise’s nivver been apart from Romeo-Dylan, Kylie-Adele, and whatever the other ‘uns called. It’s not rite parting the bairns.”

Mother is invariably a single parent,and her brood straddle the entire spectrum in both colour and learning needs. The lazy trout doesn’t work but her hobbies include scratching lottery cards and smoking, “me tabs,eh,I cannet cope without me tabs”. Normally outfitted by Sports Direct,they slob around in “trackies” and trainers,oblivious to the revolted stares of normal people glimpsing some 20 stone,saggy-titted sea-lion dressed in exercise gear.

Father or “Baby-Daddy” is never sighted.

These people live their entire lives,and raise their pasty-faced,unhealthy,perpetually welfare-dependent brood on the taxpayers’ pound. They should be fucking grateful that they live in a country where they can choose to neither work nor want. They should be grateful that they live in a country that taxes it’s citizens to enable a feral underclass to enjoy free healthcare,free housing,free education…free fucking money, even.

The trouble is that they aren’t grateful,they are the worst group for whining that “It’s not fair, we’re entitled……..”, Entitled,apparently,to sit on their fat,lazy arses and expect other people to keep them and their appalling tribe of brats. I just wish that I was “entitled” to say “Fuck Off. I detest your greedy.irresponsible,whining dependency and refuse to contribute to a lifestyle which disgusts me.”

Fuck them.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

Americanisms [3]

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I have been saving up this nomination for months now whilst trying to write notes for it on whatever happened to be close to hand. I now have what I believe to be the best list which has ever been compiled by a human being with a grasp of the English language better than that of a four year old.

I am of course talking about the absolute abortions of spelling and grammar known as Americanisms.

So to start with:

– It’s not percentile, it’s percentage

– It’s not burglarize, it’s burgle

What’s the deal with putting a completely unnecessary Y at the end of words?

– It’s not normalcy, it’s normality

– It’s not equivalency, it’s equivalence

– It’s not relevency, it’s relevence

Also:

– It’s not worrysome, it’s worrying

– It’s not most everybody……….. on a spectrum from nobody to everybody, most everybody makes no grammatical or logical sense as those to words are mutually exclusive. It’s ALMOST EVERYBODY!!!!!!! As in NEARLY everybody.

– What the fuck does “the least worst option” even mean? Once again you have a spectrum of best to worst or least to most, you shouldn’t be hybridising (not an Americanism) spectra like that you cunts. In a given set of things, you can only have one thing that is the worst, then the second worst, then the third worst etc. To use a double negative like that is to say that it is the BEST option! The correct usage should be the least BAD option denoting that of all the bad options, that is the least bad. Cunts.

– It’s not “I could care less”, it’s I couldn’t care less. Meaning that on a caring scale of 0-10, you are at zero and it’s not possible to care any less than you already do…….. which is not at all!

– It’s not “somewhat of a rainy day”, it’s “something of a rainy day” or “a somewhat rainy day”. Somewhat is not a synonym for something, it’s a synonym for rather you cunts!

– This one really grips my shit “It’s not that big of a deal”. Aaarrgghh!!! The word big is being used like the word much and the word OF should not even be included. It’s should be either “It’s not that big a deal” or “It’s not that MUCH of a big deal”. Simple you simpering simpleton cunts.

– Factoid? What the fuck is a factoid? The suffix oid comes from the ancient greek meaning “like” – as in humanoid means human-like, cuboid mean cube-like. The factual nature of a claim is a binary concept, it either IS a fact or it ISN’T. There is only one thing which is fact-like and it’s so much like a fact we came up with a word for it and that word is FACT! We also came up with a word for illiterate Septics and that word is CUNT!

– I hate portmanteaus at the best of times (think BREXIT or BRINO) but even Septics manage to make a dog’s dinner out of portmanteaus purely because they can. Can somebody please tell what sense it makes to take two words – grip and traction (which both mean the same thing), then splice them together to create an entirely new word called gription which means………… the exact same thing as the two words that have just been dissected?

– Oh and I found the missing I from aluminum……. it seems to have turned up in the word erudite (Septics insist on pronouncing it e-ree-oo-dite).

Even WordPress agrees with me for the most part as a lot of the Americanisms I have listed here have red lines under them indicating that they are complete bollocks.

So in conclusion, Americanisms and those who use them – you are cunts.

Nominated by Two In The Stink

Ever see one of those wanky American talking head shows for the Feministas, such as that abomination ‘The View’? A typical episode from one of these excrescences will at some point feature a self satisfied, gobby guest spouting some virtual signalling, aspirational bollocks. Inevitably, Loopi Goldberg, Oompah Winfrey or whoever will then yell out ‘yeah, you go gurrrrll!’, at which point the audience will promptly start yelling and clapping on cue like maniacs.

Fucking hell, I wish the Yanks would stick this smarmy expression up their fat arses. While they’re at it, they can stick the likes of ‘right on, man’, ‘ahhsome,dude!’, ‘get my shit together’, ‘check it out’ and ‘way to go!’ right up the shitter as well. Cunts.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Posted in USA