I never thought I’d find myself defending that lisping prick, Jamie Oliver, but my nomination means it’s unavoidable. Snowflakes.

Jamie Oliver has just brought out a new product for the consumption of his fans. He’s called ‘Jerk Rice’ (appropriate for him really), and fuck me if it hasn’t caused much anger and offence among snowflakes and other assorted brain dead assholes. “CULTURAL APPROPRIATION”, they’ve been screaming to those who can be bothered to listen to their hysterical bollocks.

Brent Central MP, Dawn Butler has been leading the over emotional shit flinging against Oliver, along with such culinary greats as Levi Roots and Rusty Lee. “It’s an insult to Caribbean people” claims Rusty. Levi says that it lacks vital ingredients to be able to accurately name it jerk chicken, and believes it was a mistake.

Here’s my problem. We’re supposed to live in a multicultural society (which none ever agreed to or asked for. It was forced upon us by Blair and his minions). To me, multiculturalism is all about sharing in, and learning from, the many cultures of the endless stream of foreigners who are invading our shores. That can’t happen if dicks like Butler, Lee, Roots and the army of offense taking non-white sections are constantly whingeing whenever someone from outside their culture dares to adopt a part of that culture. Which means the claim we live in a multicultural society is a lie.

So, if I choose to eat jerk chicken, or any Caribbean/African dish, does that make me guilty of cultural appropriation or even racism? According to Butler, Lee, Roots and their followers, it does. To those from a minority who have a brain that actually works properly, such as the soon to be Mrs QDM and her family and friends, it does not. I’ve been to African weddings where I was asked to dress in traditional African clothing, and not one person was offended by me doing so. Some of the other guests, including the families of the bride and groom were pleased that I had dressed in such a way.

As usual, it’s one rule for them and one rule for white people. There are literally millions of non-white people in the UK who wear western clothing and eat British food. A lot of them also play cricket, football and rugby, three sports invented white, British people. So, by the logic of the offensive takers, they too are guilty of cultural appropriation. And I would go further than that. By crying like three year old girls that a white man has had the audacity to ‘appropriate’ their culture, they are guilty of something far worse. Racism. Let’s face it, those who scream ‘cultural appropriation’ wouldn’t be quite so worked up if Delroy Adebayo started selling his own brand of Yorkshire puddings, or black pudding.

Not a single member of my missus’s family has taken offence at what Oliver has done. None of their relatives and friends have taken offence. And I would hazard a guess that most people of Afro Caribbean descent couldn’t give a fuck either. In fact, they’re probably having a good laugh over how shite Oliver’s jerk rice is.

I’m sick to the back teeth of jumped up twats taking offence at every little thing, and making an issue out something that most sensible people couldn’t give a flying hippo’s fuck about. They need to decide, quickly, whether or not we do live in a multicultural society. If we do, then it’s ok for people to dip into the cultures of others. In which case, they need to shut the fuck up. If we don’t, then they need to stop wearing western clothes, playing western sports and eating western food. If they don’t, they’re guilty of cultural appropriation.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Cultural Appropriation
Of all the nonsense churned out by generation right-on this has got to be the most fuckwitted.

So, what is it?
Othello unless played by a bona fide ‘Moor’ Yep
The singing voices and styles of say, Eric Burdon, Amy Winehouse? Yep
The Bluesbreakers from all those years ago? Yep
Thai Chilli potato crisps? Yep
Whatever shite that cunt Oliver calls ‘Jerk’ Apparently so
Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal? He isn’t American so yep
Any cunt wearing a sombrero who isn’t a Mexican? Definitely
Africans in suits? Ghandi in a suit when he was a lawyer? Has to be.
A white man grooming under age girls? Obviously
Fusion cuisine? Don’t even think about it.
The roman alphabet applied to unwritten African languages ie all of them. Yep.
The Mikado written by a couple of whiteys. Yep
Madame Butterfly. Certainly, how dare the cunts.
The whole of modern technology, engineering, education applied to Africa. Cant deny it.

I haven’t even got to me blacked up singing pollywallydoodle all de way.

You see where I am going with this. Nothing shows how fucking mule brained stupid these cunts are more than ‘Cultural Appropriation’

Here endeth the cunting

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Poor old Jamie Oliver launches a new packaged rice product, and calls it ‘Jamaican Rice’. No big deal, you’d think. But for his sins, he gets lectured at and harangued by crackpot MP Dawn Butler, who asks ‘do you know what Jamaican Jerk actually is?’. Apparently, Jamie’s committed the unpardonable crime of ‘cultural appropriation, which according to unhinged snowflake Butler ‘has got to stop’.

Honestly, are the taxes I pay actually going towards this looney’s wages and expenses? Has she really not got anything better to do than waste time on this deranged pc crap? This is still (notionally) a free country, and Oliver’s free to call his product ‘Jerk Rice’ if he wants to, with being harassed by some self righteous arsehole who just can’t wait to take offence, even when there’s no offence actually offered or intended.

For the record you tosspot, I don’t know what ‘Jamaican Jerk’ looks like either, but do I know what an actual fucking JERK looks like, and you fit the bill to perfection. You’re nuttier than my Gran’s fruit cake. Why don’t you get a fucking life, and stop acting like a kid having a tantrum? What a wankspanner.

Nominated by Ron Knee