I do believe Chelsea Tractors, specifically in the guise of pick-up trucks, are well overdue a platinum-Grade cunting.
Primary specimens “VW Amarok” and “Toyota Hilux”.
Invariably these oversized road menaces are pristine clean, never having been within a hundred miles of a builder’s merchants for which they were primarily intended. Indeed the 30 year old, backwards-wearing baseball cap cunt near me and his kids (Benedict and Maisie of course) take great pride in polishing theirs to within an inch of its life every fucking weekend whilst chewing up the pavement / grass verges in their “fuck you” approach to parking it.
Needless to say these selfish cunts and their ilk come barrelling down narrow country lanes, expecting every other fucker to reverse to let them pass, use 1.5 supermarket car park spaces thus requiring a can opener to get in/out of your own vehicle should you have the misfortune to get them park next to you. Then there’s the fucking superior “down their noses from altitude look” when waiting next to you at the red lights or selfish loud banging of doors when returning home at 2am.
Of course as with so much this is down to that fucking third rate Canadian parvenu and his 0.25% interest rates making these things so affordable when they shouldn’t be.
Quite often too Tractors are the preferred mode of transport for Eastern European drug dealers ( blacked out windows; crap but loud rap music etc etc) with no discernible means of earning an honest crust. This itself should of course trigger some sort of enquiry from Plod as to how the cunts manage to afford the lifestyle but it’ll be a combo of illegality and defrauding the poor old taxpayer and they’d rather stitch me up for doing 35mph instead of 30mph instead.
The use of these Tonka Toy Pickup Trucks , SUVs , 4×4’s to drop off precious darlings to school, blocking narrow roads in sheer ignorance of other drivers or pedestrians and invariably piloted by yummy mummies scarcely able to touch the pedals beggars belief.
I never ever allow the following out of a junction
1. All the above types of vehicle
2. Sportscars
3. Foreign Plated cars
4. Anyone who’s ever been cunted on ISAC (sadly that means Parking Stanleys etc – you know who I mean and it’s a comprehensive list!)
So…..here’s a plague on these oversized cunts and the cunts who drive them!!
Nominated by Isaac Hunt
An overdue cunting for cunts who drive their chavmobiles with those huge fat loud exhaust pipes. It might make you think that you are king of the road, but you are just a cunt, and your poxy little chavved up Corsa won’t even have the power to pull the skin off a rice pudding. So, here’s wishing that you quickly end up wrapped around the nearest lampost. Oh yeah, and before you have your fatal collision, turn off your poxy fog lamps too.
Nominated by Mystic Maven
