Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Selfless Santa letters

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I nominate- ‘selfless’ santa letters posted to Facebook by cunty parents

‘Santa, please give all my toys to someone less fortunate’. Fuck off you absolute cunt fuckers. What you are basically saying is your little darling is fucking perfect because you are a perfect fucking parent, when in fact you are an attention seeking cunt of the highest order, forcing your unfortunate off spring to write this shit in order to invite such sycophantic horseshit as, “you must be so proud of him hun’, and, “that brought a tear to my eye Hun”.

Well ‘hun’ I’d like to see the little bastards reaction when they get fuck all Christmas morning because their parents are Christmas Cunts.

Nominated by: Hobo

“Bang on trend”

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I would like to nominate the phrase “bang on trend” sometimes used in conjunction with “that will make it pop”. Fucking pop you in the cunting face you poncy designercunt, wanker. (That’s the only time “pop” should be used).

Yes, as used by upcuntcyclers on tv shows. I am probably a cunt for watching such shite in the first place, but as an excuse…….you know when somebody says on a film “whatever you do don’t look” because there is a nasty murder or some such……I have to look to understand the true horror of BBC cuntertainment.

My wife actually pissed herself for a full ten minutes after seeing the state of one the things they did a cuntover on.

Cunts.

Nominated by: Stateofthecunt

Dead Pool [46]

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Congratulations to Shaun of the Dead 69 who correctly predicted the expiry of the ultimate cougar, Zsa Zsa Gabor, who has expired peacefully at the ripe old age of 99. A sexy lady all her life and a shame she didn’t make the magic ton.

So we wipe the slate clean and move on to Dead Pool 46…

A reminder of the rules (especially the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices.
List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored. Please wait for the reset when a pool is won and we move on. That way, we all know where we are!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the
So we wipe the slate clean and move on to Dead Pool 43…

3. It helps admin if you nominate one name per line, no numbers in front or comments afterwards. Comment what you like after your five names! A request – not a hard and fast rule – but it speeds up the list making if we can do a straight cut and paste to a spreadsheet.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it so Dioclese is sticking with his five for this time round : Javier Perez de Cuellar, Kirk Douglas, Peter Lord Carrington, Bob Dole, Paul Gascoigne. Gotta get lucky soon!

So nominations are now open. Off you go and good luck

Toyota Prius

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So it turns out that buying a Prius isn’t as ‘green’ as the thick cunts who buy them thought they were.

Have you also noticed how some cunts put bollocks like this in their email signature: “Think about the environment before printing this email”. Jezus christ on a bike! The vast majority of paper is made from trees grown on tree farms specifically for the purpose of…..wait for it……making paper. So, if we all used less paper, the demand would drop which would lead to fewer trees being planted on these tree farms. Last time I checked trees absorb CO2 and produce O2. Wouldn’t that be a good thing? So wouldn’t we want more trees rather than fewer trees.

Bring back triffids I say. And set them on Prius drivers and muslims. It’s the right thing to do.

Nominated by: Imitation Yank

Madonna [4]

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The queen of celebrity whoring has just boiled my piss.

“Madonna says she has been a victim of abuse, bullying, and sexism in her career.”

Well know narcissist nasty cunt Madonna who is such a fucking diva even the cuntmaster general known as Elton “don’t call me Reg” John called her a cunt in an interview. Is now claiming she has been a victim of bullying, sexism and all the other victim cards she can lay her hands on.

The only thing bullying you Maddie is age. You’re so far past it you can’t even see the starting line anymore. Makes it difficult to sell your overrated shite music on the back of sexuality does it? You have had a very successful media aided career but the spot lights moved on and no one who matters gives a shit anymore.

Instead of playing the victim go away and ask yourself why you can’t keep a husband and your son doesn’t want to be around you.

Madonna, fuck off to obscurity and good riddance.

Nominated by: Sixdog Vomit