I nominated school reunions a few years ago when a friend was invited to one and through a mate I hear that my old year group is planning one for the summer after being delayed by Covid.

It sounds fucking awful and I have no intention of going. I left the area more than twenty years ago and have no desire to see any of my peers again. Have the geeks really inherited the Earth and did the student radicals ever leave university? Are the sporty cool kids now fat and balding trapped in a mind- numbing career at the cracker factory fast approaching middle age? What happened to the good looking girls? Have their looks gone south, their perky tits and tight arses a distant memory and does anyone remember the name of that kid who shit his pants in PE?

All part of life’s rich tapestry I suppose but it doesn’t matter. Jobs, kids, divorces, weddings, coming out of the closet, John transitioning into Jan…I don’t care. I’m a bit of a lone wolf by nature with my own interests and a few close friends, we have all grown up and changed for the better or worse with the world a different place.

The consensus of the IsAC fraternity from the original nomination was a resounding “NO”. Wise advice from my fellow cunters.

The past is the past.

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.

I freely admit to being an ardent admirer of the female form. A beautiful woman is truly a sight to behold. Step forward the likes of Salma Hayak, Charlize Theron and Penélope Cruz, gifts bestowed by a munificent creator to a grateful universe.

It is however also true to state that there can be too much of a good thing. Step forward the unnamed individual whom I’ll refer to as Ms Plus-size, who has revealed herself to the world in all her glory, courtesy of ‘The Sun’.

Ms Plus-size tells us that she loves to show of her ‘curves’ (well that’s one way of putting it) in a tiny bikini, and that it ‘should be illegal to show how cute she looks’.
Personally I’d argue that she should have said ‘it should be illegal’, and finished the sentence there.

So what do others cunters think? Let the IsAC horn section pronounce judgment.

The Sun

Nominated by Ron Knee. Be warned cunters; do not click the link if you have just eaten C.A.

Is still a cunt.

The slippery fat bastard has apparently done his last show in the USA. Which means – unfortunately for us – the cunt will be coming back here to annoy the shit out of us.

As expected, his American ‘farewell’ was puke inducing stuff. With talentless pop phag Harry Styles paying a cringewothy arselicking tribute and lucky break chav Adele squawking in one key as usual in that dreadful Carpool shite. Also as expected, Corden did his ‘sincere Cilla’ act. With a ‘I love you all’ message and -you guessed it – turning on the waterworks. Well, we know how much he ‘loves’ people like restaurant and airport staff, don’t we? I have heard tales of how he treated his Late show crew like shit and didn’t even know their names, the fat twat is as fake as Bruce Jenner’s snatch.

I for one am dreading this odious, unfunny and obnoxious fat fuck’s return to British TV. Alongside Schofield and Lineker, he is easily the biggest cunt on television.

Bbc news

Nominated by Norman

A second helping of this tub of Lard from Ron Knee

There’s good news and bad news on the James Corden front.

The good news is that while filming the last ever ‘Crosswalk…the Musical’ section for his final ‘Late Late Show’ in the US, the fat cunt ran into the road shouting ‘don’t honk at me, I’m a star!’ and was promptly run over. The bad news is that the crash was a stunt, part of the ‘show’ where Corden and friends sing songs from musicals on ‘crosswalks’ in LA, no doubt much to the annoyance of drivers.

Well our esteemed son is soon to return to his native shores, ‘to try new things’ and be nearer to family; this being code for ‘The Late Late Show’ was losing $20m a year and got the axe.

He’ll soon be back here then, bringing his fake bonhomie and utter lack of charm to a screen near you. Ricky Gervais really had Corden’s number at ‘The Golden Globes’, when he quipped ‘the world got to see James Corden as a fat pussy. He was also in the film “Cats”, which nobody saw’.

I know what you’re thinking; if only that car had run the fucker over for real. Tell you what, let’s do our own version of ‘Crosswalk…the Musical’. Altogether now, from the musical ‘Man of La Mancha’; ‘to dream the impossible dream

com tv

I nominate that eco warrior cunt Dale Vince.
This is the cunt that has funded the likes of extinction rebellion, just stop oil, and provably more I can’t think of.

He fully supports the disruption that his like minded cunts cause us general Joe public, blocking roads and the day to day person, fully supported by the useless fuckin plod that is rolled out onto the street to supposedly police this unwashed bunch of cunts.

Old Dale bleats on about the end of humanity unless we adhere to his piss pot theories that have no factual argument to substantiate them. What the cunt always fails to mention is that his company is subsidised by us the tax payer with so called green subsidies artificially reducing the so called green energy price and making him tens of millions into the bargain.

He is one smug cunt taking the useless politians for a ride and arse fucking the taxpayer. He is the owner of Forest Green Rovers FC who’ve just been relegated. I wonder how he would like it if a movement called “fuck green, keep oil” went and dug his teams pitch up with a JCB!! and caused him and one of his businesses some disruption.

wiki

Nominated by DLP.

is a fucking gargantuan cunt.

I haven’t much to add to this nom except that I am just basically, almost reaching out, like some sad needy cunt, to any fellow cunters who have ever suffered from this bastard of an affliction.

Up until recently – I have never struggled to kip. Not even during the most turbulent periods of my life. Until now that is. And there’s fuck all stressful going on either.

My job and my family life can be as stressful as the next persons but it’s not like that’s anything new.

I suffered my first 3 day bout of total sleeplessness approximately a year ago and it has reoccurred on several occasions since.

I am currently in the middle of another sleepless period where I feel tired but at the same time feel like I could climb the walls or run a fucking marathon.

Went to see the GP recently and they prescribed some pretty heavy sedative/anti depressants which I very reluctantly tried, just to get some decent shut eye but the things made me feel like a zombie for the whole of the next day and then some.
Allied to that is the fact that as we’re only a small business – I can’t justify crying off sick for long periods over something as simple as a decent night’s kip and need to be on my A game.

Been doing a bit of running and other exercises to hopefully burn up some nervous energy.

I’m hoping this is just a phase and something that will pass.

First world problem I know and no doubt all in the mind – but Christ on a BMX – please just let me sleep.

Any suggestions are welcome.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Herman Jelmet.