Gary Lineker (25)

 
Just when you think this loathsome piece of pig excrement couldn’t stoop any lower – he decides to tweet about a shite programme called Africa Rising presented by race baiting whore Afua Hirsch yesterday afternoon.

What’s so unusual about the timing of this?

Considering only hours earlier a vulnerable African without a voice but armed with a knife had been on a murdering spree in Nottingham and there wasn’t a single word of condolence or sympathy for the victims from this virtue signalling jug eared slimeball.

Instead we get promotion of all things African.

I hope I live to see the day that this cunt has a date with karma.

twatter

Nominated by Herman Jelmet.

Paul McCartney (11)

 
and the Beatles are cunts.

Well, to be fair, it’s nothing to do with the two dead ones, But Macca is milking the Fab Four cash cow yet again. He claims that with the help of the dreaded AI, there will be a ‘final’ Beatles song.

Funny, where have we heard that before? The 1995 cash-in ‘Free As A Bird’ was trumpeted as the ‘last Beatles record’.

Then there was another one. ‘Real Love’. The last absolutely the last Beatles record ever.

And now, there is another bloody one.Needless to say, it will be nowhere near their best work. They disbanded in 1970 for fuck’s sake and two of them are long dead. How much more can the cunts squeeze out of it? The way they got into bed with Disney recently was bad enough. But this is plunging the depths. Talk about a dead horse well and truly flogged.

Bbc news

Nominated by Norman.

Heatwave! I used to call it Summer

 

Now do fuck off.
Are we having thunderstorms, with flooding, etc.

Or is the sun going to carry on shining, with no rain and hosepipe bans already in place?

Make your bloody mind up, I wanted to wash the duvet cover this weekend!

Fucking fence-sitting ditherers!

More on the delights of summer from Jeezum below.

Summer days but, ah!, those Summer nights!

It really nice, when the weather is kind and you can go sit outside with your e-reader, dog and a glass of something chilled.
Equally, when you can open windows to get a through draft.
What’s not so nice, however, is the donner cyclists doing wheelies at +90mph on their illegal dirt bikes ( oh, how I pray for one to encounter a HGV, as he drives up the wrong side of the road, whilst turning his head to grin at his mates).
Also, why do the people who live in the house that backs on to mine, think there’s a fucking forcefield round their boundary fence that prevents me, and a good few others, hearing their shite music and inane, drunken conversation?
Woman: laughs like a donkey braying, “oh, Barry, I never knew you were so funny”
Barry: ” It’s the way I tell ’em!”

Original, Barry. Never heard that one before. BTW, you’re not funny, you’re both just pissed as farts at 3pm on Saturday afternoon.
Tomorrow, around 5am, I’ll be walking my dog & playing Tina Turner at full volume, outside yours.
You cunts.

Independent

sheffield.gov

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

Rug Doctor

 
A few days ago, the wife attended a gynocology clinic for a consultation regarding an undercarriage problem. Mercifully it turns out that it was a minor matter which could be dealt with routinely, and thankfully she’s not up on blocks.

Yesterday we were in Asda, and I noticed that they were advertising the services of ‘Rug Doctor’ for hire. In an attempt at levity, I expressed surprise that such a service was available in a supermarket, but went on that for a nominal fee, the wife could have saved herself months of waiting time on the NHS.

Cunters would be well advised to note that any attempt at humour with regard to this subject will most certainly not be received by the other half in the spirit that it was intended.

Nominated by Ron Knee.

Rubberneckers


Coming home from work this afternoon round the M25 ” yes it’s a cunt of a road normally”

Traffic really slow, its then I notice minimal traffic on the opposite carriageway. FUCKING RUBBERNECKERS.

25 minutes crawling along so braindead turds can gawp at damaged vehicles.

I don’t know what people are hoping to see. 9 times out of 10 it’s just a procession of pricks rear-ending each other.
A bit like after this morning ends. (I see what you did there. Well played – NA)

So to all rubberneckers if you want to witness a accident, look in the mirror you gormless cunt.

https://youtu.be/sS3BVVK9V-A

Nominated by : Barry zuckercunt