I invite you all to participate in a little competition. Complete the undernoted sentence in no more than two words (three if you’re tempted to include the word ‘fucking’);

Emma Thompson is…. **

Yes, everybody’s favourite champers socialist and eco-warrior is back, making herself look like a right arsehole again.

Remember when she fled our ‘tiny, cake-filled, misery-laden island’ for a pad in Venice because of the Brexit vote, only to fly back pronto to her reclusive bolt-hole in the Highlands when Covid struck? Remember when she flew from LA to London (first class, no doubt) to pontificate at a climate change demo in London?

Yes well, she’s now been spotted swanning around on a superyacht in the Med; one of those luxury barges with a carbon footprint bigger than a Saturn rocket.

‘Hypocritical luvvy, moi?’.

It’s okay though. I think we can all agree that sacrifices on the way to net zero are strictly for the likes of us little people to make, and not for Very Important People like Dame Emma to consider.

She’s a national treasure, after all.

Tik Tok Bollocks.

NY Times Link.

** Competition answer:
‘Emma Thompson is a (fucking) cunt’.

Nominated by : Ron Knee

The bullshittery of Google reviews and cunts that fake them to try and up sell their businesses.

Google reviews seem to be how to drum up a bit of business, now there used to be a so called Merc, Maserati, Ferrari /everything specialist in Barry(now gone) shall we say they weren’t very good, anyway they had loads of 5 star reviews, which amazed me, until you checked the names of the poster and they were all from the likes of fresh Pesh from Bangladesh, Ho Lee Fook, Sum Ting Wong and not a single Brit bearing in mind the company is in the UK.

How can this be I hear you ask, it’s simple, shit companies who can’t get reviews unless the are the usual – Cunts 1 star, I won’t be back, or if I could give these cunts zero stars I would, absolute bunch of cunts, no matter how many different company names they have.

https://www.seorose.com/buy-google-reviews/

Anyway there are companies out there who will sell substandard companies fake reviews for a cost, see above link.

So in effect it makes Google/reviews full stop worth fuck all, because you can’t tell which are genuine or fake and what’s more if your the kind of cunt who will buy fake reviews, you are also the kind of cunt who will leave fake reviews for your competitors.

So all in all, the reviews system is a cunt, they can’t be trusted, we did have a genuine review once that wasn’t good, it was a goat fucker type, booked in, cancelled and then left a shitty review, needless to say I wasn’t feeling the love for this camel jocky.

But it is a problem that reviews make up such an integral part of modern business and yet are easily faked by cunts who sell fake reviews as a legitimate transaction…

Nominated by : Fuglyucker

Why do i have to keep dealing with bloody cookies when i click on often visited webpages? I was here yesterday, i rejected cookies. Can’t you fucking remember?

Captchas are an even bigger nuisance.
Some websites ask you to put the phrase or words displayed on screen into a box or answer a simple question. Google likes you to tick all the boxes
with fire hydrants or bicycles etc.
Fairly straight forward. (If you can read the damn text. You’re a bit fucked if you’ve never seen a fire hydrant)

However, there is one site i use a lot that takes this ridiculous inconveniance to a whole new level.
It asks me to click on the centre of the correct picture or click on the racoon.
Sometimes it asks me to draw a box around an object.

The problem is that the instructions for what to do are at the top of the captcha screen, which is always cut off due to the way the captcha is displayed, meanining i constantly have to be scrolling up to find out what the fuck silly thing they want me to do is.
Unfortunately, when i scroll up, the captcha screen scrolls up too, meaning i have to go all the way to the top of the bastard screen to look at the instructions. Sometimes that doesn’t work and i have to scroll up and down to get it in just the right place to view said instructions.

Here’s a tip you IT fuckwits, why not get the captcha to display properly in the first cunting place so i don’t have to scroll like a maniac, or maybe use a more compact captcha.
Check that your insufferable invention works properly before inflicting it on people.

C u n t s

https://www.boredpanda.com/captcha-struggles-fails/?utm_source=duckduckgo&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=organic

Nominated by : Polite Cunt

One of the great joys in life is pulling up IsaC every morning and reading the day’s nominations. As one illustrious cunter recently opined:

“One of the great things about ISAC (sic) is it never fails in highlighting yet another complete and utter fuckwit worse than the last one when you thought surely this is as low as it can go’.”*

And to be sure the eloquence of the cunters and quality of their prose is unmatched on the internet.

To that end, this august body has rules and standards. Too few lines…less than 5 = the bin. Too many lines…more than 50 also = the bin. And as we all know some words are not allowed.

But what happens when a nominee shows a degree of fuckwittery so extreme that mere words alone cannot capture the magnitude of cuntishness?

Meet Konstantine Anthony, Mayor of Burbank California (a Los Angeles suburb), who was publicly spanked by a drag queen…(allegedly in front of children)…ON CAMERA!…and then posted to the world wide web for all to see, at a “Drag Queen Bingo” fundraiser.

Fox News Link.

Words fail me.

Oh…do I have to tell you he’s a Democrat?

*Cunty McCuntface, IsaC, “Maria Hadden”, Sept 8, 2023, 4:04PM.

Nominated by : General Cuntster

I remember a time when James Bond, the world’s greatest superspy, would despatch the Queen’s enemies accompanied by a witty one-liner. He raced about in fast cars, drank his martinis shaken not stirred, and shagged gorgeous crumpet with names like Luscious O’Plenty and Clitty Throbbing. Every woman wanted him, every man wanted to be him.

Sadly, all that’s changing, thanks to the efforts of former ‘Fast Show’ star turned author Charlie Higson, who’s given 007 a proper ‘woke’ makeover. Yes, it seems that Jamie B now espouses all those fashionable causes so beloved of the champagne drinking Islington socialist luvvy set.

In his new novel ‘On His Majesty’s Secret Service’, Higson has our hero sent to Viktor Orban’s Hungary, to dismantle a (wait for it) vast right-wing conspiracy to attack King Charles. I give you a sense of how things are with an illustration. Having infiltrated a gathering of the blackhats, Bond spots a baddie ‘famous for promoting COVID/vaccine/mask-wearing/5G conspiracy theories, spilling over into the usual anti-immigrant, anti-EU, anti-BBC, anti-MSM, anti-cultural Marxist, climate change denial pronouncements’. The former Tory MP’s ‘anti-trans diatribe’ had then resulted in him being kicked out of the party. Well I don’t know about you lot, but he sounds like a top man to me.

The novel then has Bond lamenting the fact that Athelstan, the far-right supervillain, doesn’t embrace diversity by including ‘women, non-white or disabled’ people in his plot to attack the new king. I’d like to think that Higson was being ironic, but somehow I doubt it.

What next for Bond then? Will the martini be replaced by a soy latté? Will he abandon the Aston Martin for a bike? Instead of blowing his enemies to kingdom come, will he try to rehabilitate them by pointing to the healing qualities of mindfulness and a vegan diet?

It’s gone beyond parody. Higson, you’re an absolute cunt, and I hope that ‘OHMSS’ goes straight into charity shop 10p a pop baskets.

Will the real James Bond please stand up?

NY Post Link.

Nominated by : Ron Knee