AND his face and voice was the reason my Alsatian turned gay, I’m certain…
Nominated by: Lord of the Cunts
And golf clubs! What a bastion of all-round cuntitude these are! Just look at the ridiculously complex rules dreamt up by idiots over the last dregs in the claret drug whilst sat on antique furniture, while the club’s denizens moan about how the country’s gone to the dogs since the “poorer sort” got the vote. And the most cunty thing about golf clubs is the sheer waste of land they represent; in the midst of a housing crisis only the most out-of-touch Tory cunt (or “Tory”) could think having acres upon acres of land reserved for a few dozen in-bred toffs or wannabe tycoons in their beemers to hit a little white ball around a field with a stick is a good idea, while the country is crying out for more housing. Golf clubs represent little more than a waste of land, land that could be better served as public open spaces, children’s playing fields, new factories and industrial estates, new housing, anything but for a load of cunts to knock a little white ball around with a stick.
And golf the “sport” – what a stupid idea! Only the Scots could have invented such a brainless, dull, stupid, soul-destroying pastime as golf. How people can pay top dollar to watch a load of middle-aged yanks or oirishmen lose their little white ball in the long grass is beyond me. But at least the cunts who play golf are being kept busy; people who play golf are probably from the same gene pool as bankers and politicians, and while they’re playing their stupid little “sport” they aren’t fucking up the world for the rest of us…
I take it all back – we need more golf clubs now!
(That last sentence was sarcasm, you daft cunts.)
Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain
Self, seemed to think he was superior to Orwell. Though from what I’ve heard of Self over the years, I’m confident in claiming that Self isn’t even fit to lick dog shit from the soles of Orwell’s shoes. I haven’t actually read any of his written works, I just assume it’s a load of ultra left wing bollocks written by a self important, pseudo intellectual, former smack head. He has a face perfectly suited for sneering, and appears to look down on anyone who isn’t Will Self.
Come to think of it, he also has a face that you’d be happy to suffer a fractured hand after repeatedly punching.
Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw
Will ‘Death Him” Self is a total cunt. And the day Self is better than Orwell is the day I show my arse on top of the CIS Building…
Nominated by: Norman
So despite not being born here he feels free to dictate how my nation is governed, and yet despite having made his life (and money) in England he is one of the most rabid Anglophobes in the land. In short, “Thumper” Prescott is a typical Celtic hypocrite – keen enough to leach off England when it suits, yet has a deep sense of loathing to the nation that has enriched him.
So my message to Prescott – and all of you Welsh, Scots and Irish living in my country – is to fuck the hell out of England. And if you do wish to continue living here, you keep your damn mouths shut and your heads down, you fucking Celtic Anglophobe cunts.
Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain
In his heyday in the fifties and sixties this prize wanker sported a greasy looking barnet with that “slicked back with me own spunk” look. Clearly the total tosser always had a ready supply on hand. In all his career on stage and in innumerable crap filums the mugging cunt has never made me laugh once. Although in fairness I did manage a little chuckle over his last coronary.
Needless to say considered a comedic legend by the French (as was Norman Wisdom by the Albanians to mark yer card) and received an “Homage” at last years Canne Film Festival. Needless to say the little circumsized cunt continues to lap up the pretentious adulation of the frog fuckers (who incidentally regard tuneless fuck Johnny Halliday as a rock god) . “Mais oui. Ve are zo out zair. Cool n’est pas. Ve zo get ‘im. Jerry is zo zo funnee you anglo fuckairs.”
Famously the cunt despises his deminishing audiences and anyone dumb enough to give the talent free zone a living. Oh how ironic mes amis. Difficult to think orf another performer so hated within his own profession (although Topol is a leading contender) for being such an irredeemable shitehole (steady on might start to admire the cunt).
Reasons to be cheerful. Jerry is now 88 and fills in his down time collecting terminal illnesses including prostate cancer, meningitis, a dodgy ticker, diabetes and drug addictions various. Now me pet vulture Gristle does not usually eat kosher but is very interested in trying this one. So tough cheddar old sports, have already nabbed the cunt for the Dead Pool.
Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke