This cunt. This fucking cunt has been on my hate list since the early 2000s when he wound up on the bill at a stand-up night in Cardiff.

I’m not sure if my hatred for the cunt stemmed from his then aggressively Liberal Thatcher-hating schtick (most comedians left that routine behind in the 80s), or the now archetypal ‘street life according to a privately educated cunt’ blather, or just for plain, simple fact that he is a parallelogram-headed cunt.

Now, as one of many risible cunts on the BBC gravy train for publicly anti-Brexit ‘comedians’, this totally unfunny cuntlord has wormed his way back into the public consciousness; both for his EU preachings and, more heinously, for a truly bladder-liquifying piss-boiler of an advert for a credit agency or something, where said advert features not one but TWO fucking Brigstockes simultaneously on screen, literally trying to out-cunt each other for ‘laffs’.

I suppose the one and only possible benefit to having two Marcus Brisgstockes in this world is the satisfaction of knowing that when one has been hung from the highest lamp-post and burned alive with flamethrowers, you still have the joy and anticipation of getting to do it for a second time. Kind of like finishing one giant tin of Quality Street at Christmas and suddenly remembering there is another unopened one in the cupboard under the stairs.

A man with a head so angular and mathematically correct that Pythagoras himself would frantically wank his Ionic Column dry over the endless geometric theorem possibilites, I give you the hypotenuse of cuntitude, Marcus fucking Brigstocke.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back