Angie Bowie

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Which rotten piece of woodwork did this old hag crawl out of? Yet another freeloading slag who uses her ex-husband’s more famous name, because no one will recognise her own… This old witch has just been on Celebrity Big Brother and basically dining out on the fact that she was David Bowie’s wife 40 years ago… How pathetic is that?

And the myth (put about by this old gluebag) about the Rolling Stones song ‘Angie’ being about her is bullshit… Keith Richards mainly wrote the song, and he stated that it wasn’t about anyone and it was just a name he came up with…

Some rock stars can be cunts (Lennon, Jagger, Page, Crosby) etc… But those who live off their fame, like Courtney Love and Angie Bowie, are even bigger cunts…

Nominated by: Norman

The Brit Awards

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I’d like to nominate tonight’s Brit Awards for a cunting. Whilst I’m delighted that it won’t be hosted by James “Tubby McFatFuck” Corden or Davina “I’d literally kill a baby to stay on TV” McCall, I also don’t care as I won’t be watching it.

Featuring performances from Adele, Coldplay, Little Mix, Justin Bieber, James Bay and Rihanna – sooooo….. I wonder what the numerous commercial breaks will be advertising (apart from plenty of plugs for bloody sport relief – another celebrity love-in)?

It’s live of course, so we live in hope that at least one of the above will fall (or be dragged) off the stage, leave a tit on display or… hopefully… be taken out by a secret TV studio assassin (my dream job). But as I said, I don’t care as I won’t be watching it.

In between their predictably turgid, lip-synced performances, there will of course be the awards themselves – a thousand daggers sent to the stage with each smile of those who didn’t win as they clap dutifully. Meanwhile those who do win will gush through their acceptance speeches with all the genuine emotion of Hal 9000 whilst occassionally attempting some wit that would make David Brent look positively erudite. But as I said, I don’t care as I won’t be watching it.

Well it’s going to be an ego-fest alright – no doubt more than a few will try to make some kind of political statement, but given that our politicians struggle with this task, I don’t hold out much hope for anything sensible from a bunch of overpaid cabaret cunts.

Did I mention that I won’t be watching it?

Nominated by: Nickleby

The EU Referendum

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The EU referendum deserves a good cunting.

Much like the Scottish referendum, the result has already been decided, of course the public will vote to stay in the EU.

Democracy is a fucking load of shit, the illusion of choice but the decision is already decided.
There is no way in hell Britain will be ALLOWED to get out of the EU, it is all part of the step to world governance (EU under the guise of free trade, NAFTA (North American Free Trade Agreement etc)

If the EU referendum vote turns out to be NO I will insert a pineapple in my arse and film it for isacunt whilst Mrs Boaby shits on my face!

Nominated by: Boaby

Sir Jonathan Penn

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I’m surprised that Sir Jonathan Penn isn’t cunted yet. His real name is John Pennell but he also uses in his latest motor dealer scam the name of John Penn, what a cunt.

His latest venture/scam is SOURCINGROUP.co.uk but he’s been a director of over 200 companies.

If you google his titled name you will see photos of the cunt looking like a pirate in articles about the arson on his Jaguar on his driveway. What a cunt.

He’s served time for gbh, fraud and bestiality.

He’s ripped people off for hundreds of thousands of pounds

His latest websites are Mafiosa and champagne and caviar and Sourcing Group. What a cunt.

He was taken to court by Max Clifford for not paying his bill to the paedo pr man and turned up in court in a wig of memorable style. What a cunt

Nominated by: Steve McQueen