A bit short but we’ll allow it as some of you might have some gripping stories to tell – NA
Ok, off the fucking wall nomination here but I’m going to nominate Jury Service. Not as a juror but as the long fucking suffering other arf of a juror listening to them worrying about the legal aspects of said case and banging on and fucking on about it in depth.
As I reach the point of wanting our former hangman Albert to top em even if it’s something minor.
Oh I’ll add the missus did a murder trial for a few weeks. Bloke was a cunt as well.
CookdandBombd. (Link passed down by Unkle Terry)
Nominated by : Paul Goddard
I’d love to do it.
I’m perfect for jury duty!
open minded, non judgemental,
fair, socially compassionate..
GUILTY.
Missus Miserable got called,she didn’t like it,
obviously not got any sense of vengeance or retribution, they dropped a bollock,
should of called me.
17
I’d love to do it also;
1. Brown / Black / Raghead – Guilty
2. Eyes too close together – Guilty
3. Some left wing protestor type – Guilty (where’s the death penalty)
4. Anyone harming kids – Guilty
5. BBC Employee – Guildty
6. Member of the Labour Party – Guilty
7. Member of the Greens – Guilty
But you just know the other jurors will be wet leftie twats who want to give them the benefit of the doubt because they had a difficult childhood, etc.
11
Any cruelty to animals – guilty.
Any LGBTQ who push themselves onto kids – guilty.
Any feminazi cunts – guilty.
Any teachers who only teach black history – guilty.
Any celebrity cunts telling people what to do and how to vote – guilty.
6
My dad did it too
his words-
” he was clearly guilty the scruffy cunt,
but it was full of stupid fuckin women saying he might not be,
just me and this other bloke said he was guilty
I told em ,
just look at him!
are you fuckin mad?!!!”
😆
18
I’ve done it twice and I hear you. The other jurors were thick cunts who spent hours deliberating over irrelevant wank, like they were in a crime drama, when we had had clear direction from the Judge how to consider a legal guilty or not.
One of them was a ginger poove who had appeared on Come Dine With Me, I recognised him but no-one else did, the pretentious twat.
18
That Christina Pike in Tennessee given lethal injection,
snoring?!!
so they rushed her to hospital?
why?
pop a carrier bag over her head and suffocate her.
easy fix.
21
I don’t get this Mis. This is just the most recent case where someone has yet again survived a “lethal” injection. This is in the States where everyone is armed to the teeth. Why are they fucking about?
14
morning Arfur,
yeah, if the drugs can’t be mixed properly for the injection,
just inject them with a air bubble.
Let’s hope they sort it out and get back to making the world a better place!
12
The problem is Arfur that none of the drug companies want to be associated with having taken part in an execution. Therefore the drugs they are using are all well past their sell by/best before date and are becoming ineffective. No-one in the medical profession wants to be associated either so the drug cocktails are mixed by prison staff who, I suspect, (how can I put this?), might not have the intellectual capacity for the job.
We were dreading losing my collie dog when his time came as he was very difficult at the vets. I went to see them and they kindly gave me 5 small tablets, basically heroin, to put in his favourite food and he went peacefully at home. That seems to me to be the way to it. Alternatively firing squad would be effective and a very good live exercise in training troops to kill people, not an easy thing to do.
Good Morning
10
Fentanyl worked for George Floyd, or was it the knee on the neck?
6
No fucking-around when the method used is a ZPU-4 … 🙂
https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/north-korea-kim-jong-un-executes-security-officials-anti-aircraft-gun-intelligence/
3
Article there too timid to show us the gun, the pussies.
I’m not, though.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/37/Moroccan_ZPU-2_in_Land_Cruiser.jpg?utm_source=en.wikipedia.org&utm_campaign=index&utm_content=original
4
Does anyone else find it slightly incongruous that a vehicle with a huge fucking gun mounted upon it is fitted with head restraints in order to reduce the risk of neck injury? Reminds me of when I got a bollocking for driving on site at AWE without wearing my seat belt.
4
I’d have loved to’ve been the holdout juror in the Lindsay Clancy jury.
Telling those fat, middle-aged, self-important, child-murderer apologist bitches that they’re wrong and that Clancy was as guilty as sin would’ve been highly satisfying.
Well done to that holdout juror…a black catholic man, I believe.
23
They weren’t wrong.
They were psychopathic.
11 out of 12 people wanting to let a CALCULATED CHILD MURDERER off because ‘sympathy’ is a very scary statistic.
19
This is the problem with leftard wmminz and the reason you can’t have them on juries.
They make decisions based on feelings instead of using fact and logic.
15
Pakı defendant?
Guilty.
Black inner city youth?
Guilty.
Works for the BBC?
Guilty.
21
Drives an EV?
Guilty.
19
And straight out to the gibbet.
14
@thomas…. unfortunately in today’s justice system the one missing from your list is WHITE… guilty as fuck,no messing about down you go sunshine…the crime? look in the 🪞😩
12
Many years ago my brother was called up for jury service. He said that no matter what the evidence the person was guilty. I had to point out to him that he was going to serve on an inquest jury.
15
id sentence Ed Sheerhan to death if hosting Jukebox Jury
13
A year ago I’d have said fine, because of his crimes against the pop parade. But now he’s been cancelled by the ‘Free Palestine even though it’s stuffed to the gills with rapists and bombers from birth’ brigade, I have a little more sympathy for him.
I say a little, he can never be forgiven for the aural trauma of that line in his all-time worst Shape Of You, “Last night you were in my room, and now my bedsheets smell like you”. You love your bedsheets minging of tuna and jampot? Have a word with yourself.
11
Your too kind Wokey like me.
But justice must be served.
Eds got eyes that are trying to look round corners,
a common ailment in the criminal classes,
plus his fawning , pleading not to be dragged into a political debate turned my tripes.
Not only would I hang him id put him on display outside Manchester Apollo as a warning to other musicians.
14
That’s reminded me of Butthole Surfers’ “Who was in my room last night”.
8
Who the hell was in my bed!
Independent worm saloon is one awesome album.
4
Served on a coroners jury recently.
But you can’t portion blame on anyone..
But spoiler alert it was all the third world medical staffs fault.
Incompetent cunts..
16
I’ve not been called up for jury service. Yet.
Which is good, because I’ve absolutely no desire to spend two weeks or more arguing the toss with a bunch of hand wringing lefties who think everyone deserves a second, third, fourth or fifth chance.
And why are these juries so seemingly packed with simpering lefty types?
I wouldn’t put it past the modern state to be judging your eligibility based on the online data they harvest, and estimating from that your political leanings.
That’s probably why I’ve not had the call.
12
They were definitely ‘postcode profiling’ when I did it over ten years ago. We only had one ‘council estate’ type juror, and yes she was thick as fucking mince and obstructed the deliberations with ‘feelings’ over clearly spelled out legal interpretation of evidence, which was completely beyond her fag-breathed intellect..
13
I reckon it’s more in depth nowadays, WokeUp.
All they had in the past was your criminal record, or lack of, and your employment status.
They’ve got a veritable smorgasbord of information to play with now.
10
I too have never been invited to sit on a jury, due to my past membership of a political party with very robust views on immigration.
Turns out we were right 25 years ago.
11
We warned ’em, we fucking warned ’em…
6
You are exempt from jury service if you are
– On bail
– Have served a prison term in the last 10 years
– Have ever served a prison term of 5 years or more
– Are mentally incapable, or
– Are sectioned under the Mental Health Act
So that’s 5 reasons why I’ve never been called up.
17
Tatlock and his commissars are proposing some amendments to that list, Geordie.
You will be ineligible if…..
1. You’ve been resident in the UK for less than two weeks.
2. You aren’t gay, or have no intention of declaring yourself so.
3. Any evidence is discovered of political interest in the Reform party,
4. You were found to have voted to leave the EU.
5. You’ll all be ineligible soon anyway, as we’re scrapping jury trials lest any ethnics end up going inside, thus raising community tensions.
12
First time I was called Geordie, I wrote back and told them I wasn’t interested. I was excused. Second time I had to attend for possible selection. I stood alone in the corner shuffling about and muttering incoherently to myself. They sent me home. After next May I won’t be in the running any more due to my great age.
9
My email address alone should suffice to get me excepted, after I would ‘accidentally’ disclose my fear it might get me excepted to one of the other cunts who thinks they still have a societal duty, in this ridiculous day and age. ..
4
done it once many years ago nothing special was just a domestic violence case, a park key duffing up his live in girlfriend (white) so obviously I voted guilty and recommend she go down with him for being a stupid slag for obvious reasons 😩… can’t remember much about the others except one woman who wouldn’t let the fact go of ‘he looks genuinely sorry’ … I said well perhaps you’ll be able too assess how genuine he is because he’s been giving you the eye all week so you could put yourself in her place and see whether he gives you flowers 🌹 or a good slapping 🤜.. found guilty 👍
16
Fuck me.
Everyone’s had a go except me.
Like the National Lottery,
my names never drawn out the hat.
I should be one of the first asked.
business owner
home owner
over 6ft
respected in the community
large dog owner
who’s more suitable than me to judge if someone is guilty of a crime?
well, they are.
judge should have me on speed dial.
14
You are not alone Mis, I have not been called either. One thing is we both drive Transits. Go figure.
8
you think theyre Trans-phobic Cuntymort?
wouldn’t surprise me.
they hate white van man.
Emily Thornberry started it.
most lefties have limp wrists so struggle with a steering wheel in a transit.
10
Undoubtedly Mis, good Englishmen and true are we. If you or I were selected imagine the pearl clutching, panic attacks and fits of the vapours?
We would be full on R Lee Ermey on the lefties.
4
Ah, Transit driver eh? That explains it.
Seriously though, I’ve driven Transits from time to time over many years. I’ve always been impressed with how well they handled and each new iteration was better than the previous one. Once you’ve done a few miles and got the feel you can really fly them. Mind I’ve not yet driven an electric one…..
4
Under the recent Sir Lammy Henry proposals there is no need for a jury. Show trials are the name of the the game under marxist state rules. They will probably bring back the guillotine for whitey, while darquies get the full benefits of two tier ‘justice’. Fuck off.
Good morning, everyone.
11
Never been asked just as well as I’d tell the dithering cunts to get fucked.
I imagine it’s like being stuck on a long coach trip with a load of chatty liberal Democrats.
Guilty,therefore Oven.
The lot.
Good morning.
10
Irving be no good on jury service.
I’m deemed a “right wing Thuggie” these days..!
Black Labs Matter..🇬🇧
8
https://irvingtx.gov/jury-service
0
Another bastardized institution. You can have a scenario where some cunt is in the dock for a crime, but the jury can never be sure nowadays if a revelation is coming after rhe verdict … facts repressed – previous bad behaviours – in case they ‘influence the jury’.
Finally-dead cunt huntley was a particular disgraceful scenario. More than a dozen prior incidents on file of the dirty subhuman in ‘inappropriate’ situations with underage girls before he graduated to murdering them.. including one that he had gotten up the duff but when she lost the baby there was no follow up.
All that held back from a jury lext it be ‘prejudicial’. One such incident might be a wrongful accusation. Maybe two, somehow. But 15? No. No smoke without fire 15 times over. And had yhe jury believed the cunt and his lying cunt girlfriend & found him not guilty? christ!
More recently that cunt in america who killed the guy at the sports meet. His(the murderer) phone was full of murder fantasies such as ‘licking the blood off the blade’ after killing his g/f, but the prosecution, it turns out, agreed not to present those in evidence, and the defense in return held back incidences of the dead teen using racial slurs.
What’s the fucking point being on a jury at that stage?
12
if you get bored & want an early exit then just shout “Your Honour, do we have to sit here & listen to this?” From the Hitchcock film & true story, that also starred Henry Fonda ‘The Wrong Man.’
8
I received the summons in 2015, my wife said “no fucking chance” wrote them a letter explaining why I was not really suitable included a note from my GP. Removed from list of potential jurors, I’m too old now anyway. Would have been an interesting experience, for me anyway.
9
Made excuses not to do it, knowing full well the other eleven would be as guilty as the person on trial.
8
most judges are Ducky types.
sat there in their wig trying to look stern.
but probably wearing crotchless knickers
and has a string of anal beads hanging out his hoop.
They even have women judges and worse sooty judges!¡!
just be my luck to be in the dock and its some lezzy judges on the blob or some sooty craving bananas and in a bad mood.
Judges should be white,
male, married men.
Not some fuckin circus freak from London
15
I did jury service about 25 years ago. I had just moved up to the East Midlands from North London and worked on the periphery of the shoe industry. I think 10 of the jury either worked in the shoe trade or their partners did and one of the women had shagged the investigating officer. She got dismissed after she told the judge on the 3rd day in. I went back to the office on the first day was told that the victim was the sister-in -law of a friend of mine. The local paper had said the accused was facing 10 years so 2 women on the jury refused to convict until I said I had done 5 years at an English public school and So I could do 10 in prison standing on my cock and the accused was a lot tougher than me. Another strong minded lady told them to stop being so wet which also helped but it was touch and go. The thing that convinced everyone he was guilty was that he had been mis-using a disabled badge to park his car on yellow lines, something that was considered more heinous than armed robbery.
I think the jury system is as good as it gets. Their only duty is to decide whether the accused is guilty beyond all reasonable doubt. It is a big decision so it is split between 12 people thereby reducing the burden of making that decision.
8
As a mechanical and electrical engineer, I have to make life or death decisions every day.
I think that I can handle the unpleasantness to deciding the fate of the accused all alone.
Just give me all of the black and Muslim cases and I’ll have waded through them and be sitting in my local by lunchtime.
7
Why wasn’t this pavement cunt up for murder..!
https://www.gbnews.com/news/london-news-burglar-killed-pensioner-86?utm_content=Burnham+receives+major+EU+boost+to+rejoin+bloc+as+Germany+vows+to+help+reverse+Brexit&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Newsletter
No jury required..☠️
6
The charge should have been murder. I agree hang the cunt.
4
They’re not even fucking trying anymore.
This cunt *refused to leave his cell* for his sentencing.
Has the judge tacked on an extra bit of time for contempt in response?
Has he fuck.
7
Twelve Angry Men is a masterpiece. Magnificent film.
From a time now sadly gone.
4
I do hope that Crista Pike slag dies very soon.
Two lethal jabs that didn’t work?
Bollocks. Absolute bullhshit. Totally rigged.
I’d personally let that poor girl’s mother cover Pike in petrol and then set her alight.
4
My dad was requested to do this twice a few years back, on both occasions he knew the felon so wasnt allowed to sit, a murky past perhaps dad, he wouldn’t say.
3