Dead Pool [31]

5e0946a6bf2d64fba0f862449886cd4b

At fucking last! We have a winner for the longest running Dead Pool I can remember!

Congratulations to Shaun of the Dead 69 who bags his third Dead Pool title by bagging former OSCAR & BAFTA winning cinematographer Douglas Slocombe, known for his work on no less than three Indiana Jones films. Well done, Shaun. That’s another one towards the target of five held by Dioclese (had to get that one in!)

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 31. They’re still dropping like flies this time of year so there’s never been a better time to get your name on the slate!

Oh, and I already bagged Paul Daniels šŸ˜‰

Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices.
List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored. Please wait for the reset when a pool is won and we move on. That way, we all know where we are!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

3. It helps admin if you nominate one name per line, no numbers in front or comments afterwards. Comment what you like after your five names! A request – not a hard and fast rule – but it speeds up the list making if we can do a straight cut and paste to a spreadsheet.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Britain Stronger in Europe

stronger in europe

Project Fear has been rolled out again with the lies and spin being put out by arch cunt Stuart Rose over at ‘Britain Stronger in Europe’

And if that’s not enough, the cheeky cunts have the audacity to send out unsolicited emails explaining how important the decision will be and how it’s even more important that we donate Ā£10 (or more) to the fighting fund to keep the UK in the rotten cuntfest that is the Fourth Reich.

The bastards in the Reich get £1.91 a day off me already through my taxes and now BSE want me to give them money so they can carry on taking more money off me.

It’s a monumental piss take. I want my Ā£1.91 back!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Sir Ian Gilmore

image_update_img

I am aghast that ā€˜Professor’ Sir Ian Gilmore has yet to be cunted.

This first rate turd gurgler is all over the news this morning crowing about how Alcohol Health Alliance has lobbied the government and those other ā€˜arse for sale’, thieving, lazy BMA pricks into lowering the recommended alcohol consumption to 14 units per week for men and women.

Lets start off on the right footing, have these cunts ever provided any real, factual hard evidence of how the ā€˜unit’ level of alcohol was defined and measure? I mean, it should be very similar to calculating the molar mass and therefore strength of acids, alkalis and other gases/elements right?

WRONG. These Doctor cunts sat around a table and made this shit up. They pulled these values from there collective arses as an attempt at curbing the free will of the people to do whatever the fuck they please. The principle problem is the NHS, moaning that alcohol related illness costs it too much money. If we did away with the NHS and made people take responsibility for their own actions and ultimately the cost of doing so then these illiberal cock smokers would be voting the other way, more booze to bring in more punters…

The ā€˜pants on fire’ accusation won’t stand up in court, but then again the equally childish and pathetic ā€˜because we said so’ defence is not viable either.

And all because of a 1% risk in increase of Alcohol related cancers. You scare mongering, enemy of freedom, communist cunt.

Nominated by: The Captain

The Voice

the-voice_2528339b

Any talent show is rooted in cuntitude and many may think that not having Simon Cuntowel would give it more credibility but lets examine the facts. It took them 3 fucking years to realise Tom Jones wasn’t cool after all and name dropping Elvis was his sole remaining talent. Jessie J and Rita Ora were window dressing but this season they have got the cuntmaster general Boy (crabby old cunt) George out of his dungeon to drool over window cleaners and washed up cunts of yesteryear.

Nominated by: Sixdog Vomit

David Cameron [17]

images

David Cameron is my nomination. Possibly a little obvious, but still, he deserves it. Despite having spent months flying all over the EU to ā€œrenegotiateā€ Britain’s membership of the EU, he has today confirmed what those of us who aren’t rabid, braindead Europhiles have known for the sometime. His ā€œdealā€ with Brussels is worth far less than a 3 week old pile of dog shit.

Apparently, part of this deal is that the UK now has a ā€˜Special Statusā€. Although, what that special status is I don’t know, because as far as I can tell, this wretched deal is as hollow as the centre of Polo mint. And I’ll be surprised if Cameron knows what it is. Right now, Cameron is like a two year old who has just smeared the walls of his bedroom with his own shit, and is now proudly showing the brown coloured palms of his hands to his horrified parents.

I am not just angry, I am fucking insulted, that Cameron’s contempt for the British people is such that he actually thinks we’re all stupid enough to think he’s brought back something meaningful from Brussels. He actually brought back LESS than what he went with. And now we know that the June 23rd is referendum day, we’re going to have four months of lies and bellendery from those dumb fucks who hate democracy and want unelected foreign cunts who hate us to run this country.

My birthday is on the 30th of June. I’m hoping a majority of British people will give the best birthday present ever, and vote to leave the EU.

Nominated by : Quick Draw McGraw