Cressida Dick [2]

What can I say? She’s a Dick.

Doubtless some will think “where have I heard that name before?” and recall that it was linked to the total balls made by the Met and its specialist teams over the false identification as an active terrorist and the subsequent surveillance and Ramboesque slaughter orf the innocent Jean Charles de Menedez in a tube train at Stockwell. Whoops.

No harm done though because Cressida kept her plum and nicely diverse job and went on to become Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police despite the anguish, incompetence and callous treatment inflicted upon the Menendez family which whipped up a whirlwind orf criticism across politics and the media. Exonerated of blame by a police enquiry, head down, Carry On Cressida.

Thus London is proud to still have her in post to defend the Smoke against the rapidly rising tide orf knife and gun murders orf colour (and I do not just mean the deluge orf crimson drenching the young victims and pavements) in the Capital. Doubtless you will further recall a previous post by Yours Truly listing the names orf victims from a previous carve up which appeared to feature none orf white ethnicity. Embarrassing.

Since then bugger all seems to have been done by Ms Dick about it except a little scattering orf Snowflakes and protestations that it is all doine to society and “de yoot is disenfranchised and ain’t got nuttin’ to do” except try to kill each other. Accept it is all my fault, again, as an old white cunt but a little confused at the experts orf colour popping up orn telly now demanding a return to ‘Stop and Search’ as maligned by the PC brigade for years – providing it is part orf a holistic approach and is seen as one tool from a toolbox orf other measures including cuddly toys for all and tea lights in every crack den. Oooomm.

I reckon at least six more carve ups have taken place in the Smoke since YT started this missive. Personally YT believes it is all doine to the extra hour orf daylight (de yoot need plenty orf light for a good drive by) so roll orn the long hot days orf summer. PS whatever happened to the acid attacks? Fickle yoot fashion. Stop and Search T shirts?

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

Commercial psy ops

Commercial psy ops are due a cunting, lets call them what they are,

Psychological warfare and the act of deception has been around for centuries Sun Tzu wrote of such actions in the art of war.
Fast forward a couple of centuries and we have a newer generation of play station warriors trying the same tricks but very badly.

We have a constant stream of what is declared to be “Fake news”. The Government set up the “Nudge committee” then embarked upon “Project Fear” all of which were rather poorly orchestrated and only taken up by the blind unthinking and those that would benefit from their propagation.

Through the use of political correctness as a constraint against questioning the direction of the push various organisations have managed to push through some quite bizarre laws and changes in the social fabric of dare I say it the world.

Well that’s me cunted out, a bit of food for thought to help you through the insanity of the day and the right wrongs.

Nominated by common sense

John Motson

BBC legend John Motson (or Mottie as he likes to be called) has been on our TV screens and radios as a football commentator since 1971.

He delivered his penultimate radio football commentary on 11th March. This forms part of his ‘farewell tour’ (FFS) before he is wheeled out for his final game in May 2018 (BBC’s FA Cup final programme).

This national treasure and BBC luvvie, described by Barbara Slater (BBC director of sport): “John Motson is a real asset to the football world and he will be sorely missed. It isn’t hard to see why he is so highly treasured, not just by the BBC but also by the nation, due to his instantly recognisable voice, wonderful sense of humour and his incredible dedication to the sport”.

Personally never thought much of or liked him as a commentator, despite the copious amounts of homework he did or the statistics fired off. Give me the raw passion of the late Brian Moore (the voice of football) from The Big Match any day of the week.

Mottie, less of a leg-end and more of an old bell-end (that’s perhaps what the OBE stands for after his name) in my humble opinion, the ultimate football anorak (or should that be smelly old sheepskin coat)

From the man that gave you:

For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip

Northern Ireland are ten minutes away from their finest victory. There’s 15 minutes to go here.

The Czech Republic are coming from behind in more than one way now.

Owen scores and breaks Lineker’s competitive scoring record. Although this being a friendly it doesn’t actual count, so he hasn’t quite done it yet.

Not the first half you might have expected, even though the score might suggest that it was.

The goals made such a difference to the way this game went.

The match has become quite unpredictable, but it still looks as though Arsenal will win the cup.

Whether that was a penalty or not, the referee thought otherwise.

It’s Arsenal 0, Everton 1, and the longer it stays like that, the more you’ve got to fancy Everton.

Probably his only decent quote in nearly half a century-The Crazy Gang have beaten the Culture Club.

After nearly 50 years on our screens and radios frankly glad to see him moving on, anyway, probably about time he was substituted for an early bath (preferably still in that stupid fucking coat).

Nominated by willie stroker

Staffordshire Bull Terriers

It would be petty, nay puerile, unfair and childishly cruel of me to cunt Staffordshire Bull Terriers. Therefore I will.

The forever badge of the shitty junkie, either forced to endure eight hours of shivering its leathery barrel of a body next to the repeated ,”Spare eny chainge, mate?”, or tied-up outside an Off Licence while he pops inside to spend his begging booty on four cans of Special Ace and a fistful of scratch-cards.

Is it at all possible to walk down any High Street in Britain without seeing these poor brutes straining at the end of a frayed bit of string attached to the grimy, pox-peppered hand of a pikey? I feel the contrasting emotions of Disgust and Sympathy when I see these snarling animals, teetering on the edge of hunger and no doubt enslaved in a world of shoddy food and gratuitous violence, all knackered teeth, odious breath and patchy skin. Perhaps the best thing to do would be to have them all put down, as quietly, as swiftly and as humanely as possible.

However, we should put their dogs into sanctuaries.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Andrew Adonis [2]

“Baron” Andrew (or, Andreas, to give him his real name, since he’s half Greek Cypriot) Adonis is due for another cunting. I mean, seriously, has there EVER been a man SO misnamed? In a sign that being vehemently anti-Brexit has driven him completely insane, Adonis has sent out SEVENTY TWO tweets in SEVEN days, claiming the BBC are biased in favour of Brexit. Sorry Andrew? Say that again. The BBC Biased in favour of Brexit? You really do need a strait jacket mate. The BBC has NEVER been biased in favour of ANYTHING even remotely pro-Brexit. I mean this is an organisation that employs that goatee bearded wingnut, Lineker, and other left wing cunts, who are almost as anti-Brexit as Adonis. Here are a couple of examples of Adonis’ whingeing lunacy;

“As I explore working of #BrexitBroadcastingCorporation , I am amazed at its layer upon layer of management. There’s even an internal system of censorship above editors/lawyers, called ‘Editorial Policy,’ which vetoes output likely to offend government & Mr Farage”.

“BBC CRISIS: Key moment in Brexit takeover of BBC was Tony Hall’s appointment of my good friend & Cabinet colleague James Purnell as his right-hand man. Ever since, Tony & James been over-compensating pro-Brexit & anti-Labour. Join dots on #BrexitBroadcastingCorporation”

“I’m struck by how many people tell me we need an impartial radio alternative to Today Programme of the #BrexitBroadcastingCorporation. One which doesn’t have a 1950s clergy ‘thought for the day’ & a review of papers where John Humphrys reads out large parts of the Daily Mail”.

Shit, really? The “Brexit Broadcasting Corporation”? This fuckwit clearly hasn’t tuned in to the BBC since the referendum because;
A) The BBC rarely invites Nigel Farage onto any of its shows, especially Question Time.
B)”Auntie” has NEVER shown anything other than a bias toward REMAIN. In fact, it’s been fervently pro-Remain, Pro-Labour and, increasingly, pro-far left for about the past thirty or forty years. To claim otherwise, you either need to be a complete and utter moron, a desperate, left wing dickhead, who has never held an elected office, but still managed to collect large amounts of taxpayer’s money AND a peerage, or someone who has been driven mad by the fact that it’s becoming increasingly clear to all but the most fanatical Remainer that they Brexit WILL happen. Probably not in the way we voted for, but it will happen. And there’s nothing Remainers can do about it. It just happens that Adonis fits all three of those descriptions.

To claim that the BBC, an organisation so infested with left wing cunts, it makes the current Labour party look like Tories, is as pathetic and deranged as it is untrue. I suspect that as March 2019 draws nearer, we will see increasingly desperate attempts by anti-British pricks like Adonis, to scupper Brexit. Even more than they already have that is. As I said, earlier, Adonis has spent the past twenty years at the public trough, despite NEVER having the decency to stand for election. He’s just one more of Blair’s unpleasant and unwanted gifts to the nation. He started out as an ‘academic’ at Oxford, before becoming a journalist for the FT and then The Observer. He was then brought in by Blair to be an advisor at the Number 10 Policy Unit in ’98. In 2001, he was made head of the policy unit until being made a life peer in ’05. He was then made Minister of State for Education, until 2008 when he became Minister of State for Transport. In ’09, Brown promoted him to the Cabinet, and he became Secretary of State for Transport until 2010. He’s spent the past eight years troughing in the Lords. Like I said, not bad for someone who has NEVER been elected to public office.

Adonis makes Norman Bates look like the sanest person in the history of the human race. If ever anyone was in desperate need of the strongest anti-psychotic medication, Adonis is that person. He is, without doubt, an ocean going cunt.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw