All, Flying Ant Day will soon be upon us, so here’s what you need to know.
There’s no specific day as such. This takes place between late June and August and is when queen ants take to the air pursued by hundreds of horny males. So, much like the Summer mating rituals of humans, except we don’t fly after the females.
The media will no doubt offer advice on how to keep these irritating bastards out of your house.
The Express will probably suggest sealing all doors and windows with expanding foam, and sitting with your feet in a bowl of iced water as you attempt not to suffocate/die of heatstroke, because they always offer such sensible advice, the absolute morons.
Some people will suggest burning sage, of dried tea leaves, or something equally useless.
My advice, purchase a full beekeepers outfit and wear it constantly. Temu sells them. Or you could buy a can of Raid and zap them into oblivion.
You’re welcome, no need to thank me.
Nominated by : Jeezum Priest
Perhaps we could get this guy to deal with the Ants, after he’s finished with the vermin…!
https://youtube.com/shorts/Tc8XMClOh3Q?is=HCWbpHNP_PXmkFuJ
11
I like things that fly, that shouldn’t be able to.
Squirrels and fish, emu, not so much rod hull and the spruce goose..
Even gays are starting to fly..
Im looking forward to wes streakings maiden flight, 15 minutes after the Ilford north election results are announced.
7
I remember that advert, Baz.
The bird in the hot air balloon, eating that slimming bread.
‘She flies like a bird in the sky..
She flies like a bird and I wish that she was mine.’🎵
That one.
5
Just did a check and the ant comes second to the dung beetle, who can drag around more shite than you can sniff at.
4
Surely that pneumatic Katie Price has got to figure in the stats somewhere, Sammy?
💩🪠
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No Pubis, because there’s nothing natural about her other than being a thick plastic cunt.
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Public Service Announcement
It has come to the Governcunt’s notice that ants are hard-working, industrious, self-reliant and fiercely loyal to their colony, which they will protect aggressively. Furthermore they fly frequently, thus adding to global warming.
The Governcunt will not tolerate such outrageous right-wing behaviour. As his parting gift to a grateful nation, Prime Minister Starmbot has announced that ant hills are to be repurposed to house African refugee locusts fleeing persecution in war-torn France. Any ants who resist, or who encourage other ants to resist, will be fast tracked through the courts and face the full force of the law.
Further information can be found on gov.co.uk/fuckyouuk
11
I`d love to be able to fly, like a bird – just imagine being able to crap on stuff/people you didn`t like, from height, accurately.
🐥💦
7
Wishing you could fly is a wonderful notion, P 🍑 M.
Shared by that entertaining megastar of 80’s light entertainment royalty:
https://share.google/sNtq8I1s6hQMzh0zL
5
Novel idea, one day of being a pest and fuck off home, hope it catches on .
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Public announcement:
GB is being occupied and taken over.
Not by Ants.
By Muslims.
It is time the tail stopped wagging the dog.
It is time to fight back and stop the destruction of 1000 years of civilization..!
BURNHAM YOU FLIP FLOP CUNT.
DO NOT GO DOWN THE LEFTY LIBERAL WOKERATI ROAD, IT WILL NOT END WELL..🇬🇧✝️🔥☠️
11
These days it’s probably called Ant Pride
2
Thank goodness parking Stanleys can’t fly, now they would be nasty pests.
1