
I fucking hate the way they all – every single one of them – collapse on the track after the last event, gasping for air and massively over-egging the pudding like some choreographed beaching of a pod of dolphins.
They have just run 800 metres as fast as they can; I get it. But no other event – including the Marathon or the Cycling road race – ends up with the whole field of competitors looking as if they have been hit with a cluster bomb or sucked in a face full of Nerve Agent.
“But the poor dears have done 7 events – they are shattered.”
Bollocks. Half of the events are just jumping or throwing something; never get out of breath and probably doesn’t add up to an hour’s work for any of them over the weekend. They are blatantly faking it to convince us that a life spent pissing around on a permanent School Sports Day is a worthwhile cause and fully deserving of lottery funding.
Try doing a real job you pampered posers, and stop taking the piss.
And do you really need a different outfit – and shoes – for each event?
All Cunts. Especially the miserable scouse bird that actually won Gold this week, Catamaran Johnson Schmonson. Face like a slapped arse and nowhere near as fit (in the proper sense of the word) as Jessica whatsername who used to win it or that Dennis Lewis who won two medals and now just rows the midget lady around in a boat.
Nominated by: Gunner Sugden



