I fucking hate the way they all – every single one of them – collapse on the track after the last event, gasping for air and massively over-egging the pudding like some choreographed beaching of a pod of dolphins.
They have just run 800 metres as fast as they can; I get it. But no other event – including the Marathon or the Cycling road race – ends up with the whole field of competitors looking as if they have been hit with a cluster bomb or sucked in a face full of Nerve Agent.
“But the poor dears have done 7 events – they are shattered.”
Bollocks. Half of the events are just jumping or throwing something; never get out of breath and probably doesn’t add up to an hour’s work for any of them over the weekend. They are blatantly faking it to convince us that a life spent pissing around on a permanent School Sports Day is a worthwhile cause and fully deserving of lottery funding.
Try doing a real job you pampered posers, and stop taking the piss.
And do you really need a different outfit – and shoes – for each event?
All Cunts. Especially the miserable scouse bird that actually won Gold this week, Catamaran Johnson Schmonson. Face like a slapped arse and nowhere near as fit (in the proper sense of the word) as Jessica whatsername who used to win it or that Dennis Lewis who won two medals and now just rows the midget lady around in a boat.
Nominated by: Gunner Sugden
These splitarses better up their game before the tranny’s move in.
Won’t find them collapsing exhausted!
No chance!
They’ll be doing sit ups and rearranging their strapped up cocks and false titties.
Stop being victims and bake me a cake luv.
22
Ten minutes in their changing room and I’d be out of breath.
13
Ok 2
11
Christ on an e-scooter! Wimminz athletes collapsing?
Vakzine probably to blame…
As if there weren’t enough things to get hung abaaaht!
9
I`m jiggered after putting on my ginger (anag) make-up.
Still, you have to snigger, don`t you?
6
You have it all wrong GS. They are lying down for the next event. Shagathon, look how some of them are, legs at right angles, just waiting…
3
Female tennis superstar Emma Radicanu loses in first round of the US Open, the tournament she won by a fluke last year. She has done virtually nothing since. The sponsors and advertisers who clamoured to make this useless bird a multi millionaire must be sick as parrots. They backed a loser.
Just another example which shows that women’s sport is massively overhyped.
10
Slag earned £21M last year and she’s put up on this pedestal of being a legend.
Cunt isn’t even English, was born in Canada!
Chinky and Romanian heritage I believe, so part commie, part gippo – lovely soup of slop.
Fuck off.
2
Heptathlon
1. Hand Job
2. Blow job
3. Front bottom
4. Back bottom
5. Tit wank
6. Threesome with best mate (their best mate)
7. This one I can leave open to suggestions.
17
Daisy chaining.!
5
7. Rusty Trombone.
4
7. Erotic pissing
4
8. Spit roast
3
10. Scat party.
2
7. Threesome with her mum.
4
I watch it solely for a glimpse of the Beatle Bonnet, just lately though the Camera man has been a bit tight with his zoom lens or he’s bent and saving it for the big black man races.!
8
Heptathlons ( and decathlons) are for Cunts who aren’t good enough to win an individual event…it’s like winning an “all-rounder” prize at school…Jack-of-all-trades,master of none.
Daley Thompson would get my toe up his arse….lazy,run-of-the-mill mediocrity.
9
Clubman of the Year amateur football teams call it.
Basically the spacker substitute that goes to all the games but never gets brought on unless they are 10 nil down and it doesn’t matter
7
Not good enough to excel in one event so they just turn up and Wank it off in the below average competition.!
0
Probably lying there contemplating that they will never win again after all the trans-benders enter the sport next year..
8
Copying the men. The decathlon’s last event is the 1,500 metres. They are genuinely knackered after 10 events. A lot of decathletes are big fellas, built more for field (throwing) events and are genuinely fucked at the end, but I think they put it on a bit at the end too when they do the same thing.
All falling down at the end on their backs. Fuck off.
Those skinny cunts who haven’t eaten for 3 weeks and run 26 miles in 2 hours don’t do that. They usually walk off waving. Some go the gym straight after (ok made that up.) Hardly ever see them collapsing, and when they do, they’re not egging it up.
The women do it in the Heptathlon because they’ve seen the men doing it in the Decathlon. They’re a bit like kids in that respect.
Remember when you were seven and would pretend to be Keegan, Daglish, Brady, Robson or whoever?
It’s the same thing.
You do get some good camera shots of cameltoe at the end of the wimminz event though, so not all bad.
10
And the scoring system in these events makes them pretty much unwatchable.
“53 metres. That’s 894 points. He’s now just 142 points off bronze.”
Fuck off. Just have 9 entrants to the televised final. Winner of an event gets 9 points down to 1 point for last.
Would make it much easier to watch and understand.
5
I know that several of my fellow cunters were also privileged to serve in HM Royal Marines and complete various physical tests in order to join that club.
Every bootneck knows that the purpose of a speed march is to cover ground quickly and be in a fit state to conduct combat operations once you get there.
If this heptathitis lying-down-and-gasping nonsense is allowed to spread (and I imagine it is already encouraged in the RAF) our brave troops will be fit for fuck all when they reach the enemy trenches.
And as for those blokes that do 10 events and then throw themselves down like Spanish footballers ……………… a blatant display of poofery, if ever there was.
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=windsor+davies+poofery&&view=detail&mid=F1D3413D79EDE920F0EAF1D3413D79EDE920F0EA&rvsmid=04FE13B4DD2158AAB93A04FE13B4DD2158AAB93A&FORM=VDQVAP
12
Yes I was RM between 94 to 99.
I can only imagine if I’d thrown myself on the floor after the 30 miler. I’d still be pulling the boot from my arsehole
Stupid lazy cunts
7
Evening Royal!
Perhaps that’s what these cunts need at the halfway point – a Ginsters Pasty and a pint of ‘limers’.
Never done me no harm!
6
Evening Gunner, I was listening to a David Goggins podcast the other day and he said all the other Navy SEALs thought he was an utterly mad cunt because he’d always go straight to the gym after coming back off from weeks of exercises or even during selection. Didn’t matter if it was midnight he’d still go
Can’t imagine he’d be too impressed with the heptathletes having a little lie down after the 100m hurdles. Cunts can’t even be arsed to do the extra 10m
5
Yep flopping around on the floor like dolphins on a beech and don’t get me started on wimminz football.
Bring back that Michelle Jenneck, she was the ausy runner who did that sexy dance as for the rest most of them are as sexy as a tin of live bait.
Until they get some talent it’s really not worth wasting your life watching this shit…
5
Do my fellow slightly younger cunters (I’m 50) remember ‘Daley Thompson’s Decathlon’ on the dear old ZX Spectrum?
Daley was completely white with white hair! I’d love to point that out to a young wokie:
https://images.app.goo.gl/vzRYbMivoULoEKwD9
8
Too right I remember it Thomas.
My mate down the road had it and we’d literally spend hours bashing the keys to fuck, good job they were made of some type of soft plastic.
Then some 20 years or so later we got the internet and another type of bashing was assumed around or near a key board!!
5
Indeed I do and it was fucking brilliant.
5
Apart from the single world champs she won , KJT is an absolute bottle job, always bawling like she’s been on the Western Front for year and going on about how hard her life is.
Should have won a lot more but lacks the stones to do so.
Then you have Dina Asher Smith who this Euro Championships said she pulled up in the 100m because it her period and if it was men there’d be more funding for research
No, we’d just not fucking moan about it.
You wanted equality, you’ve got it, so shut the fuck up
6
I thought that header pic was taken before the event. Oh well! I was wrong!
5
It’s all fucked up. Should have been called ‘Septethalon,’ if it’s 7 events. The cunts can’t even get that one right.
3
Or even ‘Septathalon ‘ I guess.
3
Couldn’t be six events of course. Sextathelon would be misleading but would probably get more viewers at first.
4
No shiny shites awarded for these daft bints
4
I like them because of their arses and that.
After that I have no interest in their endeavours.
Thank fuck they got rid of East German athletics,those buggers were a right mess.
Great TV.
5
Like the rest of wimminz sport a poor facsimile of men’s sports
Fuck off back to the kitchen and get the bloody tea ready. Oh then the bedroom and assume the position in the header pic you Cunt.
Hope Mrs Everyonesacunt doesn’t read last comment.
8
More circus than sports.
Very unsportsmanly. At least have enough fortitude to walk off to the changing rooms, head held high, before you collapse.
Undignified attention seeking cunts / wankeresses.
5
Get Clare Balding waiting for them with two vibrating fists strapped to her arms, a 25 inch strap on and full bull dyke rubber SS uniform. That’ll stop the hard done by cunts lazing about the finishing line.
9