A mug of tea, proper mans drink. C.A.
It’s mid-morning. You’re driving to wherever you need to go next. Your tummy rumbles, so you think “OK, I’ll shove a pasty in it”.
You spot a Gregg’s and think “Yeah, a square of pastry-encased shit will do for now”. You have a window of about 5 minutes to get to where you need to be next.
You park up and in you go, and there they are. Four or five orange-vested, lesser spotted actually working Apes at the counter, all buying MSG-baked fare, but with a twist – they all want ‘coffees’ with the cardboard food substitute they’re buying.
“Can I get 27 steak bakes and 300 Latte’s love”
“Can I get” automatically qualifies them for Oven.
“Latte’s” is a poove’s drink.
You reach work 25 minutes late because of these absolute cunts that have been conditioned to think it’s normal life to go back and forth to work whilst ordering ‘coffee’ from shitty places in between.
Fuck the neanderthal cunts.
Nominated by WokeUpTodayAndRealisedWhatACuntIAm.
I’m firmly convinced this modern obsession with expensive “to go” coffee is the main reason our nation is in the shitter..
Oh no,wait…its the Uniparty.
And wógs.
Anyway,whatever the reason,carting around a bucket sized container of coffee that costs a fortune and contains more sugar than a crate of Mars Bars is the mark of an outright cunt.
Probably Liberal Democrats to boot.
Mellow Birds Oven.
Good morning.
21
Real working men drink tea.
Simple as that.
Do you think we would have won at Alamein, fuelled by a woofters drink?
Like fuck!
Most tank crews would brew up mid battle (and I don’t mean being hit by an 88mm shell).
Fritz couldn’t handle a tea induced lubbocking.
And as for the Italians, they started all this effete coffee business, and they shit their pants and surrendered in droves.
I rest my case.
20
That said, some other Mediterranean countries do it right.
Ask for a latte in Greece and you’re likely to get deported.
Strong, black and slightly syrupy, Greek coffee will have the uninitiated buzzing their tits off.
12
Bravo Field Marshal.
It’s also worth a bet that the Royal Engineers didn’t charge £300 an hour to change a washer either.
10
As an older man I remember with affection Round The Horne (1965-1968) and their version of Peter Kyle and Wes Streeting – Julian & Sandy. They often spoke about their “latty” (lattee?). “Bona Latties” – as garden experts Jule and Sand would offer to “put some creepers up your trellis, duckie”. Home and Lattie.
What pisses me off even more (those blokes in their orange jackets tend to work hard in difficult conditions and in freezing cold or boiling heat), are these old bags and young twats still wearing that back pack they used to wear to school, getting on the bus with a large silver jug of coffee like a modern Thermos flask. I’d be dying for a piss if I drunk that amount in one sitting.. Even then, things are a bit better – a few years ago they would have whipped their “Harry Potter” books out of their satchel.
Perhaps I am getting soft in my old age but at least “can I get” sounds more friendly than the old “give me a……” demand, beloved even today by Karen’s everywhere of both sexes.
7
Fuck me, you’ve droned on a bit there, WC. Worse than Rambling Sid – and he could ramble. I’ve got the CD.
Joking apart, I’m with you on the can’t be seen dead without a scalding samovar of coffee cunts. Just as bad are the wankers who can’t function in the urban outdoors without an overly conspicuous bottle of overpriced spring water. They wouldn’t even know a cold water tap if they fell over one.
9
Well, me dearios, I think I was more aging juvenile Binkie Huckerback (remember my dahling, dahling, Fiona, Dame Celia Molestrangler: – “I’m going to ask them to remove it….. say you understand, please say you understand, Fiona”. ‘I understand, Charles, I really do understand – there’s nothing worse than a cold hot water bottle’). At my worst I am probably that Sunday night person in person – Sheamus Android – the show that makes you long for Monday morning.
I agree with you about the water, too. I have seen people go for a premium bottle when “own label” is less than half the price.
3
Many many times. Lady Counterblast
3
Im drinking an espresso while reading this.. yeah latte’s are for people that don’t like the taste of coffee. Like putting lemonade in your beer.
But tea has more gay flavours than pride month in Brighton..
Chamomile,Hibiscus,Peppermintwhat the actual fuck..
All picked by Indians that shit in the street.
16
Those nancy infusions shouldn’t be sold as tea if, as is often the case, they don’t contain tea leaves.
How they are allowed to market it as such is beyond me.
9
The popularity of teabags baffles me Field Marshal. When they were introduced everyone noticed pretty quickly that they were produced in order to move poor quality tea, if you opened one the contents resembled the dust which would previously have been swept up on the warehouse floor. I was reminded of those days recently when watching an old episode of “The Likely Lads” where someone apologised for the tea only being from teabags. Apart from that when you’ve drunk the tea you have a nasty little soggy bag to dispose of whereas spent, wet tea leaves just go down the sink.
7
Indeed, Arfur.
I remember my old man bemoaning the demise of proper loose tea.
Mums response was ‘make it your fucking self then’, which he wouldn’t have dreamt of.
And the day she bought decaffeinated by mistake was fucking hilarious.
I’d never heard language like it.
11
Wes Streeting & his bum chums drink Camp Coffee.
11
When I was working I practically lived on coffee. I wouldn’t have delayed you though WokeUp since I almost never paid for it. I always begged it off the customers. Except if I was at MacDonalds. Their coffee tasted as if they’d syphoned it out of the U-bend yesterday.
7
Coffee is for guardian-readers, hómòsexuals, people who steer at Brexit, and cunts who drive automatic, electric cars.
7
You cheeky sod Cap’n! I resent being classed as any of those failed human beings. I confess on occasion I drive the younger’s automatic but it’s a proper old school torque converter auto which slurs up the gears without loss of drive, kicks down instantly and spools up to the red line when required.
6
Those p.g. tips monkeys 🐵 knew the score 😩…not a brew if you can’t stand your 🥄 in it 👍…mochachitto frothy caramelised piss at work 🧐…a proper navvie would cave your skull in with his …you dig 👊
7
They are only aping that old cunt on NCIS. Apparently NCIS is Theresa May’s favourite telly programme. I imagine Theresa May mainly drinks blood down in her torture dungeon.
8
Adolf Hitler preferred tea, apparently, which should bracket him as a ‘proper chap’.
But then again, he was ultimately responsible for blowing in my grandparents windows and leaving them with a fucking great big crack in the side of their house.
The cunt!
10
I would blame Hermann Goring, the fat cunt.
10
It was doodlebug in ‘44, Twenty.
Not sure if Herman was responsible for that, but we’ll blame him anyway.
He probably enjoyed a latte.
7
And lots of morphine.
6
Goring would have approved of Burnham’s eye liner
3
Absolutely, and fancied corsets and high heels and drank frothy skinny latte’s (according to History Channel) so definitely suspect.
1
Actually he had his own brew made with carraway seeds which he’d enthusiastically offer round at his midnight tea and cake sessions … no takers.
4
The only way I know is carrying fruit around with me. Quenches the thirst and appetite without mingling with annoying cunts.
4
That brew in the header pic?
like something a fuckin granny would drink.
warm milk.
virgins piss.
i like my coffee cowboy style,
strong as fuck , no sugar,
so I’m twitching and blinking like a epileptic at a disco.
sets you up for the day.
one a day, in the morning.
Then ice water while working.
i wouldn’t spend a fuckin fiver on a cup though!
of some multinational woke cunts.
nope,
jar of Aldis finest.
any issues speak to my barrista.
11
Ay, I’ll gladly vouch for Aldi’s ‘Costa Rica’ blend 👍
4
That’s the one CC 👍
3
My coffee is always blacker and stronger than lammys grip on the last KFC drumstick.
Coffee should always be served looking like Helen of Troy..
9
My Coffees that black the BBC cast it as Anne Boleyn and Is probably getting a damehood.
12
As a sophisticated sort of person my day starts Earl Grey.
I do like proper tea but I have to maintain standards.
I like coffee, too much
5
And as above I’ll happily vouch fer Aldi’s Earl Grey, most acceptable, 1/3rd the price of fucking Twinings too!
3
I drink Yorkshire Tea (laak it used te be!), with a drop of milk. Well brewed and strong, no sugar. Sugar in tea is horrible.
I drink dark roast coffee prepared in one of those wop stove pot things, and then add some water and milk to the mug for a high quality, white coffee. The good thing about coffee is it helps me to take a shit with its laxative effect.
Why people want to spend four quid on the weak piss from Starbucks is beyond me. How much of the national wealth gets squandered on these shite coffee chains?
Anybody who orders a soy latte should be shot.
9
Yorkshire tea? Must be global warming.
5
yanks like their coffee dont they?
drink it all day.
Explains why they never shut their fuckin gobs.They like it with doughnuts.
I dont like doughnuts.
doughnuts pretzels, polo mints, bagels,
anything with a hole in it is a rip off.
oh an Sasha Johnson
9
I’ve plugged up her holes with spunk.
That one in her noggin took many cranial cummings.
Although she is easy to reposition between bouts of sauciness and then I can just roll her back into her cage.
9
I’d be careful of putting it in her mouth. She wouldn’t think twice about biting it off due to her having fuck all to live for. She’d be the first woman I’d ever given a good hiding to. Does she speak at all ? I would be slapping her across the face at any given time I felt like it if she answered me back the black cunt.
6
You’re talking about doing naughty things to a human rights champion that’s what crime stoppers calls her, still crying for witnesses. Why?she was hit by a bullet fired from a gun held by a black dude, whitey had fuck all to do with her unfortunate experience .
2
Getting hard to find loose tea. Just had a cuppa with a Garibaldi biscuit.
As for teabags..!
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10389239/
4
Thanks for that Doc. We always use loose tea for reasons of taste and convenience. It hadn’t occurred to me that teabags are fucking poisonous!
4
Fancy coffee drinkers are cunts.
Latte is Italian for milk.
It is pronounced as it is spelled.
There is no fucking R in latte. So it is cuntish and wrong to pronounce it Lar-Tey.
If you ordered a latte in Italy you would get a glass of milk.
You would also be thought of as an idiot if you ordered a coffee with milk (un café latte) or a cappuccino after 11am in Italy or any any other Mediterranean country.
Your body doesn’t handle milk that well, especially when you are older.
We have lots of different types of coffee drinks, but the big coffee companies are only in the big cities or airports.
We will drink café con leche in the mornings.
Perhaps a café carajillo if you need a wake up boost (coffee with cognac).
In the afternoons and evenings it’s café solo.
Strong black coffee (espresso).
Anything else, if it’s available, would be for the daft tourists.
Where I live I wouldn’t have to pay more than €1,50 for any type of coffee.
Workmen drink beer or water.
5
Want to know how your builders are getting on with that job you’re paying them through the nose for? Go anywhere between the hours of 8am – 2pm that serves bacon and ask them.
4
I never used to drink tea.
Bizarrely, I don’t like the smell of it, especially cold tea.
Mrs Cunter says that it doesn’t smell at all, but it does for me.
So she makes her own tea when she wants one.
I did start out drinking Chinese Long Jing tea a few years back.
I get the proper stuff sent to me by a colleague in China.
It does actually work by dropping your blood sugar level.
I will have either that or a cup of tea made by boiling a small cinnamon stick first thing in the morning.
Any other diabetics should try either.
Don’t buy Green Tea from a supermarket or store in the UK (or elsewhere I imagine).
It has to be the proper stuff.
3
At the moment I’m drinking pure orange juice with loads of ice cubes.
keeps the rickets at bay.
later with my tea ill have a pint pot of pure apple juice with loads of ice.
keeps the doctors at bay.
for tea? bacon crusty roll.
keep the Muslims at bay.
8
After a barbecue it will be down the ice cream bar for me and Mrs Cunter MNC.
A few beers for me and an ice cream followed by a few tintos de verano for the wife.
¡Genial!
2
nice👍
love a BBQ.
I’ve worked today, missus Miserable is at her mams helping with her gran (dementia) so when she gets home it’s lasagne for her
pork ribs for the dog
bacon for me.
everyone happy that way.
5
If I wanted a tea or coffee whilst on my travels, I’d bring my own on principle due to the robbing prices they charge. Besides, I’d want that drink to be just the way I make it.
4
I have visions of the slap head in the baked beans advert, taking tins of the crap on his holidays and losing them Sammy.
But I get your drift.
The price of a quite nasty coffee in St. Mark’s Square, Venice would make anyone’s eyes water.
And the cunts double that already outrageous price if there is live music playing.
Take out a mortgage if you want to sit outside a bar and drink a coffee in Monaco or Capri.
3
I tend to reply when adverts are mentioned, Artful. Its donkeys years since watching them. The soft bastards aren’t allowed to show the ones I enjoyed, especially the darkie singing the Esso sign means happy motoring.
4
In Britain coffee used to be expensive AND exotic. If you don’t believe me, watch a film that often crops up on Talking Pictures called “The Great Van Robbery” (1959) with the late Denis Shaw in a very rare leading role as ‘Ceaser Smith’. What do you mean, never heard of him? – he’s only been dead 56 years. The script was by Brian Clemens who a few years later teamed up with Julian Wintle and Laurie Johnson and made The Avengers with Honor Blackman, the (then) beautiful Diana Rigg and Patrick Macnee.
6
Has anyone here tried Civit Coffee?
The Palm Civit picks only the best coffee beans to eat.
It ignores everything else.
Once eaten the shell of the bean is digested and the gut enzymes work on the remaining bean which is not digested but shat out.
Some unlucky cunt then has to sift through the civit shit for the beans which then go on to make, what is acknowledged to be, the very best coffee you could ever have.
I know that it sounds fucking horrible, but I would give it a go.
Probably very expensive.
5
God Almighty think how forged ciivit shit coffee must be made, suppose Romanian pikeys got in on the act.
3
I bought some off amazon Arty, about 30 quid for 200g. It’s actually very nice when made in the cafetiere.
1
Tea? The produce of Indians and Chinese peasants who shit in it to give it flavour.
No one who likes coffee buys it from a chain store or a wanky post coffee shop.
Fucking tea, it’s disgusting paki piss.
3
I think that you will find that tea is produced in Yorkshire Sixdog.
The local pickers can be seen on the south facing tea moors, wearing their flat caps to protect themselves from the sun.
They chat away all day in their strange language, talking about their sheep getting tupped and other incomprehensible nonsense.
At the end of the day they drink a thing called bitter and eat an odd type of pudding.
7
No shortage of South Asians here is there? Cunts won’t work though!
3
Pop these lower iq clowns where Greggs “cook” their bakes.
4
I do tend to have different strengths of coffee from the cafetière I use, depending upon the amount of milk I put in the large cup I then put in the microwave. It’s weak to start with, but gets stronger with each top up from the cafetière.
3
Off Topic ****
Anyone seen the suspect in the Anne Widdecombe murder?
Fuck me, he’s a beatnik.
long hair beard , looks like he should be on stage with Jethro Tull circa 1971.
Joshua kerry he’s called.
No wonder he had to target a 78yr old woman,
anyone else would of kicked his cunt in.
He’ll be fucked in prison.
8
But looks nothing like the cunt they arrested in Rotherham.
4
https://youtu.be/Jy5O-FUeEjM?is=uRVx6rhv_bC9ni4X
knew I’d seen him before SixDog.
Hes a calfornian chemistry professor.
far out!
3
Pasty cunt would evaporate in California, or soapy water. Though I’m sure university professors are somehow linked to the goings on.
3
Are the fatso’s absolutely sure he’s 28 years old?
Have they actually got the right bloke?
‘He asked me to look after the place for a couple of weeks as he was going abroad, officer, I’m just the house sitter’
‘I don’t think you are mate’
4
And they’re taking their time charging him, aren’t they?
The cynic in me wonders, if he is a far left nutter with a right wing hit list, they’ll charge him during king Andy’s coronation on Monday.
It’d be a great day to bury unpalatable news.
4
Sorry mis, that’s the replacement for the hairy biker that died..
5
I see Andy Bumthem describes his philosophy as “Manchesterism”…
Vacuous nonsense. Does that mean bringing in loads of parkis and africscum, having quares banging each others arses full of monkeypox and AIDS along the canal, building pointless tower blocks with bungs and sandwög finance? Whilst the tired high street is full of Gollum-esque druggies and the airport has no seats and is falling to bits…
Everything about Manchester just sums up the neo liberal, globalist wank he claims to be against. It always results in a brief flurry of excitement, regeneration and total over-hype puff piece promotion in the media which people fall for, and then… you just have to wait for a while to see the pathetic results and the wheels falling off after people have invested their savings in the buy-to-let shite near the BBC outpost. Garbage.
And the thing is, he didn’t even create the Manchester monstrosity, just wants people to associate him with a shit brand that people still haven’t cottoned on to the abject failings of.
Massive cunt. I see he has a confused identity. People think he’s a scouser, probably because he pretended to be at some point when it suited him. He was born near Liverpool then grew up near Warrington. So what are you Andy? What do you believe in? Fuck all. Another hollowman, useless lump of shit.
I predict another weak, lying, wishy washy, U turning, waste of oxygen who will be gone within 12 months. Might as well have a stab at it, eh Andy? Mince about like Keir for a while, read from the script given to you by the civil servants who are in charge, make some vague lefty statements, take some flights to conferences, join the Zelensky-Macron-Kraut human centerpede,then get a nice cushy annual salary until death after you’re fired. Good work if you can get it.
Fuck off.
8
Maoism more like. We now have an extremist as PM. But as much as the far right is everywhere the left wing nut jobs in government are to be considered centrists.
Take us back to the 70’s, Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris, Gary Glitter and a socialist government.
4
I saw some gormless old bat on the telly the other week, saying that she knew little about Burnham, but he’d sorted the buses out a bit, so he seemed a decent bloke.
This is the kind of thick as pig shit, mentally lazy fucking spazmo’s us halfway sensible people are up against.
Aided and abetted by the likes of the BBC, who see nothing abnormal about an absolute chancer un democratically assuming power and are currently wanking themselves into oblivion over him.
Fuck me sideways!
9
Nail on head, there’s a large part of the population that has no inkling of life outside their front door.
Democracy is great when you can manipulate the population so easily.
6
I went to Manchester on a stag do a few years back. The groom lived somewhere near Withington, never really moved on from his student days. The centre had obviously had some money chucked at it. The same old drab suburbs though, badly patched roads and pavements covered in dogshit. A year or so of Burnham in charge the entire country will look like that.
6
The centre was redeveloped by the IRA, maybe that’s why they are filling the country with terrorists?
4
A digression I don’t give a monkeys cuss about, but why don’t England turn out an all white side for this one occasion in memory of times gone by when everyone was living in a peaceful environment. I experienced it for years and would like to reminisce just one more time.
5
Because:
‘ White English players currently make up an estimated 10% to 12% of the total players in the Premier League. League-wide, the player pool is highly diverse, with roughly 68% of all squad players holding foreign nationalities. Black players make up around 43% of the total Premier League player pool.’
5
Last time England won the world cup..
https://share.google/euujAzLsENvnPcdx2
MAKE BRITAIN WHITE AGAIN..🇬🇧✝️
5
This ‘best loser’ game tonight with France…out of 22 overpaid cissies, presumably at least 18 will be wolligogs?
8