Come on Andy!

The Royal Box at Wimbledon is in sore need of a mass cunting. Apart from the Oscars and Baftas, I can’t think of an event or place where so many utter cunts are gathered together at the same time.

For a start, it’s not a box but seems to take up an entire fucking stand. I could understand if it was a little gold-plated box where Her Majesty could have a sit-down with whoever’s been anointing the royal bristols since Phillips’s demise. Perhaps a basket for a favoured corgi and kneeling space for one or two slaves.

Instead we have an embankment the size of the South Downs in which the likes of hee-hawing Prince William, Eddie ‘bearded-pedos-in-dresses-are-women’ Redmayne and whichever fucking Beckham needs a bit of camera time can sit and gloat to their heart’s content, along with an endless collection of other cunts who will never have to stand in a queue, catch a bus or pay to watch a fucking movie (or tennis match for that matter).

I could understand if the stand opposite had a small balcony for a sniper to pick the cunts off one by one, or even better a mounted great fucking sten gun to make a giant cunt-mince but no, it’s just a swathe of seats for lesser cunts.

What’s more, the fuckers are placed behind the service line so that they don’t even have to hurt their wringeable necks watching the ball being tapped from left to right.

I had more to say but I’ve wound myself up so much I’m off to have a poo and a lie-down until I feel better.

Cunts.

Nominated by – Galted

Would ye happen to be wantin’ a bit of Plutonium?

Scammers need a cunting for being the low life snake shit scum that they are.

New scam one of my customers had the other day, he was trying to sell his car, 2 greasy eastern euro Romany types apparently from east London turn up wanting to buy the car, they look over it asking questions and generally distracting our hero.

One of the cunts calls him to the back of the car pointing out some bollocks while the other cunt is climbing over the engine, then cunt number 2 then distracts him at the engine end pointing out more bollocks and the its test drive time [the car had been run earlier that day to get petrol].

The car goes down the road and its like something form a Bond film, smoke like you wouldnt beleive, they bring the car back, cunt number 1 dips his finger in the header tank and says its full of oil and with the smoke, that means the head gasket has failed, we’ll take the car off your hands for 5k a quarter of the advertised price cuz it will cost more than that to fix, they then tried to force our hero to sell the car at that price, eventually he fucks them off and after much hassle blocks their number.

As an afterthought our hero checks his cctv to find these pieces of shit squirted oil up the exhaust and put oil in the header tank, its now costing him money to get it all flushed out, but at least these fuckers didnt get the car, what a bunch of cunts.

So be on the look out if your selling a car, answering your phone, opening an email, these worthless peices of shit will do anything to con someone…gas the cunts i reckon.

Nominated by – Fuglyucker

This spawn of a cunt is a case study of a pathetic, fucked up, spoiled politikid who has refused to become a man.

With daddy covering his sorry ass his whole life, he has had no incentive to grow up and take any adult responsibility. His daddy is obviously as good a dad as he is president.

Now Hunter is a pawn for funnelling money to his daddy Joe “Big Guy” Biden. Turns out he paints artwork that admittedly is worthy of a decent hotel room wall. However, art that would normally cost about the same as the frame and glass is being sold for up to $500,000.00!

Any idiot will instantly see what is going on here. The content of his laptop he neglected might be worth that but not his artwork. This tactic is just like Hillary Clinton filtering her pay offs through her family foundation (allegedly – NA). Those payments dried up the day after the 2016 election for some reason.

The list of reasons Hunter is a chrome plated cunt is quite long but this proves he is unrepentant in his choice to be a tool of alleged corruption under his daddy’s protection. A sad piece of human garbage. That whole family is nothing but losers with old Joe setting the tone for that legacy to continue unchanged for generations to come.

In opinion most of his art looks like something growing in a petri dish.

https://mol.im/a/9769107

Hunter’s art raises ethical concerns

(Additional link provided by Night Admin because he hates the Biden clan too – NA)

Nominated by: Meat Curtains

There are not many people more cuntish than wine connoisseurs.

Wine is a drink for the masses. In many countries it is cheaper than water and certainly safer to drink. Even young children get in on the act, half a glass of wine topped up with lemonade.

So why in some countries is the wine thing so fucking poncey?

A stuck up waiter will pour a tiny amount for you to taste.
Just leave the bottle you cunt, it’s house red not a fucking Chateau Briand 85.

On to the tasting ritual……

First you have to hold your glass up to the light and check that there are no flies, toenails or corn plasters.
Then you have to stick your nose into the glass to get the aroma.
If it doesn’t smell like vinegar then you go on to taste it.A large sip which you have to swill around your mouth before swallowing.

Now you have to say the first and most pretentious thing you can think of.

“I’m getting a hint of saddle soap and freshly mown grass”

It’s all bollocks. If you watch a proper wine tasting session you will see that nobody actually drinks the stuff. They spit it out.

The reason is that they don’t want to fuck up their taste buds for the next wine.

So why do people buy an entire bottle of expensive wine in a restaurant? They are only going to appreciate the first sip.

Buy just a glass of the good stuff and follow that with a bottle or two of the cheap shit.

I have never worked out what to do with the cork when I am given it in the super poncey restaurants that I have been to.

More research is needed.

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

A cunting for muppets and how the fuck they have survived so long without help, natural selection is real and its coming for cunts like this fuck monkey and lots like him:

Man confuses stun gun for shaver

You know the dicks I mean, handstanding selfie takers on the edge of cliffs or leccy scooter surfers or even muppets who modify their cars but don’t know what they’re doing. Like the bell ends that dress up as a pantomime zebra and wander around the Serengeti looking for lions…… The clock is ticking for these stupid fuckers……

Nominated by: Fuglyucker

Seconded with links-a-plenty by Hard Brexit Cunt:

I’ll second this nomination but it still doesn’t beat the Polish cunt who chopped off his own head with a chainsaw during a drinking game with his mates.

Darwin Awards

https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg14820049-500-feedback/

Link to amputation stories…yes really.