is a cunt.
Well into my holiday to Menorca and I report back that customs passport control much better than when I went to Fuerteventura in march.
I have played my joker! I requested special assistance. Yes I’m a cunt but I limp in with an nhs walking stick, my lads and am wheeled everywhere suitcases checked in for us use a lift to board the plane last off plane push straight to the front and jobs a good un. Mrs E/cunt and our 38 year old daughter are not smiling having to follow me on foot carrying hand luggage but fuck em. I’ve spent 40 odd years carrying more than a mules load.
Anyway back to my cunting. Our hotel is nice 3 pools decent grub all inclusive , good sized twin bedrooms air conditioning etc.
family’s and couples it said in the advertisement. Fuck me 70 % of all guests are aged between 1 and 7. 3 or 4 kids per family. Fucking nightmare if you are looking for any peace. Screaming kids everywhere. Why aren’t the cunts in school. Bastards.
Lesson to learn read all reviews with much diligence next time. Shame Menorca is a pretty place I hired a car to visit some great places and beaches. Then return to eat surrounded by millions of other peoples kids. And it’s a cunt.
Nominated by everyonesacunt.
Nice move pretending to be a cripple.👍
But if you want to keep kids well away go dressed as Jimmy Saville.
The parents will keep
little Jayden an skylar well away.
or do what i do.
dont go at all.
8
ps
if you rock up in a wheelchair you get a complimentary sandwich and colouring book on the flight.
5
No but you beat the fucking queues and get waved on at passport control. I’ve been watching fat cunts half my age do this for years and thought fuck it I’m having some of that. The Mrs wasn’t impressed but that is because she is used to me carrying her excess baggage. In the end she put it on the wheel chair.
5
Did that place have a pool slide that was a giant octopus? If so, I was there last year with my kids. Great stuff 😂😂
5
FC you are Ed Davey and I claim my ‘Fuck the Postmasters’ badge.
5
One of the pools did. Yes the middle one of three in a line.
2
There’s only one thing more likely to ruin a holiday than too many kids.
Too many Germans putting towels on sun loungers at dawn.
Who won the fucking war anyway?
6
I tend to only go to 5* hotels where that practice is banned because you have to use the hotel’s towels for the sun loungers and the pool reception doesn’t open until 07:00.
1
There were no Germans in the resort, Cala en forcat never mind the hotel. Just bloody kids and the don’t use sun loungers just charge about in and out the pool all day
1
Kids are a nightmare, that’s why I only holiday with Kate and Gerry McCann.. by the way,the tapas was magnificent..
6
The same Mr. McCann of Mr. Men fame?
https://share.google/2qHjFicRbB8CzPyvJ
Morning Bz/all.
5
Morning Thomas, I would love to see a Mr Sutcliffe book..
5
There was a time when parents would make sure that the kids behaved themselves.
In a restaurant a child would sit quietly and the parents would actually talk to them.
The restaurant that we were in a few nights ago has a terrace, a few steps up from a large car park.
An Irish family came in and took a table on the terrace.
All of the adults immediately took out their mobiles and started doing whatever the fuck people do on their mobiles.
The daughter was about 9 and ran away from the table, down the steps and straight into the busy car park.
Unfortunately there wasn’t a car coming that could hit her.
The father got up and instead of grabbing hold of the girl to bring her back, followed her as she ran around.
This went on for about 10 minutes. Him following her as she ran around.
His food arrived and was going cold, the other adults alternated between taking a mouthful of their food and getting back to their mobiles.
When the father eventually followed his horrible child back to the restaurant, the mother stuck a dummy in the kids mouth.
About 9 years old and still using a fucking dummy.
When it was time to go they put the cunt kid in a pushchair.
I like to see kids on holiday.
But only the ones that are correctly parented.
They can laugh, play and enjoy themselves, but they are told to be quiet and not annoy people when they need to be.
The other 99% of kids can fuck off.
People should need to pass an intelligence test before they are allowed to have kids.
Good morning.
8
I think I had the misfortune to meet these exact same cunts in Italy a couple of years back.
Complete fucking morons.
Oven.
Good morning.
4
Were they the sort of Irish people who like Dags? Went to Tenerife last year and there was entire clan of the pikey fuckers on the plane. Never seen so much lip filler, botox and Turkey teeth in my life. And the women were as bad. I suppose I should consider myself fortunate they didn’t get pissed and try to strip the plane for scrap in mid-flight.
1
Sounds like you thought the giant, poolside octopus and pirate in the photos were ornamental features and the kids ball pool a random, post modern sculpture.
I like children, but I can’t eat a whole one.
Dogs are increasingly pissing me off though as so many cunts now have them. Stupid women and poofters larping as parents. They don’t know how to train them and there are too many retarded, screechy breeds like sausage dogs. Endless barking all around my house. Fuck off.
3
You will find that dogs are far better behaved than children.
The owners actually watch out for them.
Our ice cream bar is away from the busy beaches and only open for 6 months of the year.
They don’t just serve ice cream.
Like all bars you can enjoy a beer or any other drink that you want.
They serve some light snacks too, but only what’s available.
There is no menu.
We rarely get tourists in there and the locals will bring their dogs along, who will sit quietly under their tables, never annoying anyone.
The bar owner’s wife will put out bowls of water for them, sometimes treating them with a scoop of ice cream in their bowls too.
When it’s very hot the dogs will sneak inside and lay down in front of the fridges to keep cool.
If there are too many, one of the waitresses will fuck them off.
They wander outside for about 10 seconds and then return to the fridges until they get fucked off again.
It would be nice if kids were as intelligent as dogs.
4
I tend to agree, my kids are all grown up now youngest 29 oldest 43 though I am certain the Mrs E/cunt and I taught simple things like table manners when eating out.
1
Find a hotel with
1 No Kids (under 18)
2 No Germans
3 No Brits
4 No Poofs
5 No Kids
6 No fat bastards
7 No fucking kids
8 No Muslims
9 No Lads holiday types
10 Absolutely no fucking kids!
3
This year, I’m going on a short cruise down the coast of Croatia on a sail yacht on my own.
Absolutely no kids, guaranteed.
Absolutely no missus either.
Bliss.
1
Do as Mrs CM and I do, go when the little cunts are in school.
0
They should have been early/mid June. Bastards
0
Although I don’t holiday abroad anymore, you have my sympathy, everyonesacunt.
Years ago, I booked a 5 day break in an all inclusive adults only hotel in Spain. On arrival, we were informed that the hotel was “closed for refurbishment ” ( blocked booked for Spanish pensioners to have their state-paid annual week ), so we were to be accommodated at their Sister hotel.
Yes, you guessed it, different resort and family friendly. We spent one night and relocated to a hotel 60k away that we’d stayed at before. A little shabby and run down but no kids & no chicken nuggets on the buffet .
Worth every penny of the additional cost.
1
I’m entitled to my free holiday every year (you pay just a little if you want a top class resort in peak season).
All inclusive and it wouldn’t cost me a cent.
I have never taken up the offer.
Too many old people.
0