I would like to nominate people who keep ‘Exotic’ pets.

It appears that some guy name of Dan Brandon was asphyxiated by one of his 10, yes 10 snakes he kept in his bedroom along with 12 Tarantulas. On the night in question his Mam said she heard a thud in his bedroom but just assumed he had knocked something over. By the time they found him it was too late. What’s more at the inquest the coroner concluded that the death was caused as a result of contact with the snake but that he had no reason to suspect it was because of aggression or confrontation but if anything a show of affection! Affection. Affecttion!! This is a fucking snake not a fucking kitty kat.

It appears to me that there are three cunts in this sorry tale. No1 and biggest cunt is obviously Dan who chose to keep these fucking deadly creatures in his bedroom so I don’t think he’s got much to complain about when one decides to do what it’s fucking here on Earth to do.

No2 are his Ma and Da for even contemplating the notion of letting the thick cunt bring them in to the house in the first place. What in fucks name were they thinking. Imagine living there. You’d be scared fucking shitless to open a cupboard door or even take a dump lest some slithering reptile jumps out or decides to latch on to your fucking nutsack. Fuck me!

No3 has got to be the fucking coroner. To suggest that a snake somehow is capable of showing affection makes the mind boggle. I don’t ever recall old Davey Attenborough in the jungle with a twenty foot python making it roll over while he tickled its fucking tummy or seeing a King Cobra striking out only to stop short and say ‘just kidding’. No I’m sorry. Sad as this whole affair is there is no other conclusion to be drawn except that people who keep such beasts are indeed Cunts.

Nominated by Kendo Nag

Where can you even start with these little arseholes.

By ‘millennials’ I mean anyone that was educated after Blair got in, in 97.

The ‘men’ – and I use the term very loosely – all have stubble or shitty beards that make them look like a fucking Victorian engine driver. All covered in tattoos. Skinny jeans, shit shoes and ironic T shirts of bands the spastics have never even heard of.

‘What does your tattoo mean?’
‘I just want to be an individual like all my mates’

They cannot string a sentence together without punctuating every other word with the words ‘like’, or ‘basically’.

And that is just the men. No wonder they’re such zeta male pussies when you scrutinise millennial women a bit more closely.

They are invariably 3rd wave feminists. I.e, cunts. Many of them have blue hair. They can often be seen screeching on social media and being ‘woke’ but become uncharacteristically quiet when you point out inconvenient truths like FGM or how appallingly their beloved ‘refugees’ treat their fellow sisters.

They are also *always* current or former students.This rot set in when Blair came in in 97. He encouraged these halfwits to go to ‘uni’. Back in the day, only the very smartest kids went to university to do worthwhile subjects like maths and physics. Now, something like 50% of school leavers do, to study bolleaux like sports science and gender studies. We should be charging these lazy cunts a quarter of a million pounds a year to fuck about with such nonsense after they leave school.

Then, we have our friends the transgenders. A word that didn’t even exist five years ago. But god help you if you offend them. I still have no idea what a transgender actually is and I care not a jot. If you’ve had your knob chopped off, you’re not a woman. You’re an moron that thought he was a bit more interesting than your common garden bender, and will soon realise you were just a common garden bender all along. Whilst you await this road to Damascus revelation, I couldn’t give a flying fuck what you ‘identify’ as Millennials.

Nominated by Mecha-Rigsby.