Gareth Thomas or Alfie as he is known. Has turned out a cunt. Who he? Well he was a decent Welsh rugby player a few years back. As his career began to decline, as all sports careers inevitably do, he came out as gay. Fine, probably brave of him but otherwise ‘nothing to see here’
However, this week he is all over the mejia as victim of hate crime. In Cardiff, that well known bastion of right-on, trendy, all-inclusive thick Welsh cunts.. It seems a 16 year old half wit abused him. He is 6ft 2 n and built like a brick shithouse. For fucks sake. Get a fucking grip. Twat the silly cunt and move on. You are not a fucking victim Gareth. Show some fucking dignity and get over it.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

To; Angela Merkel
Chancellorfuhrer of The Fourth Reich
The Bunker
Berlin

Dearest Mutti,

I’m pleased to learn that you are not intending to seek re-election as Secretary-general to the Christian Democratic Union, although you intend to carry on as Chancellor of Germany until 2021.

In 1914 and again in 1939, your country sought supremacy in Europe through force of arms and failed both times, at enormous cost to those opposing you. The CDU has now governed Germany for thirteen years, and it is my belief that during your time as Chancellor, you and your puppets in Brussels have worked assiduously to establish German political and economic hegemony through the domination of the EU and its institutions.

You were well on your way to realising your dream until ironically, your own contentious policies turned around and bit you on your fat arse. Your so-called Euro ‘rescue’ policies have caused huge economic and social dislocation across the continent. Meanwhile your disastrous ‘open door’ policy in 2015 allowed over a million ‘refugees’ to pour in against a background of cuts in welfare provision, causing a huge backlash both domestically and throughout Europe.

Your national coalition managed to cling on to power in 2017, but woeful results in 2018 state elections have further reduced your credibility. Let’s face it Mutti, your chances of hanging on until 2021 are slim indeed. You’ll go with your cherished EU project unfinished. The EU does not have financial integration. The idea of an EU army is a dream, and the Euro is an unmitigated disaster which has wrecked havoc across a number of countries. The cracks grow wider. No doubt you’ll do your best to fuck us over where Brexit’s concerned, but the natives everywhere grow increasingly restless, and all the while your creature ‘Fun Boy’ Juncker and his cronies cling to the cherished belief that the answer to every problem is ‘more Europe’.

Enoch Powell once said that all political careers end in failure, and it seems that yours, dear Mutti, is also destined to do just that. You’ve learned the hard way that people don’t like uncontrolled migration, and they don’t like being told repeatedly that someone in Berlin or Brussels knows better than they do what’s good for them. You’re a busted flush, a dead woman walking, a lame duck with a crumbling legacy. It can’t go on much longer.

Auf wiedersehen pet, or as they put it more bluntly in the land of my good lady’s birth, ‘awa’ hame an’ throw shite at yersel’.

Yours,

Ron Knee

I wish to nominate Matthew Hedges for a solid counting. He chose to research a PhD thesis conducting research on the UAE’s security strategy. He goes to a dysfunctional country, where he is despised as a kafhir and is then surprised when he is arrested for espionage, undoubtedly on spurious charges. The stupid cunt then has the audacity to try to obtain public sympathy and help from the UK Government. If he is so stupid as to think that investigating a third world shithole’s security strategy is an appropriate area of study, he and his academic supervisors deserve lifetime incarceration, if only to prevent the utterly stupid cunts from breeding. An utterly stupid cunt who can only be awarded a PhD in CUNTITUDE. Hedges should be given the honorary title of Dr Cunt the stupid.

Nominated by Sir Cuntalot

What happened to those good old fashioned libraries where you could go to read or study in peace and quiet?

Now they are like a local community centre, with bloody kids running about, their stupid indulgent parents letting them run wild, loud yacking women, chess clubs, yummy mummies and their horrible kids singing etc….eff off the lot of you.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

Danger or Dark Tourism

This is the seemingly new practice of usually 1st world cunts travelling , quite intentionally to 3rd world shitholes.

However, unlike Jemima and Tarquin’s gap year building orphanages out of bricks made from the locals’ excrement, the strategy ofnthese monumental cunts is to deliberately target areas that the foreign office says try not to bother with if at all possible.

These cunts are usually boyfriend and girlfriend and without fail the bloke will usually be antipodean and will own one of those maps to show all the CUNTries he’s been to, with which the cunt will be only to happy to bore you.
Like I’m fucking interested.

It’s a shame these maps don’t have time spent in each country on them as no doubt Australia is way down that ranking table but he’ll tell you how great Australia is . Yeah your home country is a fucking desert effectively . It’s why all you cunts are here.

Anyway I digress, I’ve just overhead this.dozy bitch in the office say that her and “Brad” are going to a fairly dangerous part of central Asia on a three month sabbatical.

She says this loudly a lot , like the rest of us are supposed to be impressed that quite literally the softest person in the office has been tricked into thinking it will be fun. I shit you not, she was crying the other day because someone else’s cat died.

She has this idealised view of where she is going, as if she is some sort of latter day Walter Thesiger.

The reality will more likely be that Brad gets his head cut off on YouTube and she gets annihilated in all holes before suffering the same fate.

There’s no romance in going to war zones you stupid stupid cunt, it’s why nobody wants to be there.

Nominated by Cunt of the litter